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[Tezray]

Alcohol is quite evil and i won't be touching the stuff for a while....well maybe until next weekend lol

Went out Thursday night for my best mates 21st brithday, drank far far far too much, ended up getting far too close and personal with my ex-housemate, which was all witnessed by my girlfriend, then stumbled drunkenly around Bristol looking for her, not sure how i got home in the end, but it is now saturday morning and i still feel like death. My head is pounding, i've got to work, and generally since that night things have gone horribly wrong!!

So the moral of this story is.....Don't drink too much. Bad things will happen.....

Anyone else got some amusing drunken stories they'd like to share?? I'm sure there's got to be some  :exclamation

[tunnie]

again a m8's 21st... i realised i had drunk too much when i could not taste the differnce between Carling & Guiness.

I normally can't stand the black stuff... but drinking it that night i thought this larger tasted a bit 'odd'

Funnily enough it was not the black of the liquid that gave it away it was the letters on the glass....i decided to put that drink down and sober up a bit as I was in Chipping Norton and had no idea were my m8 lived!  

[Marks DTM Calib]

My stag do was the worst....in Amsterdam......its started off by me being forced (yes, honestly I was) to wear a dress and a Shirley Bassey wig....

.....as if that wasn't bad enough the day wore on with me (and the others) getting more and more drunk until we entered a strip club......I felt rough so left and got a Taxi, told the driver the name of the hotel.....

.....ten minutes later I realised I hadn't got any money so he let/threw me out.....it turned out we had been going the wrong way.....so I had a kip in a bus shelter to sober up for an hour.

Woke up and looked at the bus route map and decided I must be a fair few miles from the centre.....

.....fortunately there was a building site opposite and the dutch seem to leave bikes every where so I grabbed a short scaffold pole and broke a lock off a bike and started riding back to wards the city centre.....after about half an hour I reach dirty great big river/canal......I'm thinking about swimming for it (I could see the station on the other bank) when I notice a ferry.

Not having any money I think, I know, Ill sneak on (yeah right like nobody is going to notice a 15 stone bloke dressed up as a Shirley Bassey look alike!).....got to the other side, riding round the end of the railway station *which by now had shut) when I got stopped by the Police who the relieved me of my bike.

It took me another 2 hours of following the tram lines to get back to the hotel!

Talk about doing yourself over on your stag night!

[Markjay]

I don't drink as much these days but I downed a few pints when I was a younger lad, problem is alcohol does not make me go wild instead I become drowsy and fall asleep, so no idea what happened between me falling a sleep and waking up (not necessarily where I fell asleep in the first place), so no stories to tell

[Elite Pete]

I don't drink as much these days but I downed a few pints when I was a younger lad, problem is alcohol does not make me go wild instead I become drowsy and fall asleep, so no idea what happened between me falling a sleep and waking up (not necessarily where I fell asleep in the first place), so no stories to tell

Im the same I fall asleep when ive had a few to many. Many a time ive come out of a club in the winter steaming drunk, no coat because its to much trouble queing to put it in the cloak room in just a shirt and trousers. Then you have to decide a taxi home or a kebab and chips and you know the kebab and chips wins every time. So the walk home starts 1 step forward and 2 back and I can't count the amount of times ive sat on a wall for a rest and been woken by the milk man but ive fallen off the wall into a flower bed covered in mud and sick and shivering.  Now I just fall asleep in the chair and wake up with a stiff neck.

[Taxi_Driver]

My mate has done the same thing!
We had been drinking in a pub.....then decided it was a good idea to go to a club.....we started to walk...then decided a taxi would be a much better idea, but didnt have mobile on me.....no worries tho' another m8 lives on the route to the club. So got to m8's house....he wasnt in....but i knew he usually left his back door open....and wouldnt mind me using his phone. So other m8 said he'd wait and sit on the wall opposite.....anyway came back out m8 had gone! I thought bloody typical....he's fooked off!
Never mind, taxi turned up....i got in and went to the club.....where my other m8 already was (the one i used his phone) So all had good time.

I found out the next day my m8 sitting on the wall had dozed off and fallen off the wall backwards.....he woke up apparantly at about 4 am freezing cold and walked home!  

[Jay w]

plenty of drunken stories, but the one i remember the best......

Me and a friend went on a 18-30s holiday to Benedorm (or as we call it bonkidorm)

One night my mate has pulled, i had a touch of deli belly so had gone back to sleep it off, next thing i hear heim and her have stumbled back to the room, both of them wasted, made a load of noise, got undressed and started a bit of horizontal tango  

About 5 mins into it, the noise is getting worse and i have been woken up by this point, but i am pretending to be asleep as i didn't want to spoil his fun. Next thing he freezes.......tries to get up and leg it, she grabs hold of him wraps her legs round him and gives him a squeeze, with that he honks up all over her   .... it was an endless stream of it!!!

The whole hotel is worken up by her, she is out on our balcony, drunk as a lord/lady, screaming her head off because she is wearing my mates dinner, i walk out to the balcony naked, by which time people have come out to see what is going on, all they see is me laughing my head off and her covered from head to toe, my mate has crawled off to the shower by this time......

i have many others, i might have to post a few more, watch this space

[Lawman]

....was it a female ex-housemate?  :-?

I don't drink at all, never touched the stuff, spirits taste like aftershave, beer tastes "stale" and wine just tastes like vinegar :-/

[Tezray]

Many funny stories, especially yours mark  

Yes, a female ex-housemate that happens to be very attractive, blonde and has a great body lol Oh, and she's mentioned before to my (now ex?) girlfriend that she's always liked me, great combination! It all kicked off last night after a wedding reception and i'm not sure if we're together anymore  

Moral of the story part 2, love hurts.