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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

The NHS are very kindly going to send out a bowel cancer test kit.

It's not every day I am given the opportunity to scrape some shit into a plastic bottle and send it through the Royal Mail.

Isn't getting older great? Who would want to be young ever again?

Cant you just send them a pair of your heavily soiled smalls?

I think you may be confusing me with an old man who lives happily with his whippet in Barnsley.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Indeed, really sorry to hear that Varche, hope the treatment goes well for him!

I'm still at the age where the Doc is overwhelming interested in my balls. Not sure when the ar$ehole phase kicks in but I'm happy to wait.

Is prostate cancer still diagnosed with a finger in the rusty sheriff's badge or have the found a more humane way to do it these days?

I had a Chinese doctor plunge a gloved finger up my arsehole a few years ago. An experience I did not appreciate.

Actually, I assume he was doctor. He came from nowhere and disappeared just as quickly. Perhaps he just walked in off the street.

[biggriffin]

Indeed, really sorry to hear that Varche, hope the treatment goes well for him!

I'm still at the age where the Doc is overwhelming interested in my balls. Not sure when the ar$ehole phase kicks in but I'm happy to wait.

Is prostate cancer still diagnosed with a finger in the rusty sheriff's badge or have the found a more humane way to do it these days?

.
 
 I had a blood test, ask for PSA test, they only let me have it as father has been diagnosed with prostate, Dr said not a problem, but you do realise if it comes back positive, you will need a fingering,  not a problem, don't die of embarrassment, you can also get false positive with blood test,  all came back fine, so I didn't get a fingering

[Doctor Gollum]

The disappointment must have been almost overwhelming 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I've given a few girls a good fingering but I don't think I was checking for prostrate problems.

[Sir Tigger KC]

The NHS are very kindly going to send out a bowel cancer test kit.

It's not every day I am given the opportunity to scrape some shit into a plastic bottle and send it through the Royal Mail.

Isn't getting older great? Who would want to be young ever again?

Cant you just send them a pair of your heavily soiled smalls?

I suspect that Lord Opti's days of wearing pairs of 'Budgie Smugglers' are long gone! 

A practical pair of M&S Y-Fronts are probably more appropriate these days. 

[ronnyd]

Indeed, really sorry to hear that Varche, hope the treatment goes well for him!

I'm still at the age where the Doc is overwhelming interested in my balls. Not sure when the ar$ehole phase kicks in but I'm happy to wait.

Is prostate cancer still diagnosed with a finger in the rusty sheriff's badge or have the found a more humane way to do it these days?

I had a Chinese doctor plunge a gloved finger up my arsehole a few years ago. An experience I did not appreciate.

Actually, I assume he was doctor. He came from nowhere and disappeared just as quickly. Perhaps he just walked in off the street.

Think yourself lucky that his name wasn't Harold. 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

I had a doctor do the finger thing once. I say a finger. Could have been a pedal bin for all I know. I have no sense of perspective down there.

[omegod]

I got a damn good fingering recently off a very attractive Polish female GP, A very difficult experience mentally  !!!!

[STEMO]

I've had it done twice and it's nowt. The second doctor who did it was a very young chap and I think he was more nervous than me. Problem is, I'm not sure he even knew what he was supposed to be feeling for.

[STEMO]

I got a damn good fingering recently off a very attractive Polish female GP, A very difficult experience mentally  !!!!

I know. I went for a scan for an inguinal hernia and I nearly died when a young girl invited me in. I think I even blurted out "Will you be doing it?".She gelled me up and matter-of-factly told me to hold the old man to one side while she did the scan.
Afterwards she handed me a piece of paper towel to wipe myself as if she'd just wanked me off. 

[Viral_Jim]

Indeed, really sorry to hear that Varche, hope the treatment goes well for him!

I'm still at the age where the Doc is overwhelming interested in my balls. Not sure when the ar$ehole phase kicks in but I'm happy to wait.

Is prostate cancer still diagnosed with a finger in the rusty sheriff's badge or have the found a more humane way to do it these days?

.
 
 I had a blood test, ask for PSA test, they only let me have it as father has been diagnosed with prostate, Dr said not a problem, but you do realise if it comes back positive, you will need a fingering,  not a problem, don't die of embarrassment, you can also get false positive with blood test,  all came back fine, so I didn't get a fingering

I pay for an annual health screen, its a good opportunity for the Doc to tell me I'm overweight, drink too much and (usually grudgingly) that I have better liver function and blood pressure than average for my age. I'm yet to have 'the finger' but I do get the old cough please, rub and squeeze of the wedding veg. Not sure if I have PSA on the blood tests but I'll ask next time 

I fear that as 40 looms on the horizon, so does the finger....

[STEMO]

Indeed, really sorry to hear that Varche, hope the treatment goes well for him!

I'm still at the age where the Doc is overwhelming interested in my balls. Not sure when the ar$ehole phase kicks in but I'm happy to wait.

Is prostate cancer still diagnosed with a finger in the rusty sheriff's badge or have the found a more humane way to do it these days?

.
 
 I had a blood test, ask for PSA test, they only let me have it as father has been diagnosed with prostate, Dr said not a problem, but you do realise if it comes back positive, you will need a fingering,  not a problem, don't die of embarrassment, you can also get false positive with blood test,  all came back fine, so I didn't get a fingering

I pay for an annual health screen, its a good opportunity for the Doc to tell me I'm overweight, drink too much and (usually grudgingly) that I have better liver function and blood pressure than average for my age. I'm yet to have 'the finger' but I do get the old cough please, rub and squeeze of the wedding veg. Not sure if I have PSA on the blood tests but I'll ask next time 

I fear that as 40 looms on the horizon, so does the finger....

You're far too young for a PSA test.
Anyway, you've got enough to worry about with climate change 

[Viral_Jim]

You're far too young for a PSA test.
Anyway, you've got enough to worry about with climate change 

I know, what with that, being a snowflake remoaner and crippling EV range anxiety its a wonder I haven't blown a gasket. 

[Sir Tigger KC]

You don't have to worry about the finger Jimmy, as apparently we'll all be dead in 10 years anyway!