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Author Topic: Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life  (Read 532 times)

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Mr Skrunts

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Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life
« on: 01 July 2008, 10:16:18 »

[size=12]

Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.

People will accept your idea more readily, if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.

A person is as big as the things that make him angry.

In every organization there will be one person who knows what is going on....This person must be fired.

Everything depends.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.

Remember, pain is nature's way of reminding you who's in charge.

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

If you love what you do you'll never work another day in your life.

The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Common sense is not that common.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays, it insists on it.

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.

Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

Observation: I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Observation: The user does not know what he wants until he sees what he gets.

Observation: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Observation: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Observation: When you are over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

Observation: A carelessly planned project will take three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.

Budgets help you worry before you spend money, as well as, afterward.[/size]
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life
« Reply #1 on: 01 July 2008, 10:20:30 »



[size=12]Peter Kay Theories.[/size]  

[size=12]1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
9) Everyone who has just read no.5 has just typed it into a calculator.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. [/size]
« Last Edit: 01 July 2008, 10:20:45 by skruntie »
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Entwood

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Re: Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life
« Reply #2 on: 01 July 2008, 10:20:54 »

I do worry about you ......  :)

"Step outside and admire the world !!"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life
« Reply #3 on: 01 July 2008, 10:23:07 »

Quote
I do worry about you ......  :)

"Step outside and admire the world !!"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

So do I matey....   ;D ;D
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