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Messages - Pitchfork

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 168
1
General Discussion Area / Re: Discovery of a new element
« on: 12 March 2013, 08:49:13 »
Reliable sources inform us that Oxford University researchers will report in a very few years that both governmentium and administratium, if not continuously catalysed by a sufficiency of money, and if not allowed to circulate around the globe on subsidised freebies degrade after a short half-life into a parasitic pseudo-element known as consultantium.

Consultantium appears to be attracted to isolated clusters of its parent element (local governmentium) saturated with inert morons and discarded pillocks which normally sustain each other by a mutual exchange of meaningless paperwork (bureaucraticum).

When called upon to do useful work the morons and pillocks go into a panic-striken tailspin and throw off vast amounts of money which is channelled (via spin-doctors) into the maws of the consultantium network which provides soothing policy documents, spurious targets and futile outcomes in return.

(Harrow council just spent £18million on consultants in as many months, and is now 'saving' money by forcing the closure of the Citizens Advice Bureau)

2
Superb!

3
General Discussion Area / Re: Insurance comparison sites
« on: 21 September 2012, 18:43:02 »
I always change a couple of digits on my phone number when using the comparison websites to save days of calls and texts asking why I hadn't taken out insurance ::)

Yep. DO NOT give them your real contact details. Every insurer in the world will end up with them, and pester you constantly. >:(
I can better that I simply tell them that I died 2 days ago & I'm in the middle of arranging my funeral

Miss Vamps comes in very handy with these calls.......'Dad's not in' whatever time of day, she seems to have sussed when I should take a call..... :y :y :y
I can better that I simply tell them that I died 2 days ago & I'm in the process of arranging my funeral

4
General Discussion Area / Re: kids and growing up!!!!
« on: 06 September 2012, 19:01:46 »
why do kids grow up so quickly!!!
today it was my boys first day of senior school only seems like yesterday he was born :(
just reminds me of when I started senior school, those truly were happy days :y :y

Miss Vamps starts in year 8 tomorrow, as you say, where does the time go............ :( :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oBMDcLf6WA


5
General Discussion Area / Re: What ever happened to
« on: 31 August 2012, 21:21:45 »
Alvin Stardust took the role of the Childcatcher in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang the Palladium in 2005. He has also been in Godspell, David Copperfield (the musical) & played Billy Butlin in the Butlin Story

6
General Discussion Area / Re: Virginity Cream?
« on: 28 August 2012, 17:31:21 »
I like the quote 'it fills a gap'  :-X

7
Omega General Help / Re: 2.5td EGR pipe
« on: 24 August 2012, 18:50:51 »
Not uncommon for them to fail there.
I had to replace mine twice, it fractured at both ends in turn!

8
Aldermaston

9
General Discussion Area / Re: queens concert
« on: 05 June 2012, 19:17:23 »
From a technical angle I thought that the sound mix was poor, not at all balanced

10
Omega General Help / Re: vibration
« on: 31 May 2012, 17:25:25 »
Your tyres all ok? I had a rear tyre with a bulge on the inside wall that made driving at similar speeds a problem. I was scratching my head until I got home and got under properly to find it.
I had that on the Tractor Estate (but did not know what the problem was) until a rear tyre exploded on the M40 with the car fully laden with heavy PA gear

11
General Discussion Area / Re: Deer strike
« on: 20 May 2012, 14:13:36 »
Deer Strike?
I didn't know that they had a Union! ::)

 ;D

They're on a hiding to nothing in Bucks. Its bluer than a Roy Chubby Brown gig.
Was that a deliberate pun?

12
General Discussion Area / Re: Deer strike
« on: 18 May 2012, 17:52:44 »
Deer Strike?
I didn't know that they had a Union! ::)

13
Omega General Help / Re: Mechanic / Garage nr Basingstoke
« on: 17 May 2012, 18:36:41 »
Gareth at Allens Garage in Tadley is your man for Omega issues

14
General Discussion Area / Re: My Sister Amy
« on: 06 May 2012, 15:22:14 »
When I had my 10 weeks in hospital in Belfast in the 70,s we were given a can of guiness each every day.
There were 6 of us in the ward.One bloke (a well known bike racer with many many fractures in his legs)loved guinness the rest of us werent really bothered with the stuff,so he had 6 cans of guinness a day. ;D ;D
He got absolutely sh1tfaced one night and decided it was time for him to go home. The nurses had to physically restrain him from cutting  all the strings to his traction. ::)
Happy days.Cant see it happening nowadays.

Great news about the girl though.Modern medicine can be a wonderful thing. :y
So can Guinness! ;)
When I had my 10 weeks in hospital in Belfast in the 70,s we were given a can of guiness each every day.
There were 6 of us in the ward.One bloke (a well known bike racer with many many fractures in his legs)loved guinness the rest of us werent really bothered with the stuff,so he had 6 cans of guinness a day. ;D ;D
He got absolutely sh1tfaced one night and decided it was time for him to go home. The nurses had to physically restrain him from cutting  all the strings to his traction. ::)
Happy days.Cant see it happening nowadays.

Great news about the girl though.Modern medicine can be a wonderful thing. :y
So can Guinness! ;)

15
General Discussion Area / Re: Russian cut and shut!!!!
« on: 20 April 2012, 19:51:46 »
It wouldn't pass an MOT - It had an air freshener hanging from the mirror! ;D

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