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[STEMO]

What's goin on with the beans? I buy the four pack, and the last three or four packs have been about one third sauce. Runny, watery sauce at that. Adjust something or hit someone or something.
Thank you.

[Andy B]

I'll let them know ..... 

I've been off the last coupe of weeks, so not to blame 

[Steve B]

Watched a programme about heinz..The plant up north..It was that boldy bloke with the big gob doing it...
I found it very interesting ...Surprised to find out the beans are cooked in a sealed tin .

[Andy B]

Watched a programme about heinz

Inside the Factory 
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b07nwlvg/inside-the-factory-series-2-3-baked-beans

..The plant up north..

Aye .... in Wigan 

It was that boldy bloke with the big gob doing it...

Greg Wallace .... I was on a rest day when they came but apparently he's equally as odious in the flesh as he is on the telly.

I found it very interesting ...

Surprised to find out the beans are cooked in a sealed tin .

Indeed .... and not a single bean is baked 
Actually they are blanched first before they are put in the tin, then the sauce is added the lid & then cooked in the tin in a 5 pass cooker/cooler (most are anyway  )

[Steve B]

Yep that is the one Andy 

[dave the builder]

most tinned food is cooked in a sealed tin
is Andy's job to put beans in the top third of the tin ? 

[Andy B]

.....
is Andy's job to put beans in the top third of the tin ? 

I put them in the middle third 

[Andy B]

Some of the really old kit has recently gone. The factory was opened in 1959 & it's only a couple of years ago that an original mixer was chucked out. Some of the originally conveyor motors are still on site though not used & they're monsters.

Filling lines vary in speed from 500 cans per minute (apart from the 92oz catering cans that are about 30 cans per min to the newest line that should have been commissioned Sept 2017 (and is still ongoing) that has a target of 1200 cans per min ... we're nearly there 

[STEMO]

most tinned food is cooked in a sealed tin
is Andy's job to put beans in the top third of the tin ? 

My sister, who is in her fifties, has worked for John Lewis for years. The shoe department where she works has been quiet recently, so they moved her to a different role for a while.
Ready for this? They sell tins of quality street with whatever type of mix you want in them, so she spends all day filling the tins (plastic tubs nowadays) with the sweets that the customers ask for. I told her she should tell them to shove it, the bastards. But, of course, she needs the job. 

[Doctor Gollum]

Tell her to stick it out until they pay her redundancy.

[STEMO]

Tell her to stick it out until they pay her redundancy.

That might not be too far down the line.
I hope it's not for another year though, I'm four years into a five year guarantee on one of my tellies 

[Sir Tigger KC]

If the beans are cooked in a tin, how come the tin dosn't explode?   

[Doctor Gollum]

Magic

Presumably they are packed with a volume that allows just enough room for expansion... That said, if cooked longer at a lower temperature, this would become less of a problem 

[Andy B]

....
My sister, who is in her fifties, has worked for John Lewis for years. The shoe department where she works has been quiet recently, so they moved her to a different role for a while.
Ready for this? They sell tins of quality street with whatever type of mix you want in them, so she spends all day filling the tins (plastic tubs nowadays) with the sweets that the customers ask for. I told her she should tell them to shove it, the bastards. But, of course, she needs the job. 

Did I say I contracted at Nestles/Rowntrees at Halifax years ago? ..... I actually enjoyed the job but the money that Nestles paid rather than the contractors paid wasn't enough. 

[Kevin Wood]

.....
is Andy's job to put beans in the top third of the tin ? 

I put them in the middle third 

Yeah - don't ask what he puts in the top third.

[zirk]

Its not the Beans fault, there just scared, they bunch up to each other and squash together and therefore give the appearance that a can is only two thirds full.

Free Range Beans is the answer, a Free Range Bean is a Happy Bean. 

[dave the builder]

Are you saying we should all set our magic beans free ?

[Andy B]

.....
is Andy's job to put beans in the top third of the tin ? 

I put them in the middle third 

Yeah - don't ask what he puts in the top third.

 

[Varche]

Andy as you are our beans expert but anyone else might know too,

What is the answer to how many beans makes five?

This was a popular and irritating question adults asked children back in the early 60’s. Then they thought the answer was hilarious. I suspect it was on a tv show at the time.

[Andy B]

Andy as you are our beans expert but anyone else might know too,

What is the answer to how many beans makes five?

This was a popular and irritating question adults asked children back in the early 60’s. Then they thought the answer was hilarious. I suspect it was on a tv show at the time.

I had to Google it ....  https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=how%2bmany%2bbeans%2bmake%2bfive&amp=true

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

[Andy B]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans? 

[Sir Tigger KC]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans?

Do they come out of the same factory?   

[Varche]

Andy as you are our beans expert but anyone else might know too,

What is the answer to how many beans makes five?

This was a popular and irritating question adults asked children back in the early 60’s. Then they thought the answer was hilarious. I suspect it was on a tv show at the time.

I had to Google it ....  https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=how%2bmany%2bbeans%2bmake%2bfive&amp=true

Hey ups Andy. You can put that on your CV. The answer we had when we were young was along the lines of :

a bean , a bean , half a bean and so on....

Anyone?

[Varche]

Google is my friend

Number lore has survived in ways in folk-lore, rhymes and riddles. The bean riddle is, in fact a mnemonic for remembering the sacred decade. The correct answer is: two beans and a bean, a bean and a half and half a bean. Each bean is composed of two parts, and it's these that are the units for the tetractys, the equilateral triangle formed from the ten units to the formula 1+2+3+4=10

Who knew beans could be so interesting.

[Andy B]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans?

Do they come out of the same factory?   

Same bean ..... different sauce 

[Andy B]

Google is my friend

Number lore has survived in ways in folk-lore, rhymes and riddles. The bean riddle is, in fact a mnemonic for remembering the sacred decade. The correct answer is: two beans and a bean, a bean and a half and half a bean. Each bean is composed of two parts, and it's these that are the units for the tetractys, the equilateral triangle formed from the ten units to the formula 1+2+3+4=10

Who knew beans could be so interesting.

You've lost me ..... 

[Terbs]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans?

Do they come out of the same factory?   

Same bean ..... different sauce 

Many, many years ago, I worked for a sweet manufacturer in High Wycombe. We made Sherbert Lemons, and they all came through the machine into sweet jars.......the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

[dave the builder]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans?

Do they come out of the same factory?   

Same bean ..... different sauce 

Many, many years ago, I worked for a sweet manufacturer in High Wycombe. We made Sherbert Lemons, and they all came through the machine into sweet jars.......the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

BUT
Andy puts his "special bean juice"  in the heinz cans 

[Andy B]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans?

Do they come out of the same factory?   

Same bean ..... different sauce 

Many, many years ago, I worked for a sweet manufacturer in High Wycombe. We made Sherbert Lemons, and they all came through the machine into sweet jars.......the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

BUT
Andy puts his "special bean juice"  in the heinz cans 

   

[Andy B]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

1971 or before.

I remember in the run up to decimalisation everything was double-priced.

I had a fountain pen marked 15/- and 75p.

It was to help out the elderly and easily confused.

[STEMO]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

1971 or before.

I remember in the run up to decimalisation everything was double-priced.

I had a fountain pen marked 15/- and 75p.

It was to help out the elderly and easily confused.

And everything was upped to the nearest £1. So 19s 10d/11d became £1, except in the 99p shop. 

[ronnyd]

Heinz beanz are soft soggy shite. In blind tests they come nowhere.

Unless they are being sold at 4 tins for a quid I won't touch them.

you're not a fan then .....  What about HP beans? 

Aldi beans are good. Don,t get Sainsbury ones, they,re like bullets.

[Terbs]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

Indeed, Andy.....1963 in fact

[Andy B]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

Indeed, Andy.....1963 in fact

Not that I'm trying to make you feel old, but I was 1 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

........the first lot we labelled Taylors at 6d per quarter, and the next lot were labelled Trebor at 9d per quarter. Total rip off

That's going back a bit then 

Indeed, Andy.....1963 in fact

Not that I'm trying to make you feel old, but I was 1 

1963.......I believe something unpleasant happened to the POTUS.

[TheBoy]

Andy as you are our beans expert but anyone else might know too,

What is the answer to how many beans makes five?

This was a popular and irritating question adults asked children back in the early 60’s. Then they thought the answer was hilarious. I suspect it was on a tv show at the time.

I was always taught:

2 beans
Half a bean
A bean and a half
And a bean


But the shermans do it slightly different.

[TheBoy]

And there is only one Beanz. Anything else is shite.

[TheBoy]

Just checked with Mrs TB, and she has confirmed that Beanz Meanz Heinz.  End of.


Anyone who disagrees is wrong. You know it, I know it, my mum's dog knows it.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Just checked with Mrs TB, and she has confirmed that Beanz Meanz Heinz.  End of.


Anyone who disagrees is wrong. You know it, I know it, my mum's dog knows it.

Nah......Heinz beans are soggy tasteless shite.

I believe you like KFC so you are hardly an authority on fine food.

[TheBoy]

Don't dis The Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices.  Their beans are shite though.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Just checked with Mrs TB, and she has confirmed that Beanz Meanz Heinz.  End of.


Anyone who disagrees is wrong. You know it, I know it, my mum's dog knows it.

It's really not a good idea to put a tin of beans through a mutt.

The consequences don't don't bear thinking about.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Don't dis The Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices.  Their beans are shite though.

OK......so soggy beanz and stringy chicken float your boat.

[Andy B]

And there is only one Beanz. Anything else is shite.

 

[TheBoy]

Don't dis The Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices.  Their beans are shite though.

OK......so soggy beanz and stringy chicken float your boat.

I've had a fair amount of crap chicken from KFC in my time, but never stringy.

Now, American McDonalds chicken <whatever they call nuggets/dippers there> are horrible, stringy crap.

[Andy B]

Don't dis The Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices.  Their beans are shite though.

  Guess who make their beans ..... 

though I've no idea if the recipe differs from that of normal beanz 

[omegod]

Do you get free beans Andy ?

[Andy B]

Do you get free beans Andy ?

No. And there's hardly ever any in the Company Shop either 

[ronnyd]

Is it windy round there? 

[Andy B]

Is it windy round there? 

No ... never 

[Rods2]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

[Shackeng]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

Are you one of the 'tards I always seem to find delaying me at the checkout pawing through their wallet for an - out of date - voucher that Tesco have sent for stuff they know that you buy, but instead of just giving you the discount at the checkout, they arrange it just to delay customers who might be stupid enough to buy something else from the checkout stand while they are waiting completely unnecessarily?
Rant over.

[STEMO]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

Have you fickin heard yourself? 
God, what a boring episode.

[Rods2]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

Are you one of the 'tards I always seem to find delaying me at the checkout pawing through their wallet for an - out of date - voucher that Tesco have sent for stuff they know that you buy, but instead of just giving you the discount at the checkout, they arrange it just to delay customers who might be stupid enough to buy something else from the checkout stand while they are waiting completely unnecessarily?
Rant over.

No, I'm a shopping list dash round a store person, doing a trolly slalom around the old pensioners like STEMO crawling along as they hang on to their trolly handle with a grim death white knuckle grip, finished, chuck it on the checkout belt, chuck it in the trolly (this is the high productivity Aldi & lidl way, which I like) as swiped through the checkout, remote Tesco club card sorted, voucher in shirt pocket given, debit card paid and out. I like to get on with life, not dawdle, like SWMBO who always gets lost where I insist in taking charge of the trolly and going at my speed, her job is to keep up. I've made the mistake before in letting SWMBO do the shopping and she only buys what she likes.

[TheBoy]

You're still all wrong. The only Beanz comes in a gayish blue labelled tin.

[Andy B]

You're still all wrong. The only Beanz comes in a gayish blue labelled tin.

 

(and those white catering 92oz cans with a picture of Col Sanders  )

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

Have you fickin heard yourself? 
God, what a boring episode.

Your initial question was "What's going on with beans?"

How exciting did you think the response would be.

[Rods2]

Rarely buy expensive brands. My local Lidl & Aldi don't do low sugar & salt beans, so stock up at Tesco with their own brand at 4 for £1 where they entice me to shop there several times a year with 1 x 15% off & 2 x 10% vouchers, based on a minimum spend which I have no problem reaching for between 1 & 3 shopping trips to use them like their own brand coffee which is as good as Nescafe etc, etc. on things that Lidl & Aldi don't sell or is a poor imitation.

Have you fickin heard yourself? 
God, what a boring episode.

Your initial question was "What's going on with beans?"

How exciting did you think the response would be.

Next time he needs to make the question: "What's going on with women's beach volleyball?" and provide some links to examples and that will elicit much racier answers.

[Andy B]

You're still all wrong. The only Beanz comes in a gayish blue labelled tin.

Just for The Boy .....