For those who don't know me, at an early age (maybe ten) I was taken in by, and lived with / was raised by my grandparents, who to all intents and purposes, fulfilled the role of parents up to my early 30s (I'm now Just 34).
My old man was a legend, he was successful in the Army in his younger days, and later became a very skilled engineer working on aircraft for what was then Dowty Rotol. His money always went into giving his family the best life possible, and one thing he always insisted on was maintaining and repairing his own cars, which, is where I think I must get my fascination from.
My grandma, who other than biologically undertook the role of a mother with me, became very unwell when I was about 16. She had numerous strokes, brittle diabetes, severe mobility problems, breathing difficulties, and began to need around the clock care. Being such a faithful rock, my old man (who was in brilliant health) religiously cared for her day in day out, and devoted his life to doing so. He even stopped having a social drink, and went tee total many years ago, because he wanted to be fresh / able to drive, should she require medical attention.
I have always thought he would outlive her by a long way, and envisaged taking him on holidays and giving him a really decent quality towards the later stages of his life.
In a twist of fate, in April 2014, at the age of 81, he was lugging about bags of compost and gravel, maintaining the garden, and suddenly sat down, saying he had pain in his head. He then slipped into "sleep" and an ambulance was called. A few hours later, in hospital, we were told that he'd had a catastrophic bleed on his brain, and had a matter of hours. I was with him, among other relatives, by his bedside as he slipped away, in timing with the sun going down, on the same day.
I was convinced the old lady would follow him, and be lost without him. But in true stubbornness, she bounced back over time, and adapted to living alone, with family and carers coming in to do (everything).
A couple of weeks ago, after stripping that Corsa engine, I flew to the Canaries for a holiday, with a real need to unwind. After my first night there, I had a phone call the next morning. She had died that morning, found slumped over the kitchen worktop in her wheelchair.
I've needed some time to process it all, and it's suddenly hitting me that I've lost my parents. Although she was unwell, she was mentally as sharp as a knife, "with it", in terms of today's society, and spent hours talking to me and guiding me.
I do still have my biological mum, but for reasons I don't want to go into, the relationship by nature consists of me providing the support and advice, not the other way around - and she'll also need more of that from me now they are gone.
To this end, other than my uncle, who is an absolute rock, and his wife and kids, I don't have any family left!
Life sucks sometimes.
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Topic: Bereavement (Read 2760 times)