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[Kevin Wood]

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

 

[Nickbat]

Nice one, Kevin!  

[Crazydad]

Yes i like that great

Any more :question

[Markjay]

 

[Crazydad]

Sunday School      

       
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

[Elite Pete]

Very good

[MikeDundee]

  Nice one

[maria]

Excellent, both jokes was good, you know how to cheer me up when i'm not well

[Crazydad]

Am glad to have brought a smile to your face

Everything ok with you :-/

[maria]

Am glad to have brought a smile to your face

Everything ok with you :-/

No sir crazydad,I'm still getting pain every now and then in my stomach, i was in tears tonight with it, its to do with certain foods i eat, I'm waiting for an appointment to come for a ultrasound scan....

[JamesV6CDX]

Am glad to have brought a smile to your face

Everything ok with you :-/

No sir crazydad,I'm still getting pain every now and then in my stomach, i was in tears tonight with it, its to do with certain foods i eat, I'm waiting for an appointment to come for a ultra scan....

That'll be an UltraSound

[Crazydad]

I am very sorry to hear this, and that the problem isīnt all too serious.

Why are you having to wait so long for the scan, surely if you are in pain, then they could fit you in,

after all the scan doesnt take all day, and it will perhaps help straight away

[smoothomega]

Made me laugh too, very good, both of them   BTW kevin, whats happend to your post count ? have i missed something in my absence  :-/

[smoothomega]

mmmmmmmmmm, just read the slipery thread, now i know whats happend to your post count Kevin  

[Danny]

I just noticed that!!