It's always darkest before the dawn kid!
You'd be surprised how many of us on here have 'been there, done that, bought the t shirt etc'. I folded my business in 2003 after a spinal operation went wrong & I couldn't stand for long or lift anymore, but with the help of the wife god bless her, family & friends, I picked myself up & dusted myself down. In 2007 I was diagnosed with throat cancer and in January 2008 I had my stomach & eosophagus removed which got rid of the cancer, and as a bonus I lost 4 stone of blubber
Life is very different now, and dare I say it... Better!
You're probably not in the mood for all this crap right now, but believe me when I say mate, that when one door closes, another one opens - honestly! If you are determined to battle through the bad times, and your lass stands by you, nothing will keep you down
All the very best for the future, and do stay with OOF, it costs nothing, but will enrich you immeasurably.