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Messages - btc

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... 31
46
General Car Chat / Re: Push-me-pull-you
« on: 25 August 2019, 16:37:44 »

47
General Discussion Area / Re: Sticky for Jokes
« on: 30 April 2019, 18:08:36 »

So I'm at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for the brats

While in the queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog

Why else would I be buying dog food muppet ?

So being twisted andy I told her "No, I don't have a dog, I'm starting my Dog Food Diet again" and that I probably really shouldn't because the last time, I had ended up in hospital, in intensive care with IV's in both arms and tubes coming out of most orifices. But I had lost 3 stone in 4 Weeks!

I told her that it was essentially the Perfect Diet and all you have to do is load your pockets with handfuls of dry dog food and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I get the 'Complete' food as it is nutritionally balanced, so it works really well, and I decided that I was going to give it another go.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story)

Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's arse and a lorry hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Now that you've read this I have to confess, I stole it from another page! Now go make someone else laugh

48
General Discussion Area / Re: Word Association.
« on: 07 February 2019, 20:35:24 »
Leg's

49
General Discussion Area / Re: Mrs May back to wag a finger at the EU.
« on: 06 February 2019, 22:10:18 »
To me, Tusks remarks show a degree of fear, panic and desperation starting to show.
WTO terms it is. Bring it on.  :)

Maybe because they will miss the payments made by the UK

50
General Discussion Area / Re: Word Association.
« on: 14 January 2019, 11:01:44 »
Egg

51
General Discussion Area / Re: Word Association.
« on: 10 December 2018, 11:04:54 »
Royal

52
General Discussion Area / Re: Brexit negotiations
« on: 17 November 2018, 15:19:08 »
keep going until they get the result they want

53
General Discussion Area / Re: Paper is dead .... ?
« on: 30 October 2018, 09:22:59 »
 :D :D :D

54
General Discussion Area / Re: Time to leave the forum.
« on: 29 September 2018, 16:19:24 »
No I don't sorry mate I lived in Shotton for a couple of years

55
General Discussion Area / Re: Time to leave the forum.
« on: 29 September 2018, 15:34:46 »
I know that junction well and it is poorly designed and marked there have been a few bump's there

56
General Discussion Area / Re: Billie Jean by the Donald
« on: 21 July 2018, 19:40:42 »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D That's really well done it must take an age to do he has a couple of other as well 

57
General Car Chat / Re: What did you learn to drive with?
« on: 02 June 2018, 21:50:00 »
Can't get the pics to show  :-[

58
General Car Chat / Re: What did you learn to drive with?
« on: 02 June 2018, 21:38:22 »
Black leather int bonnet was massive

59
General Car Chat / Re: What did you learn to drive with?
« on: 02 June 2018, 20:26:12 »
Learnt to drive a 4 tonner when i was 17 in the army. actual went legal at 21 in a ford escort.

That's what I passed my test in in 1977  learnt in a mk4 ford zodiac 1971 which I bought and was my first car gold with black leather bonnet was massive

60
General Discussion Area / Re: I quite like my Job.
« on: 02 June 2018, 18:16:50 »
I had a lovely purple estate droop snout had that car probably longer than any other was written off and reshelled  in 1992  :y

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