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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Any idea?

I've tried normal car polish and even T Cut which is obviously more abrasive. Can still see a visible 'scar' left in the paint though.

[Doctor Gollum]

G3 followed by Autoglym resin polish followed by the extra shine top polish

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

G3 followed by Autoglym resin polish followed by the extra shine top polish

Ah.....I have something called G3 professional bodywork detox and G3 professional resin superwax that I've never used.

Any good, Al?

[Doctor Gollum]

Thar do

I only suggest as above as that's what I tend to use

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Also found an old tube of G3 scratch removal paste.

The G3 Detox seems to be something you mix in a bucket.......similar to car shampoo.

[Doctor Gollum]

Scratch removal, then tother two

Go gently though...

[biggriffin]

Don't let her in the car again,if she does that

Gets hat and leaves.

[Nick W]

Scratch removal, then tother two

Go gently though...

The snag is that you're not polishing out scratches, but an acid burn into the paint. Which is why it's so difficult to get a good result.


It's also why if you care about the paint, it needs to be polished frequently to reduce the damage occurring in the first place

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Bird shit was sitting on the car for no more than a few hours.

The little bastards must have a very acidic diet.

[johnnydog]

If you are feeling brave, then gentle heat applied with a hot air gun over the affected area apparently will cause the remaining laquer to soften and conceal the mark.
There are You Tube videos showing how it's done.
I would definitely try it someone else's car first (!!!) and get a bit of practise in. I do know of a valeter who works for a main dealer who is quite a dab hand at this.
Take a braver man than me though to try it without some practice....

[zirk]

Bird shit was sitting on the car for no more than a few hours.

The little bastards must have a very acidic diet.

They do this time of year lots of Fruit and Berries around which they love, seem to remember Wild Blackberry Poo are the worst offender for car paint

[Bigron]

It doesn't help that car manufacturers have been using water based paint for some time now instead of solvent based paint; it helps the "environment" - and it's cheaper! 

Ron.

[Nick W]

It doesn't help that car manufacturers have been using water based paint for some time now instead of solvent based paint; it helps the "environment" - and it's cheaper! 

Ron.

It certainly isn't cheaper! Especially as you don't just slosh in some tapwater. And it's only the basecoat that's waterborne; the clear is still catalysed solvent, and that's what gives both the finish and the protection. Don't forget, the solvent(and water is a solvent) is only there to carry the actual paint to the surface and help it flow out to a smooth coating.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Seems like a lot of effort for a Signum.                                                  

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Seems like a lot of effort for a Signum.                                                  

It's the other one........not the mighty Signum.

[Mister Rog]

I wonder if it's possible to get a car in "metallic bird shit" colour ? problem solved . . .

[Doctor Gollum]

Didn't somebody own an Astra that colour, or was it dog poo brown... 

[aaronjb]

Didn't somebody own an Astra that colour, or was it dog poo brown... 

Honest to god I saw the turdest brown car I've ever seen in L's works car park this morning.. there was already a metallic brown Focus, but now it's been joined by a flat, turd brown Fiat.

Who buys these things!?

[Kevin Wood]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

[aaronjb]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

[Kevin Wood]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

[aaronjb]

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

And wipe-clean!

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?....

[Kevin Wood]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?....

Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest.

[aaronjb]

Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest.

I can vouch for that. In fact, it took an additional seven years for the effects of the Allegro to wear off.. 

[henryd]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Aggro handled better than the Marina,I had both ,18TC Marina a hoot on a straight road but woeful in the bendy bits

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?....

Aggro was better than the Marina(I had both ) although the 1.8TC was a hoot in a straight line but only in a straight line

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now.

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat.

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?....

Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest.

Oh...I don't know.

I've  heard rumours that the desirable and much sought after All-aggro 1750 HL has girls panties sticking to their gusset in anticipation as they get peeled off.

[Doctor Gollum]

Only sweaty from all that vinyl 

[Nick W]

Only sweaty from all that vinyl 

Or a rash from all that velour. That's what she said the cause was.

[Doctor Gollum]

 

[Sir Tigger KC]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

[dave the builder]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth 

[Kevin Wood]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth 

Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth 

Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though.

I've been to Exeter. Very similar to Royston Vasey.

[dave the builder]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth 

Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though.

I've been to Exeter. Very similar to Royston Vasey.

Hadfield (Royston Vassey ) is a nice area just on the outskirts of the known world ,Derbyshire 
Exeter on the other hand is again ,very close to the edge of the earth
could you see the ice wall F.M. Dr Opti  ? 

I empathize with you re : bird mess, one local here feeds the dam birds ,which "go toilet "on my car 
should I go and "go toilet" on his car 

[Sir Tigger KC]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

Dorset posh totty appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

The trick was to find a rebellious one who wanted to piss her parents off! 

My Marina graced a few crunchy drives back in the day! 

[Kevin Wood]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

Dorset posh totty appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

The trick was to find a rebellious one who wanted to piss her parents off! 

My Marina graced a few crunchy drives back in the day! 

<wonders if it's a Euphemism>

[Rods2]

My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet! 

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way.

did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth 

That why the IOW ferry is on the most expensive strip of water in the world. Getting there is easy as you drop off the world, getting back.

[Bigron]

Speaking of the IOW, there's a double-decker bus that goes from Yarmouth to The Battery, way up above the Needles, via a narrow winding road. I
f you sit on the upper deck, front nearside seat, you appear to be suspended above the cliffs/sea - it's fresh underwear time, but a great thrill! 

Ron.

[dave the builder]

Fresh underwear time is December Ron  socks too and a bath if need be 

[Bigron]

That might be too soon, Dave, I won't have turned them enough times by then!
Here's the guide: after repeatedly turning them (front to back, back to front....), throw them at the wall and if they slide down then there's more wear left in them. If they stick firmly, it may be time for fresh knickers?
Remember that clothing store, C&A? Their labels told you which way round to wear them: now that they have gone, we have to rely on the old way - yellow at the front, brown at the rear! 

Ron.

[dave the builder]

That might be too soon, Dave, I won't have turned them enough times by then!
Here's the guide: after repeatedly turning them (front to back, back to front....), throw them at the wall and if they slide down then there's more wear left in them. If they stick firmly, it may be time for fresh knickers?
Remember that clothing store, C&A? Their labels told you which way round to wear them: now that they have gone, we have to rely on the old way - yellow at the front, brown at the rear! 

Ron.

Boxers or y fronts surely 
Knickers and panties are for the 2 bottom types (women)   

[Bigron]

Ok Dave - you got me! Obviously, I used the term loosely, but I accept your correction.
Incidentally, you are right; sock changing is an annual event, along with bathing, whether needed or not. 

Ron.

[dave the builder]

Ok Dave - you got me! Obviously, I used the term loosely, but I accept your correction.
Incidentally, you are right; sock changing is an annual event, along with bathing, whether needed or not. 

Ron.

Yep  , x-mas socks , and a splash of aftershave too
has the ladies swarming round you in no time 
(though usually , to borrow your credit cards , so they can go to the "sales" ) 

[Bigron]

Aftershave? That's for the uphill gardeners! 

Ron.

[dave the builder]

Aftershave? That's for the uphill gardeners! 

Ron.

Not so ^
if you don't have a dog to blame for the smell of wet dog ,aftershave is your friend 
plus , what else are you meant to do with it 
tastes foul even after all the booze is drank , too low octane to run a V6