Omega Owners Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Welcome to OOF

Pages: 1 ... 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 [77]   Go Down

Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 475498 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Raeturbo

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • South Wales
  • Posts: 7328
    • Mv6 3.2 Mitsi Evo2. XJ8
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1140 on: 15 November 2023, 00:10:19 »
Old but priceless   ;D
Logged
Laying a rubber road.

dave the builder

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Derbyshire
  • Posts: 7769
    • omega b2 2.6 cdxi
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1141 on: 02 December 2023, 18:21:32 »
No salting the roads or gritters this year

"BLACK ICE matters"
Logged

dave the builder

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Derbyshire
  • Posts: 7769
    • omega b2 2.6 cdxi
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1142 on: 24 December 2023, 10:41:21 »
During the Covid 19 lock-down ,If you had family round at Christmas , Police could force entry and make them go home .

Does anybody know if this service is still available , and if you have to book in advance ?   :-\
Logged

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 13630
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1143 on: 28 December 2023, 23:52:08 »
Did you heaar about the dyslexic Devil Worshipper who sold his soul To Santa
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 13630
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1144 on: 03 January 2024, 23:59:41 »
Dry January is dragging on a bit
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Sir Tigger KC

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • West Dorset
  • Posts: 23477
    • 2 Fords
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1145 on: 06 January 2024, 11:54:22 »
Logged
RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1075
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1146 on: 05 March 2024, 19:29:00 »
It’s now been six months since I joined the gym and still I see no improvements. I’ll have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what the problem is.
Logged

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1075
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1147 on: 10 March 2024, 17:53:07 »
I joined a nudist colony a few weeks ago… first few days were the hardest.

The owner of Dulux has been found dead from hypothermia… police said he needed another coat.
Logged

Sir Tigger KC

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • West Dorset
  • Posts: 23477
    • 2 Fords
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1148 on: 15 March 2024, 13:24:56 »
A blonde goes to the Doctors.

Doctor, why do I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina?

The amused Doctor replied, Those aren't postage stamps, they're the stickers you'll see on bananas!
Logged
RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......

Sir Tigger KC

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • West Dorset
  • Posts: 23477
    • 2 Fords
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1149 on: 30 March 2024, 14:00:37 »
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterward, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."
Logged
RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......

ronnyd

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bury St Edmunds Suffolk
  • Posts: 8619
    • Vectra 1.8 SRI Silver
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1150 on: 30 March 2024, 18:00:09 »
She was being a bit hard boiled.  ;)
Logged

STEMO

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8348
    • Astra 1.6 diesel
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1151 on: 30 March 2024, 18:36:25 »
Quote from: Sir Tigger KC on 30 March 2024, 14:00:37
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterward, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."
A twenty second boiled egg? Yuk.
Logged
Diesel till I die

Raeturbo

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • South Wales
  • Posts: 7328
    • Mv6 3.2 Mitsi Evo2. XJ8
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1152 on: 30 March 2024, 18:46:19 »
Pity she wasn’t cooking a Christmas pudding🤣
Logged
Laying a rubber road.
Pages: 1 ... 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 [77]   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Page created in 0.033 seconds with 23 queries.