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[bob.dent]

Top Four 2009 Adult Jokes   
Fourth Place :

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as
soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
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Third Place :
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey,
I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh...'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
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Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory.   
He had been employed there for a number of years when
he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion..
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
   
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist
to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.   
He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife
could see at once that something was seriously wrong..
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
'Yes, I did..' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what happened?'
'I got fired.'
'No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
'Oh....she got fired too. '
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 
Winner:

Oh, you want to know what the winning joke was......I'll post it later!! [smiley=evil.gif]

[Elite Pete]

Top Four 2009 Adult Jokes   
Fourth Place :

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as
soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your thingy is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
---------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------

 
Third Place :
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey,
I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh...'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory.   
He had been employed there for a number of years when
he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion..
He had an urge to stick his thingy into the pickle slicer.
   
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist
to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.   
He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife
could see at once that something was seriously wrong..
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my thingy into the pickle slicer?'
'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
'Yes, I did..' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what happened?'
'I got fired.'
'No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
'Oh....she got fired too. '
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 
Winner:

Oh, you want to know what the winning joke was......I'll post it later!! [smiley=evil.gif]

Tottenham beating the might Leeds at your gaff

[bob.dent]

Oh, you want to know what the winning joke was......I'll post it later!! [smiley=evil.gif]

Tottenham beating the might Leeds at your gaff

Hmmm......how are Northwich and Chester doing these days?

[Elite Pete]

Oh, you want to know what the winning joke was......I'll post it later!! [smiley=evil.gif]

Tottenham beating the might Leeds at your gaff

Hmmm......how are Northwich and Chester doing these days?

Don't give a damn about Northwich but Chester are doomed, not suprising really with a -25 points to start the season  . Come on the mighty Leeds 

[waspy]

Good ones

[bob.dent]

OK, here's the winning joke (apparently) - funny, but I've heard better.

Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said.   
'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered...  'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied,
'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.   
'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
===============================================

[waspy]

  Runner up's better

[Stevie-blunder]

Good ones Bob 

[johnnycboy]

Bob you been saving up the xmas cracker jokes again

[Vamps]

Not this one.....

[Proz]

  good ones