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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Thursday 16th October.....3.00 am.

We were abruptly awoken by a noise that would make the first exchange in a nuclear war sound like a fart in a biscuit tin.....BBBAAANNNGGG.

I believe my first words were something to the effect of......What the f**king hell was that?

Hard to believe but it took me almost five minutes to find out exactly what had happened. I looked everywhere before I finally found a huge wagon in our conservatory. A bloodied and bewildered driver stared back at me with eyes the size of dinner plates.

I immediately called 999 and asked for police assistance along with an ambulance. Twenty minutes later they turned up. Five minutes after this two fire engines also arrived.

The driver, who spoke little english, provided a negative breath test and was subsequently taken to hospital. The consensus of the conversation being that he may have fallen asleep at the wheel.

Luckily for us the lorry had 'rampaged' a significant distance through our neighbours land before reaching us. Impact speed was probably less than 20 MPH.

The emergency services (about ten people in total) left at around 6.30 am....This was when Mrs Opti suddenly became very distressed and fearful.

I now have to deal with my insurance company who predictably are making things far from easy. A structural engineer has already been and the loss adjuster is due on Tuesday.

The garden is completely trashed. This was made worse when they removed the lorry because there was much 'greenery' in the form of mature trees and bushes to cut away. This took four hours.

Still, I'm not called Opti for nothing and far worse things happen every day throughout the world.

Thanks for yous concern, chaps.



 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

No full-breasted scullery maids were injured during this unfortunate episode.

[aaronjb]

Well I certainly won't be phoning up Caspianro Ltd to hire a driver any time soon!

Glad you're all OK, albeit shaken and stirred.  Hopefully the insurance company don't drag their heels too much.

[cam2502]

Jeez!!!!  Luckily it was 3AM and not Pm.

[omega3000]

Bloody nora  Glad your all ok including servants 

[Broomies Mate]

Christ on a Bike. 

Bloody lucky nobody was hurt, and in the grand scheme of things, lucky that the Conservatory was there!!!!

With regards to the driver, if I'd just woken up whilst ploughing a field and abruptly halting in the side of a house, my English would be pretty bad too! 

[The Sheriff]

Keep your chins up, Opti, a nice new conservatory to replace the old one is a bonus not to be sniffed at. Tell Mrs. Opti that she should be pleased at the lengths you will go to to get her a new structure for Christmas.

You did hire the driver, right?

[chrisgixer]

Lordy.

[tidla]

Couldnt you have found a smaller truck?

Fully loaded i recon that would have continued even further!

All the best with your cleanup.

[henryd]

Shit Opti,I would have expected to see a Waitrose lorry but never mind ,seriously though,glad you are ok

[cem_devecioglu]

 




good news .. glad nothing happened to anyone Opti


I hope insurance may pay your expenses..

[biggriffin]

Mr opti.
Why have  you phoned your insurance company. You need to get in contact with the haulage company's insurers,and get them to deal with it,there driver(loosely) was responsible,so they need to sort it,all claims and damage direct to them.
 other option is a no win no fee company.

The company on the side use no English drivers, cant think who they work for think its fwsp.

[Lizzie_Zoom]

My goodness Opti, you certainly know how to have a full life of surprises!!

Thank God you are both OK

[Sir Tigger KC]

I'm glad to hear that you and Mrs Opti are OK!    and looking on the bright side at least the MV6 didn't get trashed!!   

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I'm glad to hear that you and Mrs Opti are OK!  and looking on the bright side at least the MV6 didn't get trashed!!   

Yep....on the other side of the house, Sir Tig.

[TheBoy]

As said on another post, the only thing that matters is nobody was hurt.

Just remember that in the months ahead when the insurance are doing their best to piss you off. You've had an incredibly lucky escape.

Its worth being aware of your frame of mind, and that of Mrs Opti, in the coming weeks when the reality of this really does slam home....   ....like a frakkin big Scania into your house

[PhilRich]

I do hope those firemen wiped their boots before they came in!
Seriously though, as these things go, you have been incredibly lucky Opti thank goodness!
Now get that Conservatory on egay ASAP

[VXL V6]

Glad your all OK.
Did you not empty the contents of the lorry? Probably full of fine Cognac that would be best kept in Opti Towers cellar (*)

[05omegav6]

That didn't look too bad from the road...

The driver is king lucky it wasn't a left hooker too, seeing where the window frame ended up
Although not as lucky as you two that he had half of the trees in Fenland slowing him down

As Biggriffen says, straight to the the haulage firms insurers with you

[Vamps]

As said on another thread, glad no one was hurt............  

Was it the wife's sister who hired the driver?...............

[Andy B]

Glad all are OK at Opti Towers ....... 

I'm sure your paid staff will be able to clear up the aftermath 

[cleggy]

No injuries
Property can be rebuilt you can't 
Just move into a cottage on the estate until the builders have rebuilt the mansion

[dbug]

Kin hell - glad you're all ok

As others have said your claim is with the hauliers insurers, not your's, unless of course your conservatory was in motion at the time of the collision 

[Marks DTM Calib]

Just remember its not a conservatory.....as it does not have a glass roof.

And as a result the re-built item will have to meet full modern insulated building regulations all at the insurers cost 

So glad your both ok, have you had to move in with the sister in laws for a while.

[Kevin Wood]

Just remember its not a conservatory.....as it does not have a glass roof.

And as a result the re-built item will have to meet full modern insulated building regulations all at the insurers cost 

So glad your both ok, have you had to move in with the sister in laws for a while.

Damn.. I knew there was a motive behind this. Just didn't see it for looking.

[henryd]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

[omega3000]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

 

[05omegav6]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

In Lincolnshire... as if you need to ask

[biggriffin]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

Me brothers me cousin me nephew me uncle who me dad.

[omegod]

Amazing how the conservatory acted as a shock absorber, could have been the gable end taking the brunt otherwise. Close call that !

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

Says the man who lives in a county where shacking up with your sister is the norm.

I'll have you know that my arse is strictly  'exit only'....

[cnj]

all here wish you what you would want to wish yourselves. we hope that delayed shock doesn't kick in and all will go smoothly from here !

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

all here wish you what you would want to wish yourselves. we hope that delayed shock doesn't kick in and all will go smoothly from here !

Thanks. I seem to be OK......The wife less so.

[henryd]

I wonder if this is the first time Opti has had his back doors smashed in

Says the man who lives in a county where shacking up with your sister is the norm.

I'll have you know that my arse is strictly  'exit only'....

Proper job that is