Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Car Chat => Topic started by: TheBoy on 06 May 2017, 19:16:46

Title: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 06 May 2017, 19:16:46
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I like:
Brilliant, effortless, superb mile cruncher
Heated/Cooled seats
Dual View screen (so she can watch TV or DVD, I see Nav/radio etc screen)
In car entertainment, both sound quality and connectivity options
Sunroof
Rear blind
Blind spot monitor
Jag Voice (it actually works)
Phone integration
Adjustable bolsters in front seats
Memories for passenger seat
Nav junction map comes up on dash, replacing fuel/temp gauges
Wiper sensitivity adjustable
Music streaming from phone via BT
Gracenote database (but doesn't look like its updatable)
Keyless entry/exit/start


What I dislike:
Poor visibility/high window line
Rear styling
Mediocre boot space
Its too long for small parking spaces!
Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone
Doesn't remember seat heat/cool settings
Central rear view mirror not on the seat memory system
Nav junction map on dash doesn't show distance to manoeuvre, so still have to glance at central nav screen to check distance
10s to fully disable TC.  The moment has usually passed by then, so no more BP antics
Can't wake up gayPod when its gone into standby, so have to rummage for iPod and wake it manually
Rear seats can't fold down for through loads
I really miss the little cubby hole under light switch in Omega


What I think is gimmicky
Quad zone climate control. Why?
Proximity switches for glovebox and internal lights


I reckon it'll be staying, I quite like it :)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 06 May 2017, 19:18:26
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 06 May 2017, 19:24:47

I reckon it'll be staying, I quite like it :)

Thank God for that!  ::)  ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Fraggles Rock on 06 May 2017, 20:24:19
Quad zone climate control is like the Omega, only twice as good :y Or to put another way, why not :D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Webby the Bear on 06 May 2017, 20:30:58
I suppose the "rear styling of a big black pussy" is completely subjective  :-\ :-X


 ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 20:35:04
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

Likewise Merc forums  ..... almost any question is answered by ..... get codes read on STAR (MBs versions of TechII)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lincs Robert on 06 May 2017, 20:40:08
What's Gracenote ?
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 20:54:05
What's Gracenote ?
???
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 06 May 2017, 21:09:45
What's Gracenote ?
A system that recognises music, and adds track/artist/album info

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracenote
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 06 May 2017, 21:21:06
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

Likewise Merc forums  ..... almost any question is answered by ..... get codes read on STAR (MBs versions of TechII)

Probably because TB people, like you, who own a Jag or Merc are rich and don't need to use a forum about taking them apart  They just put them into a garage;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 06 May 2017, 21:27:57
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

And you always said you would never have a XJ.  :P Glad it's gone down well  :)

Boot space in Jags appears an issue, the XF was poor for my needs, the XF Sportback is not great either.

The CC has far a better boot than XF  :(

VW forums fairly poor as well, can't see me doing any major DIY soon other than odd air filters change.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 21:41:10
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

Likewise Merc forums  ..... almost any question is answered by ..... get codes read on STAR (MBs versions of TechII)

Probably because TB people, like you, who own a Jag or Merc are rich and don't need to use a forum about taking them apart  They just put them into a garage;D ;D ;)

I ain't rich  ;)
When a garage quotes me £400 to replace a single rear shocker plus another  £100 to fit it ....... I did them both myself using pattern parts for less than the price of one. A couple of hours (ish  ::) ) each side & they were sorted. I begrudge paying people to do what I can do myself.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 21:43:46
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

And you always said you would never have a XJ.  :P Glad it's gone down well  :)

Boot space in Jags appears an issue, the XF was poor for my needs, the XF Sportback is not great either.

......

Clarkson once said of a Jag .... XJR. ..... if you need more space, but a field  :y  :y :y

Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 06 May 2017, 21:51:37
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

And you always said you would never have a XJ.  :P Glad it's gone down well  :)

Boot space in Jags appears an issue, the XF was poor for my needs, the XF Sportback is not great either.

......

Clarkson once said of a Jag .... XJR. ..... if you need more space, but a field  :y  :y :y

I need a farm then  ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 21:56:31
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

And you always said you would never have a XJ.  :P Glad it's gone down well  :)

Boot space in Jags appears an issue, the XF was poor for my needs, the XF Sportback is not great either.

......

Clarkson once said of a Jag .... XJR. ..... if you need more space, but a field  :y  :y :y

I need a farm then  ;D
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 22:01:24
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhEMEVlIeo4

At 8mins  ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 06 May 2017, 22:03:04
So what is the jag version of VCDS/Star/Tech2?

One thing I've really liked with my VW is the ease at which I can do Tech2 level stuff, the software has a great community and it's very powerful software. I can do everything from enabling features, tweaking soft indicator count to adjusting parking sensor volume.  That's on top of full sensor read outs, live date and stuff like DPF burn stats. It was easy to buy (genuine reseller) and setup on my laptop.

I'm only scraping the surface too
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 06 May 2017, 22:05:01
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhEMEVlIeo4

At 8mins  ;)

I remember that live  :-[

Love an XJR, but not sure I could cope with its fuel bills as a commuter
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 06 May 2017, 22:07:27
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhEMEVlIeo4

At 8mins  ;)

I remember that live  :-[

Love an XJR, but not sure I could cope with its fuel bills as a commuter

Likewise ..... more years ago than I'd like to remember
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lincs Robert on 06 May 2017, 22:16:23
What's Gracenote ?
A system that recognises music, and adds track/artist/album info

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracenote

Similar to the way that a Brennan "jukebox" adds track info to CDs then
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 07 May 2017, 00:04:35
I can do everything from enabling features, tweaking soft indicator count to adjusting parking sensor volume.  That's on top of full sensor read outs, live date and stuff like DPF burn stats.

I'm only scraping the surface too

Those long winter nights will fly by!  ::)  :P  ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: terry paget on 07 May 2017, 08:33:29
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical
I imagine the Omega is unique in being the last UK large volume production front engine rear wheel drive luxury car. It thus has a large forum of dedicated users who buy them cheap, enjoy them, and can do lots of repairs themselves, using many bits harvested from dead Omegas. Mercs and BMWs were always more expensive than Omegas, as, of course, were Jaguars.

A mate of mine has recently bought a RWD Jag for £1500 from a dealer, and it seems in good nick, so old Jags may be as cheap as Omegas these days. He has it serviced by a main dealer and it has not gone wrong in 6 months. Maybe a forum will build up for DIYers in the future.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 07 May 2017, 09:56:03
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

And you always said you would never have a XJ.  :P Glad it's gone down well  :)

Boot space in Jags appears an issue, the XF was poor for my needs, the XF Sportback is not great either.

......

Clarkson once said of a Jag .... XJR. ..... if you need more space, but a field  :y  :y :y
In pure spec terms, the boot is pretty big for a 4 door saloon, just not very usable IMHO. Quite shallow due to huge wheel well, small opening, but does go back a long way.  Additionally, the boot floor is not flat (which has its uses, as well as obvious disadvantages).

However, I couldn't give 2 hoots about boot space. If I cared, I'd buy a field. Or a transit. ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: 2boxerdogs on 07 May 2017, 09:58:01
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical
I imagine the Omega is unique in being the last UK large volume production front engine rear wheel drive luxury car. It thus has a large forum of dedicated users who buy them cheap, enjoy them, and can do lots of repairs themselves, using many bits harvested from dead Omegas. Mercs and BMWs were always more expensive than Omegas, as, of course, were Jaguars.

A mate of mine has recently bought a RWD Jag for £1500 from a dealer, and it seems in good nick, so old Jags may be as cheap as Omegas these days. He has it serviced by a main dealer and it has not gone wrong in 6 months. Maybe a forum will build up for DIYers in the future.
.   




Really don't think you can go wrong buying large luxury secondhand cars do your homework & grab a bargain.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 07 May 2017, 10:17:09
...
Clarkson once said of a Jag .... XJR. ..... if you need more space, but a field  :y  :y :y

I really should check my spelling  ....  :-[
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lizzie Zoom on 07 May 2017, 16:20:59
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

Likewise Merc forums  ..... almost any question is answered by ..... get codes read on STAR (MBs versions of TechII)

Probably because TB people, like you, who own a Jag or Merc are rich and don't need to use a forum about taking them apart  They just put them into a garage;D ;D ;)

I ain't rich  ;)
When a garage quotes me £400 to replace a single rear shocker plus another  £100 to fit it ....... I did them both myself using pattern parts for less than the price of one. A couple of hours (ish  ::) ) each side & they were sorted. I begrudge paying people to do what I can do myself.

I was only joking ;D ;D ;D ;D   :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Mr Gav on 07 May 2017, 16:56:49
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 08 May 2017, 08:07:04
....
I was only joking ;D ;D ;D ;D   :y

I know  ;) ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: aaronjb on 08 May 2017, 09:57:22
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhEMEVlIeo4

At 8mins  ;)

And immediately after that.. fake (presumably cheap Chinese, I didn't carry on watching) suspension arms being fitted to Vauxhall Cavaliers.. probably the same manufacturer that made the one Al had fail spectacularly, 20 years on! ;D

Actually saw a Cavalier yesterday, first one I've seen on the roads in probably 10 years.. ah, nostalgia.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 08 May 2017, 13:22:26
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lazydocker on 08 May 2017, 15:05:19
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

Gayphone only accepts the one connection profile for everything  ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 08 May 2017, 15:11:25
Never saw that coming :D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Mr Gav on 08 May 2017, 15:36:50
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

Difference with mine is that the text is read out via the phone speaker on Android, which is barely audible in the van.

I haven`t worked out why the Windows phone is via the radio and the Android not  :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 08 May 2017, 18:55:24
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

Gayphone only accepts the one connection profile for everything  ;)
Which in theory is the way it should be...
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lazydocker on 08 May 2017, 19:31:19
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

Gayphone only accepts the one connection profile for everything  ;)
Which in theory is the way it should be...
If you stream the music from your gayphone then it will probably work 😉
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 08 May 2017, 19:35:43
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

Gayphone only accepts the one connection profile for everything  ;)
Which in theory is the way it should be...
If you stream the music from your gayphone then it will probably work 😉
That was exactly my theory.  I need to go outside and test said theory.  But CBA my tea is about ready ::)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: jimbobmccoy on 08 May 2017, 19:53:29
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I dislike:

Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone

Possibly a phone issue rather than the Jag, the Shitroen Nemo I have for work reads the texts out through the audio on my old Windows phone but not on the Android.

Glad you like it  :y
My theory is, BT audio streaming mutes the phone speaker, even when I'm not istening to the phone.

Just haven't tested said theory.

This.
Once connected it will attempt to push all audio over Bluetooth (unless in an app that lets you specifically choose an alternative (such as phone and choosing speaker or headset)
If the cars stereo is set to Bluetooth as input you should hear the alerts.
This can be annoying if you get a constant molesting via work emails and have either an audiobook, or any loud music on.
Having an Apple Watch connected will have some impact on this as it then try's to push alerts to that and not on the phone (in general and subject to how you've set it up) but I'd hazard a guess at an Apple Watch being an apple too far for tb
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 09 May 2017, 17:23:03
Another annoyance.

You can open boot with fob (from a million miles away :y), but not close with fob, so you have to traipse all the way back to the car when you accidentally press the button from 70yrds away in the phishing rain...


Unless that's a fault with mine?
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 09 May 2017, 17:24:26
On plus side, you can turn on headlights and reverse LEDs from fob. Again, from a million miles away.

Shame the button is close to the boot opening one ::)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Andy B on 09 May 2017, 21:56:02
Another annoyance.

You can open boot with fob (from a million miles away :y), but not close with fob, so you have to traipse all the way back to the car when you accidentally press the button from 70yrds away in the phishing rain...


Unless that's a fault with mine?

My gripe with my Merc is that I can unlock my car from that far away it''ll re-lock itself before I can get to it, but, I've to stand within feet of the driver's door to 'global' open or close the windows & roof because it uses infra red to do so rather than rf like the central locking. And ...... MB deem deadlocks to be potentially dangerous   ???
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 10 May 2017, 14:32:45
On plus side, you can turn on headlights and reverse LEDs from fob. Again, from a million miles away.

Shame the button is close to the boot opening one ::)

Why?  :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 10 May 2017, 14:49:51
On plus side, you can turn on headlights and reverse LEDs from fob. Again, from a million miles away.

Shame the button is close to the boot opening one ::)

Why?  :-\

I can't turn on the reverse lights, but my headlights,tail lights and wing mirror puddle lights come on when opening the car at night.

Useful to find in a dark car-park or even at home to see things!
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 10 May 2017, 14:50:08
Why not :D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 10 May 2017, 18:44:35
On plus side, you can turn on headlights and reverse LEDs from fob. Again, from a million miles away.

Shame the button is close to the boot opening one ::)

Why?  :-\
You ain't seen some of the dodgy, dark places I end up at ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 01 June 2017, 18:04:34
Did I mention I like cooled seats? I really like cooled seats. No, I really, really like cooled seats.  Every car should have them.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 June 2017, 18:42:48
Did I mention I like cooled seats? I really like cooled seats. No, I really, really like cooled seats.  Every car should have them.

My car has heated/cooled seats but I find the cooling part pretty piss poor to the point that I barely bother. Seat filters have been replaced twice but still no improvement.

Jaguar dealers say the cooled seats are mediocre at best. Most owners (with one or two exceptions) on the XF forum say they are a waste of time. Shame really.

Perhaps XJ seat coolers are different to mine.

Jaguar forums tend to talk about dealer charges rather than DIY. Most owners tend to know SFA about their car and simply book it in at Jaguar. :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 01 June 2017, 18:45:48
Jaguar forums tend to talk about dealer charges rather than DIY. Most owners tend to know SFA about their car and simply book it in at Jaguar. :-\
Don't I know it, after asking how to remove doorcard....

http://www.jaguarforum.com/showthread.php?t=100502

Ad laden, slow vBulletin as well  >:(
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 01 June 2017, 18:48:15
My car has heated/cooled seats but I find the cooling part pretty piss poor to the point that I barely bother. Seat filters have been replaced twice but still no improvement.
Its subtle, but with no option for real seats, only leather, its necessary to stop sweaty back/arse/legs. Does need chiller down low mind, mine was on 18C coming home.  The coolest setting on the seat was too much after a few miles, so had to select middle one.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Viral_Jim on 01 June 2017, 19:16:14
Glad it works for you. I got some big Renault (velsatis maybe??) as a hire car recently and that had them - didn't know it was on, made bog all difference!

I really wanted them last time I bought a Saab, but after nearly 6months I gave up looking and just had heated instead.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 01 June 2017, 19:24:54
Jaguar forums tend to talk about dealer charges rather than DIY. Most owners tend to know SFA about their car and simply book it in at Jaguar. :-\
Don't I know it, after asking how to remove doorcard....

http://www.jaguarforum.com/showthread.php?t=100502

Ad laden, slow vBulletin as well  >:(
Benzworld is slow to load too unless you pay for the adfree membership, but at least there's some decent technical know how on it...
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 June 2017, 19:54:18
My car has heated/cooled seats but I find the cooling part pretty piss poor to the point that I barely bother. Seat filters have been replaced twice but still no improvement.
Its subtle, but with no option for real seats, only leather, its necessary to stop sweaty back/arse/legs. Does need chiller down low mind, mine was on 18C coming home.  The coolest setting on the seat was too much after a few miles, so had to select middle one.

Some on the Jaguar forum say the seats are 'cooled'. Other people use 'ventilated'or refrigerated'


Not quite sure which, or what difference it makes.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 June 2017, 20:00:41
My car has heated/cooled seats but I find the cooling part pretty piss poor to the point that I barely bother. Seat filters have been replaced twice but still no improvement.
Its subtle, but with no option for real seats, only leather, its necessary to stop sweaty back/arse/legs. Does need chiller down low mind, mine was on 18C coming home.  The coolest setting on the seat was too much after a few miles, so had to select middle one.

I find the 'cooling' best where the cushion joins the seat back. Not much cooling high up on the seat back or under my legs. :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 01 June 2017, 20:07:33
Had it over a month, though obviously couldn't drive for part of that due to being unable to walk, let alone drive.

What I like:
Brilliant, effortless, superb mile cruncher
Heated/Cooled seats
Dual View screen (so she can watch TV or DVD, I see Nav/radio etc screen)
In car entertainment, both sound quality and connectivity options
Sunroof
Rear blind
Blind spot monitor
Jag Voice (it actually works)
Phone integration
Adjustable bolsters in front seats
Memories for passenger seat
Nav junction map comes up on dash, replacing fuel/temp gauges
Wiper sensitivity adjustable
Music streaming from phone via BT
Gracenote database (but doesn't look like its updatable)
Keyless entry/exit/start


What I dislike:
Poor visibility/high window line
Rear styling
Mediocre boot space
Its too long for small parking spaces!
Can't hear incoming text messages on paired phone
Doesn't remember seat heat/cool settings
Central rear view mirror not on the seat memory system
Nav junction map on dash doesn't show distance to manoeuvre, so still have to glance at central nav screen to check distance
10s to fully disable TC.  The moment has usually passed by then, so no more BP antics
Can't wake up gayPod when its gone into standby, so have to rummage for iPod and wake it manually
Rear seats can't fold down for through loads
I really miss the little cubby hole under light switch in Omega


What I think is gimmicky
Quad zone climate control. Why?
Proximity switches for glovebox and internal lights


I reckon it'll be staying, I quite like it :)

My car is a real scary handful with the ESP/TC completely disabled. Even with the middle setting, Trac DSC, which is supposed to allow some slip, the car is all over the place if I boot it.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: STEMO on 01 June 2017, 20:53:39
You'd be better of with my astra, Opti. Leave the powerful cars to people that can handle them.  :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 02 June 2017, 00:56:34
You'd be better of with my astra, Opti. Leave the powerful cars to people that can handle them.  :y

At his age the reflex's must be pretty well shot I'd imagine!  ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lazydocker on 02 June 2017, 06:30:24
Jaguar forums tend to talk about dealer charges rather than DIY. Most owners tend to know SFA about their car and simply book it in at Jaguar. :-\
Don't I know it, after asking how to remove doorcard....

http://www.jaguarforum.com/showthread.php?t=100502

Ad laden, slow vBulletin as well  >:(

"What's a door card?"  :D :D :D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 June 2017, 11:44:18
You'd be better of with my astra, Opti. Leave the powerful cars to people that can handle them.  :y

If only it wasn't finished in such an unfortunate shade of green. :P :P :P :P
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 June 2017, 11:45:44
You'd be better of with my astra, Opti. Leave the powerful cars to people that can handle them.  :y

At his age the reflex's must be pretty well shot I'd imagine!  ;)

How very dare you.......whippersnapper. :P :P :P :P :P :P
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 02 June 2017, 12:02:41
Jaguar forums tend to talk about dealer charges rather than DIY. Most owners tend to know SFA about their car and simply book it in at Jaguar. :-\
Don't I know it, after asking how to remove doorcard....

http://www.jaguarforum.com/showthread.php?t=100502

Ad laden, slow vBulletin as well  >:(

Quote
You could go on ebay and ask someone selling one how to do it

Brilliant  ;D

Although a failed locking motor already?  :(
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: aaronjb on 02 June 2017, 12:12:45
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(

Maybe Lucas still make Jaguar electrics..
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 June 2017, 12:18:31
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(

Maybe Lucas still make Jaguar electrics..

My car (July 2013) has already suffered problems with  the central locking/alarm system. Fixed under warranty, fortunately.

Jaguar does tend to have a 'Tandy parts bin' approach when it comes to electrics. 
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: aaronjb on 02 June 2017, 12:28:51
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(

Maybe Lucas still make Jaguar electrics..

My car (July 2013) has already suffered problems with  the central locking/alarm system. Fixed under warranty, fortunately.

Jaguar does tend to have a 'Tandy parts bin' approach when it comes to electrics.

You're showing your age there, Opti! ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 June 2017, 13:02:02
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(

Maybe Lucas still make Jaguar electrics..

My car (July 2013) has already suffered problems with  the central locking/alarm system. Fixed under warranty, fortunately.

Jaguar does tend to have a 'Tandy parts bin' approach when it comes to electrics.

You're showing your age there, Opti! ;D

I'm told  you are officially classed as an old fart if you can remember the 'old money'.....sadly I can. :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 02 June 2017, 13:27:41
Also noticed that Jag forum suffers from same issue VW ones do, threads with lack of replies.  :(
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: biggriffin on 02 June 2017, 13:36:37
Also noticed that Jag forum suffers from same issue VW ones do, threads with lack of replies.  :(


That's because people with jaaaaags only like to say how much they've paid for repairs, as they don't fix themselves. They have people that do... 

I'm guessing the VW one is all about how big there wheels are, or what's the smallest size tyre they can fit on a 20" rim..
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 02 June 2017, 13:55:00
Also noticed that Jag forum suffers from same issue VW ones do, threads with lack of replies.  :(


That's because people with jaaaaags only like to say how much they've paid for repairs, as they don't fix themselves. They have people that do... 

I'm guessing the VW one is all about how big there wheels are, or what's the smallest size tyre they can fit on a 20" rim..

Actually very little of that either, yes on the American one they are heavy into 'mods' and 'slamming' them so they run 2mm from the ground.

UK ones tend to be full of DIY questions, just a huge lack of response/knowledge.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 02 June 2017, 17:42:51
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(
Suppose it could be a tight mech, but I suspect motor and/or its selection of open/close/ajar switches.  Seems to be a curse of most cars (though VAG may still use their vac operated ones?).

Price of motor looks scary  :'(
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Viral_Jim on 02 June 2017, 18:44:17
Price of motor looks scary  :'(

I'd pull it first and see what part numbers are on it. JLR are buggers for the common parts bin. You may be pleasantly surprised that it's shared with something older/cheaper like an xf, or even discovery.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Shackeng on 02 June 2017, 19:56:27
Although a failed locking motor already?  :(

Maybe Lucas still make Jaguar electrics..

My car (July 2013) has already suffered problems with  the central locking/alarm system. Fixed under warranty, fortunately.

Jaguar does tend to have a 'Tandy parts bin' approach when it comes to electrics.

You're showing your age there, Opti! ;D

Yep, even I know its now Radio Shack! 8)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: STEMO on 02 June 2017, 20:15:42
Price of motor looks scary  :'(

I'd pull it first and see what part numbers are on it. JLR are buggers for the common parts bin. You may be pleasantly surprised that it's shared with something older/cheaper like an xf, or even discovery.
He really shouldn't start pulling his jag to bits. Mr DTM, on the other hand, would love to work on something a bit more modern than an omega, I'm sure.  :)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 04 June 2017, 18:42:26
Price of motor looks scary  :'(

I'd pull it first and see what part numbers are on it. JLR are buggers for the common parts bin. You may be pleasantly surprised that it's shared with something older/cheaper like an xf, or even discovery.
That was my plan...  ...well, to get a meter out all over it first, in case just a switch....
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 04 June 2017, 18:43:38
Doesn't help that I think the battery is 3 parts shagged, but I'm getting all sorts of spurious voltage readings, that one day make me think the battery is fine, and another day that its shagged.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Viral_Jim on 04 June 2017, 18:50:50
Doesn't help that I think the battery is 3 parts shagged, but I'm getting all sorts of spurious voltage readings, that one day make me think the battery is fine, and another day that its shagged.

FWIW I would fit a new battery first thing. I know on my parents rangie, and on colleague's xf that an imperfect battery led to a whole Christmas tree's worth of faults and warning lights. From windows refusing to fully close (leaving a 2" gap) to air suspension misbehaviour and the XF informing the driver it had no oil in it  :o

If you're even 5% worried about the battery's health it's pointless trying to fault find until you've changed it for a known good unit.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 04 June 2017, 19:02:42
Doesn't help that I think the battery is 3 parts shagged, but I'm getting all sorts of spurious voltage readings, that one day make me think the battery is fine, and another day that its shagged.

FWIW I would fit a new battery first thing. I know on my parents rangie, and on colleague's xf that an imperfect battery led to a whole Christmas tree's worth of faults and warning lights. From windows refusing to fully close (leaving a 2" gap) to air suspension misbehaviour and the XF informing the driver it had no oil in it  :o

If you're even 5% worried about the battery's health it's pointless trying to fault find until you've changed it for a known good unit.
That kind of goes along with my gut feeling about minor niggles I have, such as passenger mirror now unfolding if car has stood overnight....

...it was just the £200 for a new one, I wanted to cover all bases first ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Viral_Jim on 04 June 2017, 22:31:51
I'm in a similar position. The car is hovering me no worries at all, but I don't have a date stamp on the battery and it's definitely OE Volvo so I'm concerned its original. Also, it's sitting at 12.3v or 13.9 when charging idle which "feels" low to me.

That said, mine will be nearer the £60mark. Have you checked Tayna Batteries? They're showing a Bosch (5yr guarantee) that will fit yours for £110. I've always had good service from them  :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Migv6 le Frog Fan on 04 June 2017, 22:39:11
I would also recommend Tayna for batteries. Don't think you can get a decent battery cheaper. :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Lazydocker on 05 June 2017, 08:16:05
I would also recommend Tayna for batteries. Don't think you can get a decent battery cheaper. :y

Thirded... Been superb on the few occasions I've used them :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 05 June 2017, 08:49:05
Price of motor looks scary  :'(

I'd pull it first and see what part numbers are on it. JLR are buggers for the common parts bin. You may be pleasantly surprised that it's shared with something older/cheaper like an xf, or even discovery.
He really shouldn't start pulling his jag to bits. Mr DTM, on the other hand, would love to work on something a bit more modern than an omega, I'm sure.  :)

Don't give him ideas, I already have an Astra on the drive in need of major service with cambelt and an Omega to que up.

 :'(
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 05 June 2017, 09:42:50
...it was just the £200 for a new one, I wanted to cover all bases first ;D

£200!  :o  What size battery is that?  ::)

Or is it something like this (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/111232380774?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT) with a Jag sticker slapped on it?  ;)  ::)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: biggriffin on 05 June 2017, 10:02:26
Try Halfords for a battery, with trade card, might be a deal
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 05 June 2017, 13:38:25
...it was just the £200 for a new one, I wanted to cover all bases first ;D

£200!  :o  What size battery is that?  ::)

Or is it something like this (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/111232380774?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT) with a Jag sticker slapped on it?  ;)  ::)

I'd need to check but I think my battery is 96AH.........and then there is the second motorcycle sized battery, much as with the CLS 500 I owned.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 05 June 2017, 13:50:48
Was that £200 for the battery, not the wing mirror?  :o
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 05 June 2017, 13:59:12
Was that £200 for the battery, not the wing mirror?  :o

Didn't you know that Jaguar batteries are gold plated Tunnie?  ;D

I'm very cynical about branded batteries, and the one I linked to above is what I bought for my BMW 530d nearly a year ago. £50 with a 4 year warranty!  :y

Not saying that it's suitable for TB's Jag, just a good example of what's out there. :)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 05 June 2017, 14:22:50
Just went on ECP, ranges from £130-280  :o

Pricey ones being Exide vs Lion? Also just checked my reg out of interest for the VW, it only specifies Exide.  :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Viral_Jim on 05 June 2017, 14:35:06

I'm very cynical about branded batteries, and the one I linked to above is what I bought for my BMW 530d nearly a year ago. £50 with a 4 year warranty!  :y

Not saying that it's suitable for TB's Jag, just a good example of what's out there. :)

Yes, I'd be inclined to agree. As long as it's bought from an actual business that's likely to honour the warranty I don't see an issue. Looking back at the invoice for the last Tanya battery I bought, it was a similar no brand you've ever heard of but had a higher rating than other options and had a 4yr guarantee.

Previously I'd bought branded batteries because I knew I was going to sell the car imminently and I think, along with tyre brands, is something people look at as an indication of how well the car's been maintained.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: aaronjb on 05 June 2017, 15:49:51
I had random codes attributable to voltage swings on the BMW (it actually reports voltage swings in the ECUs, though, being German and all).. all advice said to replace the battery.

I did so. And then one new alternator regulator later the codes actually went away.... ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 05 June 2017, 17:51:41
That said, mine will be nearer the £60mark. Have you checked Tayna Batteries? They're showing a Bosch (5yr guarantee) that will fit yours for £110. I've always had good service from them  :y
Thanks for the recommendation (and others who recommended) - I had looked them up a few weeks ago after I read a link on a jag forum, but wanted a recommendation from someone else who I felt I knew better than a one off post on a forum I don't frequent much :y
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 05 June 2017, 17:53:53
Price of motor looks scary  :'(

I'd pull it first and see what part numbers are on it. JLR are buggers for the common parts bin. You may be pleasantly surprised that it's shared with something older/cheaper like an xf, or even discovery.
He really shouldn't start pulling his jag to bits. Mr DTM, on the other hand, would love to work on something a bit more modern than an omega, I'm sure.  :)

Don't give him ideas, I already have an Astra on the drive in need of major service with cambelt and an Omega to que up.

 :'(
Will you promise not to rip off the Leaper badge and shove on a Griffin? ;D

You'll have to give it a blast next time I'm up, by which time I hope to have some new bushes on it, as I'm not happy with whats on there currently (oh the joys of changing cars....)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 05 June 2017, 17:55:40
Try Halfords for a battery, with trade card, might be a deal
I already had. I quite like Halfords for the "go in, pay, and have the thing in your hands", as I get seriously pissed off with all these online sellers who never actually stock anything, despite their claims, so you end up waiting weeks and constantly chasing them.

£145 trade IIRC, for Halfords own brand (nothing else offered)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 05 June 2017, 17:58:33
Was that £200 for the battery, not the wing mirror?  :o
Apparently, the wing mirrors are horrific prices (mind you, Elite ones weren't far of £1k :o), £200 won't even buy the glass if you have autodimming (most do) and blind spot monitoring (optional, but mine has it).
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 05 June 2017, 18:01:10

I'm very cynical about branded batteries, and the one I linked to above is what I bought for my BMW 530d nearly a year ago. £50 with a 4 year warranty!  :y

Not saying that it's suitable for TB's Jag, just a good example of what's out there. :)

Yes, I'd be inclined to agree. As long as it's bought from an actual business that's likely to honour the warranty I don't see an issue. Looking back at the invoice for the last Tanya battery I bought, it was a similar no brand you've ever heard of but had a higher rating than other options and had a 4yr guarantee.

Previously I'd bought branded batteries because I knew I was going to sell the car imminently and I think, along with tyre brands, is something people look at as an indication of how well the car's been maintained.
In this case, I think I'd go with branded, partly because it seems car is quite fussy, but mainly because we all know an online seller will wash their hands of it after a year, telling you to post to manufacturer.  At least a branded one is liable to have reasonably local official distributors who can deal with it.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 01 August 2017, 19:54:31
Central rear view mirror not on the seat memory system
Did I mention this is really irritating. Really, really irritating.

Vauxhall were miles ahead 25yrs ago.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 01 August 2017, 19:54:52
The only viable solution is not let her drive it.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 02 August 2017, 00:54:56
The only viable solution is not let her drive it.

Any excuse!  ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: biggriffin on 02 August 2017, 09:38:16
Try Halfords for a battery, with trade card, might be a deal
I already had. I quite like Halfords for the "go in, pay, and have the thing in your hands", as I get seriously pissed off with all these online sellers who never actually stock anything, despite their claims, so you end up waiting weeks and constantly chasing them.

£145 trade IIRC, for Halfords own brand (nothing else offered)
.

Also the Halfords 3 year guarantee, is good, had a battery, of mums car 2 1/2 year old kept discharging, back to Halfords, produced the receipt, "here you go sir have a new battery".
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 20 September 2017, 19:16:45
Another dislike. Actually a bloody disgraceful omission.

The clock will not automatically adjust after hour change, or drift or the mongrel oppswit dealer idiot disconnecting the battery, and not resetting the clock.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 20 September 2017, 19:18:37
And did I mention the forums are shite.

2 particular queries I've posted - how to remove a doorcard was greated with "whats a doorcard" and "ask an ebay seller", and how to automatically set the clock "google it". Really? No shit Sherlock.

self-abusers.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 20 September 2017, 19:31:46
Oh, to add to dislikes:
The jag forums are not very helpful for anything practical

Likewise Merc forums  ..... almost any question is answered by ..... get codes read on STAR (MBs versions of TechII)

Probably because TB people, like you, who own a Jag or Merc are rich and don't need to use a forum about taking them apart  They just put them into a garage;D ;D ;)

A sense of humour is a wonderful thing, Lizzie. ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 20 September 2017, 19:38:11
I reckon Benzworld gives this place a run for its money ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 20 September 2017, 19:40:21
I reckon Benzworld gives this place a run for its money ;)
But guessing fairly useless if you don't own a MB...   ...which I won't until they can design a car properly, or my foreskin earwarmers turn up
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 20 September 2017, 20:13:49
I reckon Benzworld gives this place a run for its money ;)
But guessing fairly useless if you don't own a MB...   ...which I won't until they can design a car properly, or my foreskin earwarmers turn up
All true enough. Although mine was signed off before the accounts arrived ::) Not sure I would buy anything from the current range :-\
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 20 September 2017, 20:24:31
I reckon Benzworld gives this place a run for its money ;)
But guessing fairly useless if you don't own a MB...   ...which I won't until they can design a car properly, or my foreskin earwarmers turn up
All true enough. Although mine was signed off before the accounts arrived ::) Not sure I would buy anything from the current range :-\
I concur :y, you need to be looking at those designed pre 1990ish, before they lost the plot.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: tunnie on 20 September 2017, 20:55:23
Another dislike. Actually a bloody disgraceful omission.

The clock will not automatically adjust after hour change, or drift or the mongrel oppswit dealer idiot disconnecting the battery, and not resetting the clock.

Mother T's 2014 E-Class estate is the same, I had to dive into the settings to change it.

VW did it automatically though!
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 20 September 2017, 21:01:26
Another dislike. Actually a bloody disgraceful omission.

The clock will not automatically adjust after hour change, or drift or the mongrel oppswit dealer idiot disconnecting the battery, and not resetting the clock.

Mother T's 2014 E-Class estate is the same, I had to dive into the settings to change it.

VW did it automatically though!
Everything in the world can manage it (granted, we know modern Mercs are designed built by idiots, so they don't count). I'm so shocked a modern car can't do it.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: biggriffin on 21 September 2017, 22:06:01
Another dislike. Actually a bloody disgraceful omission.

The clock will not automatically adjust after hour change, or drift or the mongrel oppswit dealer idiot disconnecting the battery, and not resetting the clock.
.

Omega clock resets once the radio gets rds signal, will also change in euroland too. How old is that technology, GM trumps again.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: 2boxerdogs on 24 September 2017, 14:31:01
Had no problems with my Merc in the 2 years I've had it one oil change service at MB in Boston Lincolnshire car came back completely valeted & the health check showed no issues , the only item that I have had to replace & funny enough it was earlier this week is a fog light bulb the manual illustrated how to do it , have taken it to a couple of shows during the year where it has a lot of attention & it's photos have appeared in several publications . I would like an older one but prices are getting a bit high so I will satisfy myself with the E430 for a few more years.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 02 December 2017, 17:19:02
Now its started to get a bit nippy out, to add to my list of likes for the car, the heated steering wheel.  I really do like that.

I'd borrowed enough of josywyatt's Range Rovers to have played with heated wheels before, but always thought it was a bit gimmicky.  But I'm converted now, and it really hit home when I took the Battlebus to the ABS meet last night, the frikkin' wheel was frikkin' cold ;D
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 December 2017, 18:55:02
Now its started to get a bit nippy out, to add to my list of likes for the car, the heated steering wheel.  I really do like that.

I'd borrowed enough of josywyatt's Range Rovers to have played with heated wheels before, but always thought it was a bit gimmicky.  But I'm converted now, and it really hit home when I took the Battlebus to the ABS meet last night, the frikkin' wheel was frikkin' cold ;D


Nancy boy. :)

I wear string-backed leather driving gloves along with a chest wig. I also drive in seventies pilot shades and have my shirt open to the waist.
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 02 December 2017, 18:56:30
.....and lets not forget the Magnum P.I 'tash' ;)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 02 December 2017, 20:28:06
.... or the medallion!  8)
Title: Re: A month with the big black pussy
Post by: TheBoy on 03 December 2017, 10:28:52
Now its started to get a bit nippy out, to add to my list of likes for the car, the heated steering wheel.  I really do like that.

I'd borrowed enough of josywyatt's Range Rovers to have played with heated wheels before, but always thought it was a bit gimmicky.  But I'm converted now, and it really hit home when I took the Battlebus to the ABS meet last night, the frikkin' wheel was frikkin' cold ;D


Nancy boy. :)

I wear string-backed leather driving gloves along with a chest wig. I also drive in seventies pilot shades and have my shirt open to the waist.
I think I fancy you now ;D