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[STEMO]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

I trust you are aware this is a forum about cars and car related items.

[STEMO]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

I trust you are aware this is a forum about cars and car related items.

Not in general disrespect, it's not. This is the section where your lustfulness for you sister in law, and the consequential laptop collision with your cranium is posted. Remember? 

[dave the builder]

Just paint the old carpet 

[STEMO]

Just paint the old carpet 

I told her that it's 'the in thing' now to just have no carpet and paint the floorboards. She doesn't swear very often, but she suggested that I may have a dick for a brain. Women, eh? 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

I trust you are aware this is a forum about cars and car related items.

Not in general disrespect, it's not. This is the section where your lustfulness for you sister in law, and the consequential laptop collision with your cranium is posted. Remember? 

Point taken.....

But please don't feel obliged to tell me which carpet shampoo you and your good lady have decided on.

[STEMO]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

I trust you are aware this is a forum about cars and car related items.

Not in general disrespect, it's not. This is the section where your lustfulness for you sister in law, and the consequential laptop collision with your cranium is posted. Remember? 

Point taken.....

But please don't feel obliged to tell me which carpet shampoo you and your good lady have decided on.

We just buy a new one if it gets dirty.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Went up on Saturday to pick a carpet for the stairs and landing. I had to take SWMBO, obviously. I picked what I thought was a nice, plain colour that I thought would match quite well. The boss intervened and overruled me with a check patterned one. The fitter just rang up...if we'd have gone with mine, £350. Because the pattern has to be matched down the stairs, £500.
Next time.............

I trust you are aware this is a forum about cars and car related items.

Not in general disrespect, it's not. This is the section where your lustfulness for you sister in law, and the consequential laptop collision with your cranium is posted. Remember? 

Point taken.....

But please don't feel obliged to tell me which carpet shampoo you and your good lady have decided on.

We just buy a new one if it gets dirty.

Is this still a thread about carpets?

[STEMO]

But that, as all married men know, is not the point. For the next years, I will have to remark on how it looks worn in parts, doesn't match the carpet it's next to in the bedrooms, shows up all the bits, etc. It will be my 'go to' when she picks me up on anything at all. 

[tunnie]

Count yourselves lucky, re-doing the floor down stairs following the extension so it all matches.

Won't see change from a couple of grand 

[STEMO]

Count yourselves lucky, re-doing the floor down stairs following the extension so it all matches.

Won't see change from a couple of grand 

No, not lucky. Four bedrooms want doing yet, but I've got to decorate them first 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Count yourselves lucky, re-doing the floor down stairs following the extension so it all matches.

Won't see change from a couple of grand 

No, not lucky. Four bedrooms want doing yet, but I've got to decorate them first 

This carpet thread would be more exciting if........

Your nubile and sexy neighbour came round to see if  you could lend her a cup of sugar. You say yes....... but she will need to pay.

You could then update your post on how 'carpet burns' can cause nasty marks to the arse, back, and shoulders of sexually active young women.

This can all take place in perfect safety as your good lady wife is away teaching feral children who don't want to learn. No need for her to know.  

[STEMO]

Count yourselves lucky, re-doing the floor down stairs following the extension so it all matches.

Won't see change from a couple of grand 

No, not lucky. Four bedrooms want doing yet, but I've got to decorate them first 

This carpet thread would be more exciting if........

Your nubile and sexy neighbour came round to see if  you could lend her a cup of sugar. You say yes....... but she will need to pay.

You could then update your post on how 'carpet burns' can cause nasty marks to the arse, back, and shoulders of sexually active young women.

This can all take place in perfect safety as your good lady wife is away teaching feral children who don't want to learn. No need for her to know.

Have you quite finished? Yes? Then clean yourself up. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Count yourselves lucky, re-doing the floor down stairs following the extension so it all matches.

Won't see change from a couple of grand 

No, not lucky. Four bedrooms want doing yet, but I've got to decorate them first 

This carpet thread would be more exciting if........

Your nubile and sexy neighbour came round to see if  you could lend her a cup of sugar. You say yes....... but she will need to pay.

You could then update your post on how 'carpet burns' can cause nasty marks to the arse, back, and shoulders of sexually active young women.

This can all take place in perfect safety as your good lady wife is away teaching feral children who don't want to learn. No need for her to know.

Have you quite finished? Yes? Then clean yourself up. 

Your memory is excellent.

Your can remember exactly what she said before she put her knickers back on.

[Rods2]

When the carpet settles in a few weeks & the check pattern doesn't align thats your excuse to go & buy the plain one that you really wanted. Lord Opti will confirm that £850 is cheap for a brace of carpets or laptops & you still have enough change to buy 3 brace of Omegas.

[biggriffin]

Make sure the new carpet is Teflon coated, so if you have a leakage, or the wippet piddles on it, will clean easy.

[Kevin Wood]

We've just had a new stairs and landing carpet. Wanted a stripy one until the carpet fitter took a look at our stair case and assured us that we didn't because none of it will match around the staggered steps.

My wallet has been lightened to a rather greater degree than STEMO's though. Maybe I need to move to Barnsley? Once I've had some wear out of this carpet, natch.

[Rods2]

Make sure the new carpet is Teflon coated, so if you have a leakage, or the wippet piddles on it, will clean easy.

I'm sure it will have been Scotch Guarded & if not it will be Liverpool guarded with a baseball bat.

[2boxerdogs]

Know the feeling bedroom 4 being carpeted next week & of course new bed & bedroom furniture , it's only money.

[STEMO]

We've just had a new stairs and landing carpet. Wanted a stripy one until the carpet fitter took a look at our stair case and assured us that we didn't because none of it will match around the staggered steps.

My wallet has been lightened to a rather greater degree than STEMO's though. Maybe I need to move to Barnsley? Once I've had some wear out of this carpet, natch.

Are you paying them to lift the old carpet and underlay (and a million tacks and staples)? That's what I've been doing this morning, just got back from the tip.

[Kevin Wood]

Yes, they did take away the old stuff and replace the underlay. Don't remember them charging for that, but I'm sure I paid one way or the other.

Was too knee deep in decorating to amass enough arsed-ness to take the old one to the tip.

[New POD]

We bought a hall stairs and landing carpet for a Buy to let last February.  Apparently the place we go sells lots of grey carpet to landlords with a 10 year guarantee. You can even clean it with bleach. £180 with underlay. Took 3 blokes 1.5 hours to fit.  I had removed the old one though.

[STEMO]

We bought a hall stairs and landing carpet for a Buy to let last February.  Apparently the place we go sells lots of grey carpet to landlords with a 10 year guarantee. You can even clean it with bleach. £180 with underlay. Took 3 blokes 1.5 hours to fit.  I had removed the old one though.

I wasn't that fussy on a grey, industrial grade carpet, strangely enough.

[aaronjb]

We went to view a house in a nearby village this week and the first thing I thought on walking in was "God that's a nice carpet, I wonder where they got it from"

I must be getting old 

[STEMO]

Carpet fitter is here, and is interfering with my daily Bargain Hunt. I've offered him coffee but he says he must get on. If he goes out to his van, the wind may blow the front door shut. 

[dave the builder]

Carpet fitter is here, and is interfering with my daily Bargain Hunt. I've offered him coffee but he says he must get on. If he goes out to his van, the wind may blow the front door shut. 

No biscuits or bacon butty 
will you be putting your own nails in the stair treads then to hold the carpet in place 

[dave the builder]

Finished nailing the carpet down yet Uncle Stemo