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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dad1uk on 06 March 2012, 20:40:58

Title: English Language
Post by: dad1uk on 06 March 2012, 20:40:58
You think English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present thepresent.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is is a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down; you fill in a form by filling it out; an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ? :y

 
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: hercules on 06 March 2012, 20:47:55
very good  ;D
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: maria on 06 March 2012, 21:00:48
Brilliant :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: b4ndit on 06 March 2012, 21:09:35
Cool :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 06 March 2012, 21:09:47
interesting examples :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: bootie on 06 March 2012, 21:11:48
Yes, it is very good.  :y

But think on, some people in this country of yours want asylum seekers to learn this strange and wonderful and diverse language that is English. :o

I say your country as I left in 2007.  8)

They say that English is the hardest language to learn if you are not of that birthright ;)
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: dad1uk on 06 March 2012, 21:16:03
interesting examples :y

Shows how stupid the English Language is Cem ;D
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: TheBoy on 06 March 2012, 21:16:45
I come from Buckinghamshire, therefore I talks proper.
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: hercules on 06 March 2012, 21:23:37
I come from Buckinghamshire, therefore I talks proper.
well tha lives in brackley nah so shut up and finish tha bhuna and keema naan
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 06 March 2012, 21:24:31
interesting examples :y

Shows how stupid the English Language is Cem ;D

its not stupid.. meaning variations and usage differences are existent in all languages.. also in my language
which is composed of  Turkish, Ottoman , Arabic and Persian languages ( and I dont count the English-French derived technical words in it)
 
these are good English exam questions for translation.. and not that easy..
 
 
and also sometimes translations can be very unlucky..  for example
 
whats up ?  question was translated by an American in to Turkish "ne kalkık" from dictionary which led us into tears  ;D
 
 
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: Abiton on 06 March 2012, 21:34:00
I like what the forum software does with an 8 when it's followed by a closing bracket.  ;D

Title: Re: English Language
Post by: ozzycat on 06 March 2012, 22:47:24
 :y :yexelant :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: Andy B on 06 March 2012, 22:54:09
Should be a good thread for Laszlo :y :y :y :y :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: SIR Philbutt on 06 March 2012, 23:24:49
Should be a good thread for Laszlo :y :y :y :y :y

Just what I was about to post ...  :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: Debs. on 07 March 2012, 14:14:08
Whats up ?  question was translated by an American in to Turkish "ne kalkık" from dictionary which led us into tears  ;D

 :o Cem! ::)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 07 March 2012, 14:25:47
Whats up ?  question was translated by an American in to Turkish "ne kalkık" from dictionary which led us into tears  ;D

 :o Cem! ::)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: OOMV6 on 07 March 2012, 19:34:04
The combination "ough" can be pronounced in fourteen different ways.

 1. awe: thought, bought, fought, brought, ought, sought, nought, wrought
 
2. uff: enough, rough, tough, slough, Clough, chough, McGough (alt of 3)
 
3. ooh: through, slough, McGough (preferred)

4. oh: though, although, dough, doughnut, broughm, Ough, furlough, Greenough, thorough
 
5. off: cough, trough
 
6. ow: bough, plough, sough
 
7. ou: drought, doughty, Stoughton
 
8. uh: Scarborough, borough, thorough (alt), thoroughbred, Macdonough, Poughkeepsie
 
9. up: hiccoughed
 
10. oth: trough (alt)
 
11. ock: lough, hough
 
12. oc[h] (aspirated): lough
 
13. ahf: Gough
 
14. og: Coughlin (also per #5)


The following sentence contains all 14 ways of pronouncing "ough":
Rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman John Gough strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough on Coughlin road near the lough (dry due to drought), he coughed and hiccoughed, then checked his horse's houghs and washed up in a trough.
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: Johnny English on 07 March 2012, 22:37:53
Should be a good thread for Laszlo :y :y :y :y :y

Just what I was about to post ...  :y

Thx maties for came to your mind I must admit I'm still wrestling of translating ... :D :D :D
Title: Re: English Language
Post by: Johnny English on 08 March 2012, 10:03:17
Anyway glad that I'm not alone of feeling this proudness you can see below :

 http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/index.php?topic=98003.msg1227116#msg1227116 (http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/index.php?topic=98003.msg1227116#msg1227116)
 http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/index.php?topic=98436.msg1232704#msg1232704 (http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/index.php?topic=98436.msg1232704#msg1232704) 

As you know we pronounce everything phonetically and it often causes funny moments eg. :
- " Michelangelo ? "
- " Michael Jackson !"
that we say like this :
- " Mi kell Angelo?"
- " Máj kell Jackson!" 
After translating to English you get :
- "What do you need, Angelo?"
- "I need a liver, Jackson! "  :D :D :D
Anytime we talk about proudness of something in connection with our own culture it really good and warm feeling for me that there is still national identity in Europe and not just people's colourless mass exists.  :y :y :y    Not long ago I met a quite funny situation as I heard in a lesson in some foreign culture context that "tie bow" but I meant "thai bow" and thought about a special kind of greeting in Thailand haha...Thanks guys for lots of invaluable help and endless patience I got !  :) :) :)  (...and hopely I'll got... ;) ;) ;) )