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Author Topic: The Friday Joke - on a Saturday  (Read 856 times)

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Chopsdad

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The Friday Joke - on a Saturday
« on: 09 December 2006, 11:21:25 »
I was out last night and can't believe there's no Friday joke... so here's one for you all...

An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument you like" An Englishman gives him a guitar, which he plays better than Hendrix. An Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton. A Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes.  The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says "What's wrong - can ye no play it?" The octopus replies "Play it? - I'm gonna opps her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!
« Last Edit: 09 December 2006, 11:22:02 by Chopsdad »
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bob.dent

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Re: The Friday Joke - on a Saturday
« Reply #1 on: 09 December 2006, 11:27:00 »
 ;D ;D ;D An oldie but goodie.

Well there was a sort of Friday joke, but the thread was called "A true story - one for the Jocks" :P
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Salty

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Re: The Friday Joke - on a Saturday
« Reply #2 on: 09 December 2006, 11:53:53 »
 ;D ;D The old ones are the best.
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Salty

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Re: The Friday Joke - on a Saturday
« Reply #3 on: 10 December 2006, 07:01:18 »
One for today,

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones dozed off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again nodded off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your a*s!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.
« Last Edit: 10 December 2006, 07:03:57 by salty »
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