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Author Topic: a question for everybody..  (Read 2055 times)

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denisaok

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a question for everybody..
« on: 05 April 2008, 22:31:06 »

Would you get into a relationship with someone who wants children when you know you do not want any/anymore children?  Is it worth it?

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To ask a question and feel idiotic for a moment is better than not to ask and be idiotic for a life time.

Entwood

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #1 on: 05 April 2008, 22:34:39 »

NO .. it's unfair to lie, and not a good basis for a decent relationship... no relationship will work without honesty by both parties
« Last Edit: 05 April 2008, 22:35:58 by entwood »
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maria

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #2 on: 05 April 2008, 22:37:18 »

Well it would be if you loved that person but you would have too both talk about it  ::)
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Richie London

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #3 on: 05 April 2008, 22:37:25 »

i couldnt go through it again and would have to be honest and say so. not fair on the other person if thats what they want.

richie
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maria

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #4 on: 05 April 2008, 22:38:32 »

Well i do see your point ifs that the case
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FRE07962128

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #5 on: 05 April 2008, 22:46:11 »

Quote
Would you get into a relationship with someone who wants children when you know you do not want any/anymore children?  Is it worth it?


Simply no from a womens point of view.  One of the partnership is going to always feel let down and shortchanged.  Lizzie Zoom  :- :-[
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Martin_1962

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #6 on: 06 April 2008, 00:08:01 »

Quote
Would you get into a relationship with someone who wants children when you know you do not want any/anymore children?  Is it worth it?



Depends - if you are young and childless do it. If you have them and old don't.

The reason a lot of people don't want them is because they are not settled
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Bacon Butty Man

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #7 on: 06 April 2008, 00:12:46 »

Quote
Would you get into a relationship with someone who wants children when you know you do not want any/anymore children?  Is it worth it?


children ARE ALWAYS WORTH IT< WHEN YOU LOOK DOWN AT THEIR FACE< THATS THE MEANING OF LIFE :exclamation :exclamation :exclamation :exclamation :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y
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amigov6

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #8 on: 06 April 2008, 00:26:53 »

Does this question involve those who've already had children but don't want anymore? I enjoyed Fatherhood & parenting but that's enough for me now. You only have so many "stages" in life ie childhood, adolesence, parenthood....would like some me time before Grandparenthood.
    Besides i'm a brilliant Uncle!!!!!!!!!! 8-)
   Regarding the original question, NO. Regardless of how much you love her if you don't have kids she'll always want them deep down, or if you went along with it to keep her, that would be as bad.
   A Mother or Father should never be a reluctant parent, you BOTH have to want kids, it's them you have to consider not just eachother.
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dad1uk

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #9 on: 06 April 2008, 06:25:18 »

It would take a lot of thinking.... it could be a recipe for disaster if both parties don't want the same things in life!
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Martin_1962

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #10 on: 06 April 2008, 10:02:15 »

Reason I said what I did as when I got married children were the last thing on my mind.
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Big_Al

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #11 on: 06 April 2008, 10:09:59 »

You have to be honest -surely all relationships are built on that foundation  :)
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Debs.

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #12 on: 06 April 2008, 10:19:38 »

Quote
Reason I said what I did as when I got married children were the last thing on my mind.

I think that`s an honest and quite common feeling for men....
Often, circumstantial-pressure leads to couples starting a family; as it`s often only the woman who feels the 'need' and leads the way (as it were).

My feeling is that having a family is a 'full-time' occupation in itself; certainly not one for the feint-hearted or undecided.
Happy, stable and fulfilling partnerships can be made with or without children; therefore starting a family should not be considered the only reason to get-together/marry.....but once here: children must/should/do come first, transcending anything that`s gone before, it`s nature`s way!.  ;)
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HolyCount

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #13 on: 06 April 2008, 11:51:36 »

Well ... when I got married again, my kids were all grown up and starting their own lives ... I had had the snip and wasn't that keen on starting again. I was totally up front with my partner and she was happy to go without kids --- but after a few years both outlooks changed and we decided to give it a go and see if we could get the old pipes working again ( the snip was one thing -- the reversal an entirely different matter -- still hurts when I think about it now !!!).

After a year of "trying", no luck, so we decided to adopt. Went through all the interviews and vetting and started the obligatory workshop courses ---- 3 months later we ( well one of us) were pregnant!!!

After the customary baking time of 9 months out popped Oliver --- it's hard sometimes getting the energy to chase him around -- but I wouldn't swap it for the world.

The point to this rambling is .. be upfront from the start ( honesty is a "Must" IMO ) but "never say never"   :)
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Danny

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Re:  a question for everybody..
« Reply #14 on: 06 April 2008, 11:57:32 »

Quote
Would you get into a relationship with someone who wants children when you know you do not want any/anymore children?  Is it worth it?


No, I dont think it would be fair on either of us if I definately didn't want children and she did, however, there's no saying that in 5-10 years I may have changed my mind, being as i'm still only a puppy myself!
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