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[STEMO]

The pavement is being dug up for virgin media's fibre. We live in an end terrace with a side gate at the rear and they have fenced us in right around the corner. Let me out 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Where there is blame there is a claim.

[STEMO]

Where there is blame there is a claim.

After further consideration, I have decided that they have done me a favour. Wifey cannot go shopping. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

How does your mutt take a dump?

[STEMO]

How does your mutt take a dump?

In the upstairs toilet.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

How does your mutt take a dump?

In the upstairs toilet.

Ah....yes. Silly me.

Make sure it washes it's paws when finished.

[TheBoy]

The thick contractors going the groundworks here about 2 years after we moved in.  So they set everything up on Friday afternoon, involving fencing of all our drives, blocking most cars in.

Upon suggesting this was silly, one little twerp suggested if I needed a car over the weekend, I drove it over my neighbours 4 day old lawn (yup, they laid the lawns before finishing the heavy plant stuff), or "borrow" a neighbours car who haven't been able to get on their drive yet.  He weren't budging on it. And went a little mad when I kicked a fence piece to one side and rode my bike over his string.  He was gonna try and land one I reckon, but as I still had my helmet on, I think he decided against it. I just walked away to diffuse it.

So after someone tripped over the tight string they'd put in place ready to align the dropped kerbs a few doors down, a few of us gathered it all up, barriers, string, and dangerously discarded kerbs, and moved it to a quiet pavement area, and guarded it off.  Little twerp Monday morning was blowing his stack.

[STEMO]

"You really can't do that, it's dangerous"

"I've got a permit, I can do as I like".

That's about the size of it round here.

Can't wait for whichever poor chap/chapess rings me up to sell me the service. My opening gambit will be the dangerous and unprofessional behaviour of their contractors. Then I will progress to the beardy bastard who lives in the British Virgin Islands for tax purposes whilst issuing edicts about how we should remain in Europe because it's good for business. His business, I guess.

My missus said she is leaving the room when that call comes.

[Lizzie Zoom]

"You really can't do that, it's dangerous"

"I've got a permit, I can do as I like".

That's about the size of it round here.

Can't wait for whichever poor chap/chapess rings me up to sell me the service. My opening gambit will be the dangerous and unprofessional behaviour of their contractors. Then I will progress to the beardy bastard who lives in the British Virgin Islands for tax purposes whilst issuing edicts about how we should remain in Europe because it's good for business. His business, I guess.

My missus said she is leaving the room when that call comes.

You mean to say you haven't spliced in a cable to your front room for a free connection?

[STEMO]

"You really can't do that, it's dangerous"

"I've got a permit, I can do as I like".

That's about the size of it round here.

Can't wait for whichever poor chap/chapess rings me up to sell me the service. My opening gambit will be the dangerous and unprofessional behaviour of their contractors. Then I will progress to the beardy bastard who lives in the British Virgin Islands for tax purposes whilst issuing edicts about how we should remain in Europe because it's good for business. His business, I guess.

My missus said she is leaving the room when that call comes.

You mean to say you haven't spliced in a cable to your front room for a free connection?

Fibre optics? Nah.
Red wire, black wire...easy. 

[dave the builder]

"You really can't do that, it's dangerous"

"I've got a permit, I can do as I like".

That's about the size of it round here.

Can't wait for whichever poor chap/chapess rings me up to sell me the service. My opening gambit will be the dangerous and unprofessional behaviour of their contractors. Then I will progress to the beardy bastard who lives in the British Virgin Islands for tax purposes whilst issuing edicts about how we should remain in Europe because it's good for business. His business, I guess.

My missus said she is leaving the room when that call comes.

You mean to say you haven't spliced in a cable to your front room for a free connection?

Fibre optics? Nah.
Red wire, black wire...easy. 

that's just the street lighting cable ,to run your house electrics off
try tapping into next doors router for free tv and interweb

[Doctor Gollum]

Put all the fencing on Craigslist and Free cycle... It will be gone before breakfast 

[Nick W]

Put all the fencing on Craigslist and Free cycle... It will be gone before breakfast 

Hang a FOR SALE £75 sign on it. It will be gone by the time you walk back in your door....