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« on: 04 February 2013, 23:54:30 »
2 Indian junkies accidently snorted curry powder instead of cocaine . both are in hospital...one's in a korma.. the other's got a dodgy tikka!
Police have spoken to Freddie Starr's 34 year old fiancee and she has said she has never had reason to think he was a paedophile in all their 25 years together !!!!
After queuing up at the Tesco checkout this morning, Mr Patel said to the cashier, "Can you do this any cheaper?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, "If we did it for you then we'd have to do it for everybody."
Mr Patel said, "Yes, but it's got today's date on it. If nobody buys it then it's just going to get thrown away !"
"Look sir, you're holding up the queue. Do you want the newspaper or not?!"
Having read 50 Shades of Grey a Welsh guy persuades his girfriend to try anal sex for the first time. He says "If it hurts too much, yell the safety word twice & I'll stop." She says "OK, what's the safety word?"
"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs.
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots....Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty Runs Out Soon.:/
"ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY" and with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel!!!
A Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! Its doing well! Prophets are going through the roof !