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[TheBoy]

I’ve had an absolute Lady bits of a day

 

[dave the builder]

Did you have to drive the Zafira         

tomorrow is another NEW day 

[TheBoy]

Tomorrow I WILL have to drive the battlebus

[YZ250]

Tomorrow I WILL have to drive the battlebus

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good. 

[Rangie]

Sounds like a beer & a steak would be in order.

[TheBoy]

For those unfamiliar with Kevin Bloody Wilson, and are not easily offended by an Aussie folk singer…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5Kq0hJwzY

[TheBoy]

Sounds like a beer & a steak would be in order.

Only food walking distance is McDonald’s, which I think I’ll pass on

[Doctor Gollum]

Seeing as the Beefeater next door is closed until Monday, it's McDongals for tea and breakfast... 

[dave the builder]

No cup of Tea n chocolate cake on the potty then tonight

[Doctor Gollum]

For those unfamiliar with Kevin Bloody Wilson, and are not easily offended by an Aussie…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5Kq0hJwzY

[TheBoy]

No cup of Tea n chocolate cake on the potty then tonight

No, I missed that treat tonight.  Instead, as I scoffed the colonels secret recipe, my potty events this evening involved listening to a bloke in the next cubicle who really wasn’t a well man

[Sir Tigger KC]

Ha yes Kevin Bloody Wilson was funny.   

The other funny Aussie of the era was Rodney Rude. 

[Doctor Gollum]

Ha yes Kevin Bloody Wilson was funny.   

The other funny Aussie of the era was Rodney Rude. 

Jim Jeffries is a personal favourite...

https://youtu.be/4mmJwa7hm1k NWS, obviously

[dave the builder]

you didn't give is 3 rings to let us know you got back safe 
Hope all is well 

[Doctor Gollum]

you didn't give is 3 rings to let us know you got back safe 
Hope all is well 

Probably still on the potty after his Kerosene flavoured chicken

[henryd]

So what have you done to the black pussy that killed it ?

[TheBoy]

you didn't give is 3 rings to let us know you got back safe 
Hope all is well 

All good, went straight to bed when I got home.  Didn't even shower off london before going to bed.

[TheBoy]

So what have you done to the black pussy that killed it ?

You know the pink sticky liquid in the engine?  Apparently it doesn't work too well if its all dumped in a big huge lump on the A3.

As to why, well, the engine is French. Ask Albs how good the french are at keeping fluids in engines


Looks like I'll be ordering a replacement stat housing, as a tunnie style gaffer tape job isn't going to hold all the pieces together .  Just need to pull it apart first, to confirm

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

Should have kept the Omega. 

[Nick W]

Should have kept the Omega. 

Yeah, they never leak essential fluids. Although you do have to remove the engine, cooling system and diff to state that.

[johnnydog]

For those unfamiliar with Kevin Bloody Wilson, and are not easily offended by an Aussie folk singer…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5Kq0hJwzY

Another of his masterpieces - brilliant! Now the kids are grown they agree too...
https://youtu.be/qz_qE925uJY

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

Should have kept the Omega. 

Yeah, they never leak essential fluids. Although you do have to remove the engine, cooling system and diff to state that.

In 15 years I have been let down twice by Omegas. Aux. belt tensioner collapsed first time. Crank sensor gave out after 170,000 miles the second.
If I was going to spend serious money on a newish car, I wouldnt touch JLR products with a barge pole.

[Nick W]

Should have kept the Omega. 

Yeah, they never leak essential fluids. Although you do have to remove the engine, cooling system and diff to state that.

In 15 years I have been let down twice by Omegas. Aux. belt tensioner collapsed first time. Crank sensor gave out after 170,000 miles the second.

I didn't say they're particularly unreliable, just incontinent. I've yet to see a V6 that wasn't filthy from a combination of oil and coolant leaks.


And I'd buy a Jaguar long before a Mercedes, BMW or Audi.

[Doctor Gollum]

BMWs are ok as long as they don't have VANOS and you treat all the plastic parts as service items.

But I agree, Jag goes ahead of VAG in the preference list.

[Nick W]

BMWs are ok as long as they don't have VANOS and you treat all the plastic parts as service items.

But I agree, Jag goes ahead of VAG in the preference list.

They've been using VANOS on I6s since about 1994, so that means going back to totally used-up cars. And the M50 badly needed VANOS. Nor should we forget that head gasket failure killed a lot of the earlier sixes.


The plastic cooling parts are due to prioritising production costs over even short term durability, which has killed off bigger manufacturers that didn't have The Ultimate Marketing Machine behind them. BMW is still a small niche company compared to most car manufacturers, so their continued survival is actually quite impressive.

[Doctor Gollum]

I was being slightly facetious 

The M54 is a pretty decent lump and they actually drive well. But I would rather push a BMW whilst eating mashed potato, semolina and custard* than suffer a VAG product.

*The mere thought of any of those makes me feel queasy.

[johnnydog]

I was being slightly facetious 

But I would rather push a BMW whilst eating mashed potato, semolina and custard* than suffer a VAG product.

*The mere thought of any of those makes me feel queasy.

If you feel so queasy about VAG products, do you have any real time experience of their vehicles to make these judgements or comments?
I have owned 3 different Audi performance models since 2007 and 3 others in the family, and they are, in my experience, an excellent product with good engines and build quality. I'm not saying they are fault free, but is any vehicle?
If your thoughts are so low about a brand, surely some evidence or reasons, or even actual knowledge or experience to back up your thoughts would no doubt be welcomed.......

[Doctor Gollum]

In no particular order:

The most unreliable new car I have ever owned was a VAG product. Not helped by utterly incompetent main dealers. Recovered more times in two years than the ex plod Omega that replaced it, and I owned that seven years and it covered twice the mileage of the new car in that time.

On which planet is fitting the timing gear at the back of the engine a good idea? And then selling the lump as a sound marine engine. With stern drives.

Had the misfortune to get roped into a couple of potentially straightforward jobs on next doors Octavia VRS. Thanks to the ridiculous way the various excess of plumbing is routed and attached, everything is either visible but inaccessible or accessible but not until you have pulled the air intake and half removed the fuel plumbing. And as for the rear discs, the vented ones require the calipers to be removed to get the discs out. Only you can't get to the calipers without removing the lower shock bolt and dropping the arm, only there isn't enough room to remove the lower shock bolt because it was fitted before the hub.

The 3.6 petrol sounds like a three cylinder diesel, and the injector clatter is so bad that you feel it as much as you hear it. Even inside the car.

Hit any larger VAG product a couple of inches behind the NCAP side impact point and it will probably tear the floor where the rear squab crossmember is welded to it. 2/3 door cars are less prone to this.

A set of injectors on the 4 pot diesel cost more than a new Omega engine.

Oh, and I don't like them. Which is my opinion, because that's how I feel about them. That's why it's called an opinion. Not asking you to agree with it, or even understand it.

[johnnydog]

So you don't like them .
You are certainly entitled to your opinion.
There are millions of satisfied customers / owners, including repeat customers worldwide of VAG products.
Having personally owned numerous different makes in the VAG Group since 2001,  and driven literally 1000's of them, from Seat to Porsche, I have never experienced any issues worthy of debate with regard to poor design / manufacture, remotely like those you outlined.
Some have issues with certain aspects of particular vehicles based on experiences, no matter what make, whereas others have good experiences of the same with trouble free motoring. Maybe you are one of the unlucky ones.

[Doctor Gollum]

Brainwashed sheeple springs to mind and I would wager most are on PCPs

Arguably the Altea XL wasn't designed to manage 135k miles in 24 months. And for a five seater quasi estate the suspension is identical to everything from an A3/Leon to the Passat estate. You only have to glance at an Octavia Paramedic car to see just how inadequate it is.

On the plus side, the underside plastics are cheap to replace. 

It served a purpose, but I wouldn't repeat the exercise. And should I find myself in the market for a nearly new executive express, it won't be VAG. That said, for a posh Superb, Bentley make a nice saloon.

[johnnydog]

Brainwashed sheeple springs to mind and I would wager most are on PCPs

The vast majority of car 'ownership' today is on a PCP, Solutions, Options or however it is dressed up. Running a car without ownership.
Some are loyal to a brand, not necessarily because of PCP's, and that applies to all makes, but they are hardly ''brain washed".
I have never had a PCP on any car, but I don't really see the relevance of a PCP and your criticism of VAG products.
My daughter works on the front line with the North West Ambulance Service, and actually the Skoda Octavia is very well recieved.

[Doctor Gollum]

They obviously don't load them as heavily as SECAMB then... All the ones around here look to be dragging the rear bumpers.

Loaded, the Altea would ground on every speed hump and crest, as would the Octavia and Golf estates. The hatches only (just) get away with it by not being quite so commodious.

Again your confusing fact with opinion. Also, you clearly don't quite 'read' tongue in cheek. Take everything literally if you want, but it will only wind you up

My aversion to PCPs etc is hard won experience. And a mistake that I will endeavour to avoid. Permanently. If you require explanation of how making significant payments to drive a 'nice' new car/impress people is a bad thing then I will gladly point you towards some clarity on the subject.

The only reason Skoda taxis are so prolific is because they are cheap to buy, in no small part due to the purchasing power of a couple of taxi wholesalers who were able to retail new Octavia/Superb on 6-7 year leases for the 60% of the rrp. Main dealers had little choice but to price match or lose business. And suddenly everyone and their dog either drives a Skoda or aspire to Audis 

There are better cars, but people seem to be stuck on the whole budget VW marketing wank.

[Doctor Gollum]

To add, if I wanted to buy a newish appliance, then a Hyundai i40 ticks alot of boxes. But for significantly less its possible to buy, and run, much nicer cars with a bit of age on them.

And if I suddenly found that I had a spare £40k to spend on something fast and comfortable, then it would be enough to restomod something interesting without an S-line badge.

[johnnydog]

You do get a little 'touchy'.... Especially when
someone doesn't agree or go along with your opinions? You are very self opinionated, condesceding and obviously have more time on your hands than the majority of good members on here. Most of what you come out with is just your opinion, but you put it across as if it is gospel and dare anyine make judgement or have an opinion of their own or factul knowledge that differs from yours. Godforbid. As has been said before, I suspect many members on here have been driven away by your approach to their Omega problems and your belief that you are superior in your knowledge in subjects when quite often you talk quite frankly a load of 'dangle berries' a lot of the time.
Why don't you buy another Omega ( it is an Omega Owners Forum after all... ) so that you would have a bit more credibility and could further vent some of your frustrations keeping it on the road rather than being a tap room lawyer or coined another way - a back seat driver.
There is someone else on here going the same way as you which doesn't bode well - I think the majority know who that is. In fact I may just keep to other forums I visit that actually discuss topics and give helpful advice as, I believe, was the initial concept of them.
Nah, I think I'll stay. But you do talk a lot of shite the majority of the time. And you need to take a long hard look at yourself and they way you respond to Omega problems that you think are basic or trivial, but others think are worthy of seeking help or advice.
Nuff said....
Back to Kev8n 'Bloody' Wilson then.....

[henryd]

My own experience of VAG differs greatly DG, my Touareg was bought seven years ago with 130k on the dial but good history. its now on 175k and I have just had to fit an injector to it which is its first major repair  with me other than routine maintenance,probably half of the miles covered during my ownership have been pulling 1800 kg of pikey palace around which is why I bought it in the first place,it replaced a woefully unreliable Discovery 

[Doctor Gollum]

Eight Omegas is enough for one lifetime 

My 'approach' to Omega issues is based on personal experience either with my own cars or those of other people that I have worked on.

That such experience is different to someone elses doesn't make it wrong.

Besides life would be incredibly tedious if we all thought the same...

[Doctor Gollum]

My own experience of VAG differs greatly DG, my Touareg was bought seven years ago with 130k on the dial but good history. its now on 175k and I have just had to fit an injector to it which is its first major repair  with me other than routine maintenance,probably half of the miles covered during my ownership have been pulling 1800 kg of pikey palace around which is why I bought it in the first place,it replaced a woefully unreliable Discovery 

Can't argue with that 

It's obviously served you well.

[johnnydog]

Eight Omegas is enough for one lifetime 

Eight. Very good. But when you enjoy a particular car, in this case Omegas, they do seem to breed..... .
I have just picked up another 3.2 Elite saloon (silver of course.. ) being sold for scrap but in reality just as the keys could not be located and haven't turned up in over 4 years, so it was offered to me for scrap value. A quick once over reveals it is very solid in all the right places, no wheel arch or rear sill rot, and solid chassis rails. Just short of 80k and a good previous MOT history. A very genuine and original car.
Some buffoon unfortunately has tried to gain access by removing the drivers door lock completely from the plate and partially damaging the door card, but then resorted to smashing the rear nearside quarterlight. Three doors are now unlocked but the drivers door remains locked so it appears the car was just locked, not deadlocked, so I am interested in the recent posts in another topic about unlocking the drivers door without a key....
I have established the ignition barrel is the same as the original, and got a plain key cut to the code which has released the steering lock. Need now to get a proper key, and get it coded etc. to progress it further.
That brings my total ownership upto 13 Omegas (not all at the same time!). Now could that be classed as an obsession - as my wife often comments on....?

[Doctor Gollum]

Three at once was my limit

If you have a spare 3.2, just swap the various parts over from that...

You need, from a single car:

Engine ECU
Transponder ring
Key with chip and remote
Drivers door lock barrel
Ignition barrel
Remote ecu

Alternatively, if you have the V5/Carpass, then you can get original coded keys/chips/remotes from VX.

If the door isn't deadlocked it should open. You may find that in the course of buggering about, they've disconnected the rods from the latch.

I don't understand why people think that breaking the quarterlight is a a good idea. It is twice the work than the main side glass as that has to come out to get the new quarter glass in

[johnnydog]

I have two options.
1) Ihave a 3.2 saloon as a breaker with all the bits you list and two keys.
2) A local key shop that specialises in replacement keys (recommended by the parts chap at VX) will do a new replacement blade to the original no/ horseshoe, case and chip with programming to the car for £100 all in. Would have to sort the door lock barrell out at some point though. Probably won't be a genuine VX case, but he has a good reputation, so may probably go with that. The replacement key I got to release the ignition (and to confirm it was on its original key) has a transponder chip in it so hopefully he may do that as well. Would have to trailer the car to him however, but he is local to the car  .
Going for the 2nd option means trailoring the car from where it is, back home to strip the parts off two cars and reassembly, then trailoring it back near to its current location to get it programmed etc. But would have two original keys and a door lock / barrell.
For the sake of £100? Plus replacing the door lock / barrell at some point..
The key / ecu set could probably be sold with all the other bits in the future to cover the outlay.
Time or cost? Decisions, decisions.....

[Doctor Gollum]

Fit everything you already have and attach the car pass from the donor (along with a picture of the V5 and chassis plate) to the car pass from the keyless car. Get a copy of the donor car pass if you don't have it.

Sell all the bits from the keyless car. Win win. Free repair and some cash for the bits.

[johnnydog]

Appreciate the info - that is the logical way I guess. More time consuming (due to where the car is) but unfortunately, I haven't got a great deal of spare time at the moment. May just try to unlock the door by pulling up on the exposed rod first; and / or assess what damage has been done by the hamfisted forced removal of the door lock, and then decide. I guess it should unlock relatively easily with no actual barrell in it. Fortunately no damage has been done to the door skin itself.

[Doctor Gollum]

An hours work to pull all the bits, and another hour later to swap them into the keyless car.

All you need to remove to access them is the lid to the engine fuse box, column trim (4mm allen key is the secret to removing the ignition barrel, and once the barrel is out the transponder falls off) driver kick panel, the door card and door handle (doesn't matter if the colour is different as you can swap the barrel into the existing one).

Just be organised and methodical use separate, labelled tubs for each car and write the donor reg on everything as you pull them. 

[Raeturbo]

You two🤣👍

[Sir Tigger KC]

You two🤣👍

Yeh it's like watching make up sex!     

[Doctor Gollum]

You two🤣👍

Yeh it's like watching make up sex!     

Eurgh!!!

 

[johnnydog]

I'm still in a state of shock, but see DG, you can be civil with helpful responses when you really want to be.... . And it brings out the better side of you..

[TheBoy]

I feel a new OOF bromance coming on...

[STEMO]

I feel a new OOF bromance coming on...

Hasn't been one recently, not since me and gixer 

[Rangie]

Makes me feel good when love can blossom in this environment, a bit like Big Eric bending over in the prison showers so sweet.
😂😂😂

[Doctor Gollum]

Makes me feel good when love can blossom in this environment, a bit like Big Eric bending over in the prison showers so sweet.
😂😂😂

Whatever floats your boat. Sodomy isn't my thing... 

[johnnydog]

It's good to clear the air occasionally in any (b)romance.....

[TheBoy]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

[dave the builder]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

holiday snaps ? AKA exceeding the speed limit 
I thought you where a reformed character 

[Nick W]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

holiday snaps ? AKA exceeding the speed limit 
I thought you where a reformed character 

In London it's just as likely to be traffic light or box junction cameras. Especially for impatient drivers

[YZ250]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

Wow, you really didn't have a good day did you.   

[Rangie]

I couldn't believe the 20mph limits on many of the roads in South London on my last visit down there , very easy to be caught out.

[Doctor Gollum]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

holiday snaps ? AKA exceeding the speed limit 
I thought you where a reformed character 

In London it's just as likely to be traffic light or box junction cameras. Especially for impatient drivers

And just as expensive as speeding.

Best approach is to go to court and ask for it to be considered as a single offence on the basis that all the offences were on a single journey and you were spooked by a hooded kid on a scooter... 

[Migv6 le Frog Fan]

Well, the first fine has arrived.  Thats the dead cert one near Brent Cross.  So just waiting to see if I to done at the Wandsworth one.

holiday snaps ? AKA exceeding the speed limit 
I thought you where a reformed character 

In London it's just as likely to be traffic light or box junction cameras. Especially for impatient drivers

And just as expensive as speeding.

Best approach is to go to court and ask for it to be considered as a single offence on the basis that all the offences were on a single journey and you were spooked by a hooded kid on a scooter... hurrying from an XR protest to a BLM protest.

Fixed.