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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

 Page 72.....paragraph 3.....and I quote.

"All forum members who contribute 20,000 posts or more will be entitled to a Vauxhall motor car of their choice, free of charge". No exceptions.

Either of the humble Vauxhall models in the video below will suffice.

So, get your finger out TB. I may be all goodness and light but I have a litigious nature.

Shall we say a maximum of 7 days for delivery to take place?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt6pY3IzPgU&t=204s

[Shackeng]

And your post count was?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

And your post count was?

Page 72 .....paragraph 5 states.....

"Should a post count be tampered with the instigator will spend 6 months sharing a cell with Big Winston"

[Bigron]

We really do get a better class of bullsh*t on here! 

Ron.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

We really do get a better class of bullsh*t on here! 

Ron.

Do you not have a copy of OOF terms and conditions, Ron?

[TheBoy]

I'd wager you've never even read the terms .  I bet you haven't even read the rules either

[Varche]

Can i have a half of one nowwith the other half in ten more years

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I'd wager you've never even read the terms . I bet you haven't even read the rules either

Yes I have.

No swearing. No sexism.

And I can honestly say I have never broken a single rule.

I believe in political correctness at all times. Just like sexy Shami.

[Bigron]

We really do get a better class of bullsh*t on here! 

Ron.

Do you not have a copy of OOF terms and conditions, Ron?

Of course I do, but it is lodged firmly underneath my personal copy of Space Corps Directive Volume 2020, so I cannot consult it right now.

Ron.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

We really do get a better class of bullsh*t on here! 

Ron.

Do you not have a copy of OOF terms and conditions, Ron?

Of course I do, but it is lodged firmly underneath my personal copy of Space Corps Directive Volume 2020, so I cannot consult it right now.

Ron.

 Page 7 paragraph 6 clearly states.

If a member is over seventy and lives in Essex OOF funds will provide for an Essex girl called Tracy or Sharon to sit on your face.

It's all there in black and white.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Is that punishment or reward? 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Is that punishment or reward? 

I don't think old Ron will know the difference.

[Bigron]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

[Doctor Gollum]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

Being born on February 29th can be such a mixed blessing... 

[Bigron]

Oi!

Ron. 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

Christ Ron, you've had an ever harder life than me then. 

[BazaJT]

Didn't they also try out a Ventora based racer called Big Bertha?

[BigWinston]

And your post count was?

Page 72 .....paragraph 5 states.....

"Should a post count be tampered with the instigator will spend 6 months sharing a cell with Big Winston"

You called sweetheart

[Nick W]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

Being born on February 29th can be such a mixed blessing... 

Yes, six years ago we had a combined party for my aunt's 65th, my sister's 40th and our mother's 18th birthdays.

[Rods2]

Dr Opti quote: "Page 72.....paragraph 3.....and I quote". Oh dear, oh deary me.

That is all very well but there is a very good reason NONE of us have ever quoted the OOF t&c's on here and if you had gone on to read the small print part which begins at paragraph 69 you would see it quite clearly stated that ALL OOF terms and conditions are top secret and must never be quoted on the OOF website. TB gets to choose from three penalties for breaking this:
1. TB uses you to zero the sights on his cull gun weekly on a Sunday after church for the next year or until the zeroed bullet hits you square between the eyes.
2. You share a cell with big Winston for 1 year with TB providing him with hourly glucose, Viagra and coke injections  so he will be at it 24/7 for 365 days.
3.You turn over all property and chattels over to TB within 7 days of the offence, which includes all vehicles.

Now if TB is one of those liberal do gooder sorts he will probably let you off for a first offence  if not then he will pick at least one of them and if he is in a bad mood he will throw the book at you for all three unless you appease him. Now I've heard but can't confirm that an endless supply of magic tree air fresheners and a weekly supply of Mama Mia 1 & 2 cinema tickets will commute the sentence, so best give it a try although those offering such delightful bribery before have unfortunately have never been seen again hence I can't confirm it works.

[TheBoy]

And your post count was?

Page 72 .....paragraph 5 states.....

"Should a post count be tampered with the instigator will spend 6 months sharing a cell with Big Winston"

You called sweetheart

You bastard! You promised you'd call me, following our liaison, but never did.

[TheBoy]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

Being born on February 29th can be such a mixed blessing... 

Yes, six years ago we had a combined party for my aunt's 65th, my sister's 40th and our mother's 18th birthdays.

How does that work legally?  Presumably her legal age is the number of years shes lived?

[TheBoy]

3.You turn over all property and chattels over to TB within 7 days of the offence, which includes all vehicles.

Because I'm a Liberal Leftie, I'll let Opti keep the Vectrum...

[Nick W]

How can any of that apply to me? I'm only 29! 

Ron.

Being born on February 29th can be such a mixed blessing... 

Yes, six years ago we had a combined party for my aunt's 65th, my sister's 40th and our mother's 18th birthdays.

How does that work legally?  Presumably her legal age is the number of years shes lived?

She was 72 years old, but only had 18 birthdays.

[ronnyd]

Fours into seventy two is ?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Fours into seventy two is ?

18.

[TheBoy]

She was 72 years old, but only had 18 birthdays.

Yes, makes perfect sense.

For a minute, I was thinking she has only just been allowed into pubs

[Nick W]

She was 72 years old, but only had 18 birthdays.

Yes, makes perfect sense.

For a minute, I was thinking she has only just been allowed into pubs

That's not a consideration when you come from a strict Methodist family.....