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[TheBoy]

Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk.

[Nick W]

Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk.

The old boy will probably send a sample of his rusty water for you to compare.

[TheBoy]

Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk.

The old boy will probably send a sample of his rusty water for you to compare.

Not again

[TheBoy]

Oh oppsit

[TheBoy]

Whats the chances of that 

[Sir Tigger KC]

Doubt he'll be of much use to be honest TB, as I don't think he gets to the loo in time very often. 

[TheBoy]

Mrs TB! Heeeellllpppppp!

[TheBoy]

Deciding "the leak" from my unclenched cheeks had finished, I got up and flushed...   ...and its splashed. Everywhere.

'dangle berries'.

[YZ250]

Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

No. You lose the ability to clench when you get old.................. apparently. 

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!

It didn't by any chance splash on to your MV6 did it? 

[Crazycarzowner]

Well known to bung anything up!!!! 

[YZ250]

Deciding "the leak" from my unclenched cheeks had finished, I got up and flushed...   ...and its splashed. Everywhere.

'dangle berries'.

Did the seat lid act as a splash-back. 

The ultimate torture is a slow closing toilet seat. Your guts is churning and you watch in horror as the piggin toilet seat casually takes an eternity to lower. I've killed a few slow closures hinges by forcing it down to speed it up. 

[STEMO]

Nowt to be worried or ashamed about, lad. It's a natural body function and a good clearout now and again does you good. Just make sure you're within jumping distance of a toilet when the urge strikes.
Keep taking the nagas 

[STEMO]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

[TheBoy]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

Will I ever pass solids again?

[STEMO]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

Will I ever pass solids again?

Don't worry...it will pass.......

again and again and again......

[Elite Pete]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

 
Your a star

[05omegav6]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

Will I ever pass solids again?

Stop being such a manmouse

[Tony H]

An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up.....

Will I ever pass solids again?

Get plenty of fiber down your neck vegetables, pulses, beans,fruit and wholemeal bread.That should thicken it up a bit 

[Webby the Bear]

the Impreza owners club I hear are all talking about how they mount their intercoolers at jaunty angles using cable ties (jdm they call it  ).

The omega owners on the other hand are discussing bowel movements, incontinence and how their "rusty" waste splashes up their ball bags when it falls down the loo.

Sadly I am more akin to the latter group of old coffin dodgers... 

[Rods2]

For a proper clear out use hospital industrialist strength laxatives. The liquid was clear at the end, ready for having a camera shoved up my jacksie.

The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear.

[Sir Tigger KC]

For a proper clear out use hospital industrialist strength laxatives. The liquid was clear at the end, ready for having a camera shoved up my jacksie.

The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear.

Good news! 

[aaronjb]

The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear.

I don't remember the sedatives doing diddley for me.. I do remember the camera 'rounding the last corner' though.. didn't feel the biopsy, just the camera bumping into my insides repeatedly..

[Marks DTM Calib]

Ah yes, I don't recall a sedative but I do recall a muscle relaxant so I didn't try and bite down onto the said NHS property as it found its way where nothing should ever go.

I also recall the barium enema and being inflated like a balloon!

[tooleater]

Wimps your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   

[Entwood]

Wimps your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   

Dead easy now... technology has made the tube very much smaller than it used to be ... been having this done every year for the past 15 years ... the "old" tubes were the size of a co-ax cable ... and they really DID hurt..that was usually a general anaesthetic ... then they got a bit smaller and it was a local anaesthetic or gel, modern ones you don't even get the gel now ... just a "tweak" as it goes past the prostate ....

Picture quality has also changed a huge amount .. grainy, low quality, black & white is now high definition, full colour to the extent you can see individual veins, and the different colour of the scar tissue from previous operations .... quite fascinating really ...   

[05omegav6]

Isn't morbid curiosity wonderful...

[tooleater]

' you may a sudden urge to urinate when we remove the garden hose from your willy

[STEMO]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

[Sir Tigger KC]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

Yes we've heard it's very slack and flaccid! 

[YZ250]

Wimps your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   

Dead easy now... technology has made the tube very much smaller than it used to be ... been having this done every year for the past 15 years ... the "old" tubes were the size of a co-ax cable ... and they really DID hurt..that was usually a general anaesthetic ... then they got a bit smaller and it was a local anaesthetic or gel, modern ones you don't even get the gel now ... just a "tweak" as it goes past the prostate ....

Picture quality has also changed a huge amount .. grainy, low quality, black & white is now high definition, full colour to the extent you can see individual veins, and the different colour of the scar tissue from previous operations .... quite fascinating really ...   

Only ever had the gel myself. Used to have a medical every three years to operate the forklifts/manitou's etc and I always failed the urine dip test due to blood in my urine. Had to go through the same rigmarole every three years and touchwood they've not found anything sinister.
I don't mind the test, it's the flames that you piss afterwards which I find uncomfortable. 

[Shackeng]

Thank you all for sharing.

[BazaJT]

Rusty water?Sounds like poor maintenance to me.Suggest checking alcohol concentration levels and adjusting upwards if necessary.Make not cure you but you'll be too bladdered to care

[05omegav6]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

Yes we've heard it's very short and flaccid! 

Either of those would suffice, but both is greedy

[redelitev6]

  Sounds like some one protests too much , a pretty young thing in a nurses uniform shoving things up your jacksey ? people pay good money for that sort of thing   

[Tony H]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve?

[Lazydocker]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve?

I thought he was talking about his arsehole

[05omegav6]

You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine. 

You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve?

I thought he was talking about his arsehole

110mm drain is a bloody big hose

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Sounds like some one protests too much , a pretty young thing in a nurses uniform shoving things up your jacksey ? people pay good money for that sort of thing 

I keep getting a mental image of Bernard Bresslaw.