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Author Topic: Why are women so theatrical?  (Read 5282 times)

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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Why are women so theatrical?
« on: 23 July 2021, 13:27:32 »

I heard a female scream followed by a florid and breathless woman running away in a state of near panic.

"what is the matter?" I ask

"There is a spider in the bath"

"OK.....put a glass over it and slide a piece of card underneath"

"You won't put a glass over it. This one is the size of a small horse"

 "OFFS....let me see".

To be fair this spider was a 'big lad' and sadly lost a couple of legs under the rim of the glass. He seemed fine with just six though. :y

Why do women make such a fuss? They are much the same when giving birth. ;D



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BazaJT

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #1 on: 23 July 2021, 13:34:54 »

One of my step daughters used to keep tarantulas for a hobby yet her daughter will run a mile from even the tiniest spider!
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STEMO

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #2 on: 23 July 2021, 15:11:46 »

I pick them up. They pull their legs in so don't lose any that way. I usually chuck them out of the window, if the back door's open they probably walk straight back in.  ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #3 on: 23 July 2021, 15:49:52 »

it's the big house spiders that come out of the cold in autumn/winter ... we've had some that have been big enough to open the door themselves!  ;D
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STEMO

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #4 on: 23 July 2021, 16:03:24 »

it's the big house spiders that come out of the cold in autumn/winter ... we've had some that have been big enough to open the door themselves!  ;D
Or knock if they can't  ;D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #5 on: 23 July 2021, 16:29:53 »

Wood lice seem to be popular. They often turn up uninvited.

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #6 on: 23 July 2021, 16:31:59 »

Flying ants over the last few very hot days.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #7 on: 23 July 2021, 16:35:30 »

Butterflies. Our house seems to be overrun with the little blighters
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STEMO

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #8 on: 23 July 2021, 17:30:56 »

Butterflies. Our house seems to be overrun with the little blighters
I like butterflies, we've had none  :(
No wasps either, though, which is good.
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STEMO

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #9 on: 23 July 2021, 17:31:51 »

Hmmmm........are you sure they weren't moths? You didn't open your purse did you?  ;D
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TheBoy

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #10 on: 23 July 2021, 19:06:35 »

Hmmmm........are you sure they weren't moths? You didn't open your purse did you?  ;D
Like any Jag owner, I appear to have mislaid my wallet ;D
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BazaJT

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #11 on: 23 July 2021, 20:01:34 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #12 on: 23 July 2021, 20:02:17 »

https://youtu.be/7eWIrBOc3zE

Terry Thomas is the sort of cad to own a Jaggggggg. :)
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #13 on: 23 July 2021, 20:08:49 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #14 on: 23 July 2021, 20:14:44 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #15 on: 23 July 2021, 20:55:33 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

I always quite enjoyed parking my battered old Merc at the front of the MB dealership by the showroom and then wandering round the back to the parts counter.  :)
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Nick W

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #16 on: 23 July 2021, 21:20:00 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

I always quite enjoyed parking my battered old Merc at the front of the MB dealership by the showroom and then wandering round the back to the parts counter.  :)


It was far more fun when the parts counter was in the showroom.


Now that nobody works on their own newish Merc, the dealer group can hide the parts department out of sight in an industrial estate. In the next town. Next step is the service department, as you can't be seen to do work in fancy temples of German engineering might ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #17 on: 23 July 2021, 22:03:48 »

I really enjoyed pulling up in my battered 3.4 mk 2 Jag at Howells dealership in Cardiff😂 always a nightmare for the poor employees. When I was about 12 I went with my uncle to pick up a part for his mk1 2.4 he was a crazy driver and howled into the car park which was right outside the windows👀😂 we didn’t stop quite quickly enough and hit the wall at low speed. We got out and my uncle said oh! I’ll order a new wing now too seeing as we’re here.😂😂
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #18 on: 24 July 2021, 10:32:59 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
Which is why I don't use Jag dealers for anything other than parts.

the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.
Keep an eye on that, as it can be a sign that they have laid eggs in the house, especially if you have woollen carpets or clothes.  The larvae eat the wool.

According to pest control chap we had out a few years ago, they like dark corners, behind furniture, or in dark, wardrobes.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #19 on: 24 July 2021, 10:35:00 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.
Much to the annoyance of sales staff at Milton Keynes, I do that when I used to go there for parts, and because the parts people would leave you hanging on for ages, would go and sit in the new shiny ones ;D

The new dealer in Northampton keeps the parts department round the back, well away from the shiny side of the building.
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TheBoy

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #20 on: 24 July 2021, 10:36:43 »

And a piece of good news, I have found my wallet. In her handbag ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #21 on: 24 July 2021, 10:37:57 »

And a piece of good news, I have found my wallet. In her handbag ;D
Found a colleague's wallet in the khahzee as I was locking up the office yesterday evening. I guess he's in for an economical weekend. ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #22 on: 24 July 2021, 10:43:10 »

And a piece of good news, I have found my wallet. In her handbag ;D
Found a colleague's wallet in the khahzee as I was locking up the office yesterday evening. I guess he's in for an economical weekend. ;D
I know I have "an emergency" £30 in my drawers at work, for those times I forget to take in my wallet (being a Jaaaaagggg owner ;D).  Trouble is, I've not really been in since 2019 ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #23 on: 24 July 2021, 10:46:22 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

Back in the 60's I had a mate who was a builder, he saved up, in cash, enough to buy a Ford Zepher.

He wandered into the Ford showroom in his builders gear, cash in a paper bag, and got ignored until he sat in one.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #24 on: 24 July 2021, 12:10:09 »

And a piece of good news, I have found my wallet. In her handbag ;D
Found a colleague's wallet in the khahzee as I was locking up the office yesterday evening. I guess he's in for an economical weekend. ;D
I know I have "an emergency" £30 in my drawers at work, for those times I forget to take in my wallet (being a Jaaaaagggg owner ;D).  Trouble is, I've not really been in since 2019 ;D
That'll be a nice touch for the people who clear the office out when you all permanently work from home :D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #25 on: 24 July 2021, 13:03:06 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

Back in the 60's I had a mate who was a builder, he saved up, in cash, enough to buy a Ford Zepher.

He wandered into the Ford showroom in his builders gear, cash in a paper bag, and got ignored until he sat in one.

I quite liked the look of the last Zephyr/Zodiac...... the one with the long bonnet and stubby boot.

Mk3 or Mk4.....I think.

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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #26 on: 24 July 2021, 13:05:05 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

I often look like this but minus the lottery win. :-\
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #27 on: 24 July 2021, 13:14:47 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

Back in the 60's I had a mate who was a builder, he saved up, in cash, enough to buy a Ford Zepher.

He wandered into the Ford showroom in his builders gear, cash in a paper bag, and got ignored until he sat in one.

I quite liked the look of the last Zephyr/Zodiac...... the one with the long bonnet and stubby boot.

Mk3 or Mk4.....I think.
.                   
                  Last Zodiacs were the Mk4 3.0 litre v6 which were almost identical to the Ford executive 👍
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #28 on: 24 July 2021, 15:53:25 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

Back in the 60's I had a mate who was a builder, he saved up, in cash, enough to buy a Ford Zepher.

He wandered into the Ford showroom in his builders gear, cash in a paper bag, and got ignored until he sat in one.

Similar thing in our local Merc dealer, shabby looking fella went in to look at the SLK roadster when it first came out, he was spoken down to by the staff who'd judged him to be beneath them, he made sure they knew about it when he bought one each for him and his wife from Merc Manchester  ;D
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #29 on: 24 July 2021, 15:59:25 »

And a piece of good news, I have found my wallet. In her handbag ;D
Found a colleague's wallet in the khahzee as I was locking up the office yesterday evening. I guess he's in for an economical weekend. ;D
I know I have "an emergency" £30 in my drawers at work, for those times I forget to take in my wallet (being a Jaaaaagggg owner ;D).  Trouble is, I've not really been in since 2019 ;D
That'll be a nice touch for the people who clear the office out when you all permanently work from home :D
The company has (foolishly) spent a shit load of cash on new buildings (rather than use the 5000+ ones it already has) that were due to open late last year.

So they feel the need for everyone to use them.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #30 on: 24 July 2021, 18:32:08 »

To answer the original question. They are all mad. Simple as that.  :)
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #31 on: 24 July 2021, 19:02:22 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

I often look like this but minus the lottery win. :-\

Some of the wealthiest people I know go round with holes in the arse of their trousers and drive an old Signum shitheap.  :)
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #32 on: 24 July 2021, 21:22:47 »

                  Last Zodiacs were the Mk4 3.0 litre v6 which were almost identical to the Ford executive 👍




Executive was just the top trim level.
Zodiacs suffered from the Essex V6, and poorly designed rear suspension and brakes.


It would have been a better car with a shorter bonnet too.


Mine was a manual 2.5, and nowhere near Executive spec. Which meant it had thin floor mats, plain vinyl seats, no clock or rev counter.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #33 on: 24 July 2021, 21:43:47 »

Dads last company car was the MKIV Zodiac Executive[they'd stopped making his favoured Humber Super Snipes] he wanted a Rover P5B but his dad[who owned the company]wouldn't allow it and he finished up with the Ford instead :'( :'(
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #34 on: 24 July 2021, 22:00:18 »

MkIV was I think the only Ford after the V8 Pilot to have a bonnet mascot/ornament[standard on the Executive optional on the rest I believe] it was in the form of an oblong with a cross in it which by accident or design was a driving/parking aid.If you lined the vertical bar of the cross up with the kerb you were the correct distance from the kerb  for parking and if you lined up the horizontal bar of the cross with the white lines at a junction you weren't poking the nose out into traffic on the other road.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #35 on: 24 July 2021, 22:58:25 »

Ha ha that’s very true😂😂
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #36 on: 25 July 2021, 08:58:01 »

Surely your wallet is lodged behind the counter at the local Jag dealership :D ;D
On the subject of moth I seem to get plagued with very small moths here just as I did last year.


You could buy an Audi, where they charge you for one of their staff to acquire all cash, cards and anything else that might be of value in your wallet. Including the wallet itself. This charge also include rubber gloves for when the bouncer ejects you from the showroom for looking poor....
I've often thought I'd like to win the lottery and wander into one of these showrooms in dirty jeans and a tee shirt. What fun.

Back in the 60's I had a mate who was a builder, he saved up, in cash, enough to buy a Ford Zepher.

He wandered into the Ford showroom in his builders gear, cash in a paper bag, and got ignored until he sat in one.

He should have done what I did in similar circumstances. About to buy the first of only 2 new cars I have ever bought, always for cash (cheque), midway through demonstrating the details of the R16 I was buying, a lady came into the showroom of the small dealership. The salesman(?) receptionist, promptly deserted me to deal with her car to be serviced. He ran after me as I walked out almost pleading. Too late, bought it elsewhere for a bigger discount. I had a similar experience recently in a BMW dealership, ignored for too long by sales who didn’t like the look of my overalls. One wonders what training these people get. The chances are the scruffier the punter, the more cash they have.
« Last Edit: 25 July 2021, 09:00:14 by Shackeng »
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Kevin Wood

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #37 on: 25 July 2021, 09:24:49 »


He should have done what I did in similar circumstances. About to buy the first of only 2 new cars I have ever bought, always for cash (cheque), midway through demonstrating the details of the R16 I was buying, a lady came into the showroom of the small dealership. The salesman(?) receptionist, promptly deserted me to deal with her car to be serviced. He ran after me as I walked out almost pleading. Too late, bought it elsewhere for a bigger discount. I had a similar experience recently in a BMW dealership, ignored for too long by sales who didn’t like the look of my overalls. One wonders what training these people get. The chances are the scruffier the punter, the more cash they have.

Yet when they're in the forecourt hastily trying to jump start the Jaguar you came to test drive they are all over you and can't offer you enough coffee. ;D
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Shackeng

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #38 on: 25 July 2021, 10:23:57 »

Apropos Jags, back in the late ‘50s/early ‘60s farmers had done very well in the period after the war. A friend was in a Bucks pub and overheard a farmer talking to his friend.
“I bought I one of they ther Jaglers, but e’ll have ter go, I carn’t get but one hay bale in’t boot.”
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Rangie

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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #39 on: 25 July 2021, 11:32:07 »

My father had all the big Fords when I was a kid & I had a MK2 Zephyr back in the seventies, I remember he bought a 1960ish Jaguar 3.4 in black with chrome wire wheels but just found it too cramped, that is the only car of his that I would dearly love to own now.
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Re: Why are women so theatrical?
« Reply #40 on: 08 August 2021, 08:09:12 »

Women. You can't live with them. And you can't kill them. Legally.

*that's a joke.
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