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[STEMO]

If you receive an email titled ding dong, don't open it. It's the Jehovas Witnesses working from home.

[scimmy_man]

work is quiet so just had a call from a mate, shall we self isolate in a wood locally with a shotgun each to do a bit of "shopping"

pigeon pie tonight

[Sir Tigger KC]

work is quiet so just had a call from a mate, shall we self isolate in a wood locally with a shotgun each to do a bit of "shopping"

pigeon pie tonight

Great idea and you'll be doing a service to the community as well in relieving pressure on the supermarkets! 

While you're there, you can pick dock leaves as a bog roll substitute. 

[scimmy_man]

sat there in a hide for a couple of hours, nothing moving, apart from dog walkers and people wandering through crops, 

[dave the builder]

sat there in a hide for a couple of hours, nothing moving, apart from dog walkers and people wandering through crops, 

They taste like pork apparently  cook thoroughly to kill the "chinese virus" though   

[Viral_Jim]

I bet there'd be a few needing to dig into their toilet paper reserves if you'd fired anywhere near them 

[STEMO]

From the BBC:
Martin Hewitt, head of the National Police Chief's Council, said the UK was in a "national emergency, not a national holiday" .
The NPCC said going to local beauty spots was not banned as long as there was no mingling.



Ello, ello, ello. Were you avin a mingle there? Move along, or we'll it you wiv our truncheons. 

[dave the builder]

I don't understand why the rozzers are stopping cars
people still need to shop etc .
a car is a bubble till you start winding windows down and asking questions 
concentrate on making sure people walking about coughing stay away from each other , while i pick stuff up 
had 2 muppets right in the face of the Chemists assistant when collecting stuff for the oldies
 (Que system taking orders while all staying 2 meters apart)
but then you say" hello, social distancing" and you realize how thick some people really are  when they reply "yes  BUT ...." 

[Sir Tigger KC]

I went to Tesco today and they have a two out, two in policy and we're all 'coralled' airport style with markings on the ground two metres apart in the car park.

There was a bloke started to kick off, and the security guys didn't mess about just told him to go or they'd call the Police.  So off he went yelling and carrying on like the idiot he is. 

[STEMO]

Asda had arrows in a one way system around the shop. I missed the turn off for eggs and had to go right round again. 

[Sir Tigger KC]

Asda had arrows in a one way system around the shop. I missed the turn off for eggs and had to go right round again. 

They had eggs?       

[STEMO]

Asda had arrows in a one way system around the shop. I missed the turn off for eggs and had to go right round again. 

They had eggs?       

No 

[dave the builder]

They had eggs?       

No 
[/quote]
want me to PM you some 

[Raeturbo]

It’s about time they enforced a one way system in supermarkets, bloody folk going up and down everywhere I suggest no parking up whist in the isles procrastinating what to buy, and people talking and blocking the though route. A 20 second stop not more than 21 time’s per shopping expedition that is stiffly monitored with offenders chucked out after their second warning, that’s seven minutes, that’s plenty......get in, get out, go the correct way around, no parking or stopping then piss off home

[STEMO]

They had eggs?       

No 

want me to PM you some 
[/quote]
I have some inside my iPad 🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

🥚🍳🥓🍞 mmmmmmmm 😋