Went to Blackpool yesterday afternoon with a view to staying there a couple of nights with my 13 year old son.
Got there at 2.30. We were back home at 9pm!!!!
Now, if any of you guys live in Blackpool, I apologise in advance. But heck, what happened?
I have never been there before so was under the misconception that it was the life and soul of british holidayville. Having a 13 yo, we headed straight for the pleasure beach with all its magnificent rides. Nearly bought the £29 day ticket online, but decided to have a look first. Glad we did. Pepsi BIG ONE, er closed as were several of the other big rides. In fact, all that was open was the Avalanche and the Iron Bru thing and a few side stalls where you could get 3 goldfish with 3 darts or something, yeah yeah.
So, as the only exciting ride was Avalanche, my lad decided he wanted to go on. 3 tickets. Tickets cost £1 each, making £3. WRONG! 3 tickets @£1 each = £5 in this dump. Minimum spend! What exactly do I do with these two tickets now then? Nothing else open took 2 tickets. Not re-saleable (printed on the back). They will be sent with a suitable letter to the management.
Anyway, enough there. lets see the other parts of holiday heaven.
Blackpool tower! Yay..... er....boooooo. Closed. The piers? Well, open but talk about run down! Cheap tacky stalls selling nasty plastic crap. Slot machines, last seasons video games, and those f***ing machines that grab fluffy toys to get you excited then drop them again. Does anyone ever win?
McDonalds? That was good. But the one in Nottingham is also good. Trams? Not a chance mate. Has nobody realised that the cabin is too small for the stand-up-only drivers who all have a hunch? Donkeys? Er nope. We did consider the horse and carriage along the prom, but this horse gave me a look that said 'you think you back hurts now matey?'.
Never mind, I said. we'll book into the hotel and see what we can do tomorrow. Can we go home was the reply. Good, I thought. My sentiments exactly.
OK, so there were the shows. We did look. There was one with a load of 'STARS' I have never heard of. Another with a lot of rejects from last years X-Factor - alas not the funny entertaining mad ones, just the spoilt brat wannabees who thought they were 'it'. Then the highlight would have been Joe bloody Longthorne impersonating, wait for it....... Shirley Bassey! Well that's new Joe. Only 25 years doing the same act huh?
So, lets sum up this outing. Shabby, second rate, mostly closed and out of date cack.
Home 1, Blackpool Nil!
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Topic: Blackpool - the grumpy old visit (Read 5781 times)