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[STEMO]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

[Marks DTM Calib]

12 minutes and 34 seconds?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Pies are full of bull scrotum and unexplained 'connective tissue' so you probably had a lucky escape.

Make yourself a nice lentil sandwich instead.  

[STEMO]

12 minutes and 34 seconds?

Is this a phishing post? 

[STEMO]

Pies are full of bull scrotum and unexplained 'connective tissue' so you probably had a lucky escape.

Make yourself a nice lentil sandwich instead.

Bull scrotum you say? Sounds delicious, yum yum. 

[2boxerdogs]

Never touch pies ,I know what goes in them having had to work in a well known manufacturers factory for a short while, absolute shite. Home made yes shop bought never ever ,same goes for sausage rolls.

[TheBoy]

I can't get downstairs to make anything. Mrs TB has only left me oranges up here to eat.

Gonna be shitting through eye of a needle later, I reckon.

[Doctor Gollum]

At least you took it out of the foil tray, otherwise you might not have had a down stairs to come down to...

[zirk]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

That might explain why I have to wait 8 minutes to get my Cash out of the ATM.

I did put some Frankfurters in the Microwave once, set it to 40 mins, thinking it was 4, after about 20 mins released what had happened, open the microwave, nothing, gone, no frankfurters.....  on closer inspection the sausages had blown into tiny mush and stuck themselves all over the microwave walls. 

[TheBoy]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

That might explain why I have to wait 8 minutes to get my Cash out of the ATM.

I did put some Frankfurters in the Microwave once, set it to 40 mins, thinking it was 4, after about 20 mins released what had happened, open the microwave, nothing, gone, no frankfurters.....  on closer inspection the sausages had blown into tiny mush and stuck themselves all over the microwave walls. 

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

[TD]

At least you took it out of the foil tray, otherwise you might not have had a down stairs to come down to...

Probably would have been ok on a round pie as you can put foil in a microwave, as long as its no where near the sides.

Ive got a 'grilling plate' for my microwave, well its actually two metal plates that clamp either side of the food.
Insert 2 rashes of bacon, microwave for 2/3 mins, bacon done and browned as well 

[TD]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

That might explain why I have to wait 8 minutes to get my Cash out of the ATM.

I did put some Frankfurters in the Microwave once, set it to 40 mins, thinking it was 4, after about 20 mins released what had happened, open the microwave, nothing, gone, no frankfurters.....  on closer inspection the sausages had blown into tiny mush and stuck themselves all over the microwave walls. 

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

I learnt many moons ago that cooking when back from the pub is a bad idea 
Takeaway is far safer 

[amazonian]

How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Just as well you didnt put your age in, the whole street may have burnt down!

                           

                             

[zirk]

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

I learnt many moons ago that cooking when back from the pub is a bad idea 
Takeaway is far safer 

One Friday Night absolutely smashed, I picked up a Kebab walking back from the Pub, went to bed, slept like a baby, woke up, stinking hangover, didn't remember much about anything, lying there trying to plunk up the energy and strength to go to the loo, remember kept thinking to myself, what is that smell?, eventually pulled the covers off to get up and, screamed like a baby, looked like I'd been shot in the chest overnight with a 12 Bore Shotgun,  , dried kebab and red chili sauce stuck all over my chest 

[STEMO]

As usual, I must thank you all for your sympathy and understanding 

[Andy B]

We used to have a combined micro-wave & convection oven. SWMBO one put a pie in & microwaved it for half an hour ...... 

[STEMO]

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

I learnt many moons ago that cooking when back from the pub is a bad idea 
Takeaway is far safer 

One Friday Night absolutely smashed, I picked up a Kebab walking back from the Pub, went to bed, slept like a baby, woke up, stinking hangover, didn't remember much about anything, lying there trying to plunk up the energy and strength to go to the loo, remember kept thinking to myself, what is that smell?, eventually pulled the covers off to get up and, screamed like a baby, looked like I'd been shot in the chest overnight with a 12 Bore Shotgun,  , dried kebab and red chili sauce stuck all over my chest 

You wanna try drinking a whole bottle of advocaat (cos there's nowt else left) at 16 years of age. I couldn't even separate my head from the pillow next morning. Had to shout for my mum to come up with a bowl of hot water.
I did look a tool going to the bog holding a pillow to the side of my head.

[Andy B]

...
I did look a tool going to the bog holding a pillow to the side of my head.

 

[Varche]

Fantastic thread. Lovely honesty.

My two microwave stories are just entrees in comparison.

The first was at a friends house when he said he would do us soft boiled eggs in his new microwave.

The second was me cooking jacket potatoes in a hurry. Pricked them and microwaved for a few minutes on high. then in the oven. Still not going to be ready in time, so back in the microwave. The pricked holes muct have filled up in the oven as after a few minutes tow BUMPF's in quick succession. Not potatoes just crud all over the walls of the microwave.

[Shackeng]

Not a MW story but similar. An Air Signaller on a Nimrod decided to warm himself a can of soup in the convector oven. Some time later, our Sqn CO went back to make himself a sandwich, while doing so, there was an explosion and he was nearly crippled as the oven door blew off and struck him in the back. Obviously this was considered an extremely intelligent and brave act by the guilty one who failed to pierce the can, as he was later retrained and became a fighter pilot!

[ronnyd]

Also not a MW incident, but SWMBO didn,t fit the top of the pressure cooker on quite right, (was the old Tefal type with a locking bar across the top). Flew off as pressure grew and lid embedded in ceiling. Potato everywhere and also had stippled ceiling so couldn,t see which was spud and which was stipple.

[TheBoy]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

That might explain why I have to wait 8 minutes to get my Cash out of the ATM.

I did put some Frankfurters in the Microwave once, set it to 40 mins, thinking it was 4, after about 20 mins released what had happened, open the microwave, nothing, gone, no frankfurters.....  on closer inspection the sausages had blown into tiny mush and stuck themselves all over the microwave walls. 

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

I learnt many moons ago that cooking when back from the pub is a bad idea 
Takeaway is far safer 

Trouble is, and 1980s Aylesburians will have sympathy, the only nightclub was Rectory Farm - a good 30min stagger from town - and kicking out was 2am, 2hrs after the Sun Sun - the only takeaway open until midnight - closed.


Also, Rectory Farm was the guaranteed place for a smooch, dance, fondle, and on good days, dipping your wick....


Ahhhh, the 80s in Aylesbury.


By the 90s, it was nip into The Lounge, drag some meat back to St Marys churchyard for a nibble, then go into McDonalds...  ...or if still early, back to The Lounge for another.

[Shackeng]

I put a pie in the microwave for my lunch, set the timer and went upstairs to put something away. Got a bit distracted but no matter, pie will still be warm. Came back down, eventually, to the smell of something nasty. Pie was still rotating and had started to smoke. WTF?
How? Why? Hmmmm......then it dawned on me. I had put the PIN that unlocks my iPad into the microwave keypad and pressed start.

Getting worse. 

That might explain why I have to wait 8 minutes to get my Cash out of the ATM.

I did put some Frankfurters in the Microwave once, set it to 40 mins, thinking it was 4, after about 20 mins released what had happened, open the microwave, nothing, gone, no frankfurters.....  on closer inspection the sausages had blown into tiny mush and stuck themselves all over the microwave walls. 

Years ago, my landlord and I got back from a gentlemens evening out, feeling peckish, so put some bangers under the grill...

...woke up several hours later to a very foggy living room 

I learnt many moons ago that cooking when back from the pub is a bad idea 
Takeaway is far safer 

Trouble is, and 1980s Aylesburians will have sympathy, the only nightclub was Rectory Farm - a good 30min stagger from town - and kicking out was 2am, 2hrs after the Sun Sun - the only takeaway open until midnight - closed.


Also, Rectory Farm was the guaranteed place for a smooch, dance, fondle, and on good days, dipping your wick....


Ahhhh, the 80s in Aylesbury.


By the 90s, it was nip into The Lounge, drag some meat back to St Marys churchyard for a nibble, then go into McDonalds...  ...or if still early, back to The Lounge for another.

Not as good as the '60's with the Bull's Head next door to the Grosvenor (Market Square) on Trad Jazz nights. 

[TheBoy]

Not as good as the '60's with the Bull's Head next door to the Grosvenor (Market Square) on Trad Jazz nights. 

I wasn't even a twinkle in dad's eye Shack .  In fact, I think the Bulls Head was pulled down before I was born.

[Shackeng]

Not as good as the '60's with the Bull's Head next door to the Grosvenor (Market Square) on Trad Jazz nights. 

I wasn't even a twinkle in dad's eye Shack .  In fact, I think the Bulls Head was pulled down before I was born.

Yes we were most upset when it went, in the late '60's I think.

[STEMO]

Not as good as the '60's with the Bull's Head next door to the Grosvenor (Market Square) on Trad Jazz nights. 

I wasn't even a twinkle in dad's eye Shack .  In fact, I think the Bulls Head was pulled down before I was born.

Yes we were most upset when it went, in the late '60's I think.

Nearly fifty years ago then. 

[Shackeng]

Not as good as the '60's with the Bull's Head next door to the Grosvenor (Market Square) on Trad Jazz nights. 

I wasn't even a twinkle in dad's eye Shack .  In fact, I think the Bulls Head was pulled down before I was born.

Yes we were most upset when it went, in the late '60's I think.

Nearly fifty years ago then. 

Surely not?

[Shackeng]

With a friend, I used to go to the Jazz Club in Aylesbury from RAF Abingdon every Tuesday when possible, and I am not proud to say that we used to drink and drive! On arrival we would pop into the Bull's Head for a few pints before our visit to the Jazz Club next door in the hope of pulling. (I did meet my wife there, so it wasn't a total failure!)
One night as we stood at the bar of the Bull's head, a small chap came in from the Club and sank a quick couple of pints with whiskey chasers.
" Any good in there tonight?" Sez I.
" Not really", he said.
When we got in, I discovered, to my mortification, that I had been speaking to Monty Sunshine, Chris Barber's clarinettist.