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Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 163277 times)

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78bex

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #945 on: 19 August 2019, 00:34:31 »

A very forgetful fella calls the cops to report a dead man on his property
The cop says, "How do you know he`s dead" ;" Well I don`t  know if he`s actually dead, I just assumed he was dead.........He`s been lying out there now for about a month or could be longer I forget.
The cop say`s , "where do you live, we`ll send someone over" ; "well I used to live in the next street & I can clearly remember my old address......... let me call you back.
The cop say`s , " why do you need to call us back ; "well it`s gonna take a bit of time to drag this sucker over to the next street  :)
« Last Edit: 19 August 2019, 00:42:31 by 78bex »
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Raeturbo

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #946 on: 19 August 2019, 22:57:44 »

Lady walks into a butchers and says, ‘you’ve got a pigs head in the window’. Butcher replies, that’s   Not a pigs head, it’s a mirror.
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Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #947 on: 20 August 2019, 09:09:07 »

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets
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My doctor has diagnosed me as paranoid. I wonder who else he has told?

Andy B

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #948 on: 20 August 2019, 10:18:38 »

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets

There are some easily offended people out there .....  :-X
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718
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Doctor Gollum

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #949 on: 20 August 2019, 10:48:30 »

Best joke from the fringe...

I keep shouting Cauliflower , Broccoli . I think I have florets

There are some easily offended people out there .....  :-X
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718
https://images.app.goo.gl/xP3jLAuAyxXhTmos5
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Onanists always think outside the box.

Raeturbo

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #950 on: 02 September 2019, 14:30:10 »

A group of HELL'S ANGELS, NORTH Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
??
BUDDY, their leader, a old navy guy in his 70???s, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says
??
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?
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She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!
??
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," Buddy also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked,
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"Well, before you jump, Babe . . . why don't you give ol' Buddy here your best last kiss?"
??
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
??
After they breathlessly finished, Buddy gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
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"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
??
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
??
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
 
 
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Migv6 le Frog Fan

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #951 on: 06 September 2019, 19:48:07 »

I said "Alexa, what do women want ?"  The bloody thing hasn't shut up for the last 7 hours.
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Plastic Welsh hatchbacks are awesome.

dave the builder

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #952 on: 06 September 2019, 19:57:01 »

I said "Alexa, what do women want ?"  The bloody thing hasn't shut up for the last 7 hours.
just submerse her in water for a couple of hours  :y
or unplug the Amazon device  ::)
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Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #953 on: 08 September 2019, 14:02:14 »

Will my Continental Quilt work after Brexit?
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My doctor has diagnosed me as paranoid. I wonder who else he has told?
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