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Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 145398 times)

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henryd

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #930 on: 14 November 2018, 18:13:17 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #931 on: 20 November 2018, 13:55:29 »

I was standin next to this bloke in the changing room at my local gym yesterday when a mobile phone rings. He was getting dry so he puts it on loudspeaker. I thought straightaway wot a smug bastard!

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the gym?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the Metro Centre now and found this beautiful leather coat.

It' s only 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2018 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking 950,000".

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand.

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this oppsin phone belongs to?"
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Sir Tigger QC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #932 on: 25 November 2018, 16:39:13 »

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Shackeng

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #933 on: 20 December 2018, 19:47:31 »

Apologies if this has been on before. I still think it is funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttrzG5F4R3o
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78bex

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #934 on: 03 January 2019, 23:33:39 »

2 men in advancing years are walking thru a farmers field & hear a little voice calling them

They look down & a talking frog tells them she has been cursed by a wicked witch

If one of the men picks her up & kisses her, he will be rewarded by young maiden who will serve him for the rest of his life.

The only man who can manage, bends down & picks up the frog: he stares at it & slips it into his pocket & the 2 men continue walking thru the field.

After some time the other man says; "you lucky bugger; if I was you I`d be kissing that frog."
After some thought the man takes the frog out of pocket & says; "no at this point in my live I`d prefer to have a talking frog "
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Sir Tigger QC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #935 on: 03 February 2019, 23:05:07 »

Viagra!



It won't make you James Bond.  :( 



But it will make you Roger Moore!  :y
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RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

JC is not The Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!
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