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[Varche]

Note to Gordon (or successor) copied to Boris.

I have just seen the opening of the Olympics in China. Pretty impressive eh! Shame you weren’t there to wish our athletes well.

I know that you have people working on the details for the 2012 opening ceremony but here are a few useful ideas. Apologies if you are already using some.

1. We need to cover our history. Do the good stuff (Spanish Armada, Waterloo, Battle of Britain, British Empire, Iraq war). We can use the armed forces for those displays to save money. Might be an idea to avoid slavery trade, drugs, aid and weapons to despots etc.

2. We need a wall. Hadrian’s  is a good contender but needs a bit of restoration. Use prisoners on work gangs. If there is enough time a new wall around London or the South Coast would also be handy.

3. I see the Chinese only have 56 ethnic groups. We have lots more and we need to make a big thing of that. Geordies/Newcastle Brown, Yorkshire/cricket, Cornish/Pasties and so on. We could give everyone a cup of tea as they enter the stadium.

4. Heritage and culture. Morris dancers, druids, foxhunting, cheese rolling, welly wanging and crown green bowls will be representative of our national pastimes. Get in plenty of stuff about castles and old buildings. The Americans love that sort of stuff.


5. Environment. By 2012 environmentally friendly, green and so on will be well and truly  branded on people. Parades of electric city cars with a backdrop film of London when proper cars were widely owned would be a starter. Plenty of other material there.

6 Modern day. We could get a pretty good display of synchronised prams propelled by single mothers. They are already on benefits so could rehearse for the next four years for free.

7.  Rather than fireworks which will cost too much we could blow up the Millenium Dome at the end of the opening ceremony. Fresh start for those that thought it a waste of money or was much maligned. Best have an exclusion zone around it and keep it fairly hush.

[Banjax]

 

[HerefordElite]

 
Spot on varche, i watched the ceremony yesterday and thought to myself how on earth are we going to top that? i'm now dreading 2012 it's going to be an embarasment of monumental scale

 

[Andy B]

Brilliant!

^^^^ what he said. I bet those planning our Olympics were thinking .... 'Oh! f***' when they watched the opening ceremony  

[Cumbria]

4 years time we will be be the the laughing stock of the world. If we arent already.