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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I heard a female scream followed by a florid and breathless woman running away in a state of near panic.

"what is the matter?" I ask

"There is a spider in the bath"

"OK.....put a glass over it and slide a piece of card underneath"

"You won't put a glass over it. This one is the size of a small horse"

 "OFFS....let me see".

To be fair this spider was a 'big lad' and sadly lost a couple of legs under the rim of the glass. He seemed fine with just six though.

Why do women make such a fuss? They are much the same when giving birth.

[BazaJT]

One of my step daughters used to keep tarantulas for a hobby yet her daughter will run a mile from even the tiniest spider!

[STEMO]

I pick them up. They pull their legs in so don't lose any that way. I usually chuck them out of the window, if the back door's open they probably walk straight back in. 

[Andy B]

it's the big house spiders that come out of the cold in autumn/winter ... we've had some that have been big enough to open the door themselves! 

[STEMO]

it's the big house spiders that come out of the cold in autumn/winter ... we've had some that have been big enough to open the door themselves! 

Or knock if they can't 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Wood lice seem to be popular. They often turn up uninvited.

[Rangie]

Flying ants over the last few very hot days.

[TheBoy]

Butterflies. Our house seems to be overrun with the little blighters

[STEMO]

Butterflies. Our house seems to be overrun with the little blighters

I like butterflies, we've had none 
No wasps either, though, which is good.

[STEMO]

Hmmmm........are you sure they weren't moths? You didn't open your purse did you? 

[TheBoy]

Hmmmm........are you sure they weren't moths? You didn't open your purse did you? 

Like any Jag owner, I appear to have mislaid my wallet

[BazaJT]

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

https://youtu.be/7eWIrBOc3zE

Terry Thomas is the sort of cad to own a Jaggggggg.

[Nick W]

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.

You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....

[STEMO]

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.

You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....

I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.