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[raywilb]

I will be spending a few days with my daughter in Devon soon.  she wants me to drive down to Bordon ,Hamshire leave my car at her house then she will drive me , her hubby & my wife & son to Brixham Devon. however its a very long journey for me hence I looked at the direct route from Nth Yorks to Brixham . M1 , M5. an estimated 5 1/2 hrs. so when i checked on the route its telling me the M5 south of Birmingham is closed , could anybody enlighten me why thst is & for how long. 

[countrywoman]

One lane closed according to the local news around Worcester, not heard anything lower down

[ronnyd]

Only closure on AA website is between Jct's 17&18A. around Brizzle. That's now of course, depends when you are thinking of travelling Ray.

[STEMO]

All clear

[Doctor Gollum]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

[TheBoy]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

Trouble is, that just takes too long.  Last time I went that way to Cornwall, it took about 8hrs, compared to 4,5hrs normally (to around Hayle/Penzance part)

[Sir Tigger KC]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

That's about right.....     

[Doctor Gollum]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

Trouble is, that just takes too long.  Last time I went that way to Cornwall, it took about 8hrs, compared to 4,5hrs normally (to around Hayle/Penzance part)

That's fair enough, but if you were going with people in, let's say, Alton, and they wanted to take one car, which way would you go?

The journey being as much a part of the holiday as the destination.

If Ray doesn't want to spend another few hours with the family, then the question might be asked if he actually wants to go... hypothetically speaking.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

Trouble is, that just takes too long.  Last time I went that way to Cornwall, it took about 8hrs, compared to 4,5hrs normally (to around Hayle/Penzance part)

That's fair enough, but if you were going with people in, let's say, Alton, and they wanted to take one car, which way would you go?

The journey being as much a part of the holiday as the destination.

If Ray doesn't want to spend another few hours with the family, then the question might be asked if he actually wants to go... hypothetically speaking.

Well I'm sure he wants to go to Brixham, but maybe he'd rather have a young pneumatic blonde as company! 

[TheBoy]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

Trouble is, that just takes too long.  Last time I went that way to Cornwall, it took about 8hrs, compared to 4,5hrs normally (to around Hayle/Penzance part)

That's fair enough, but if you were going with people in, let's say, Alton, and they wanted to take one car, which way would you go?

The journey being as much a part of the holiday as the destination.

If Ray doesn't want to spend another few hours with the family, then the question might be asked if he actually wants to go... hypothetically speaking.

But he's not going to Alton. If he were, the A303 makes sense.  You wouldn't take the M40 to go from yours to Lincolnshire, for example.

The A303 is a crappy road, and not particularly picturesque.  Don't get me wrong, the M5 counts as one* of the most boring motorways, particularly once you clear Avonmouth and the hills there all the way to Exeter.  But you can usually trundle along that section at close to the speed limit, even on a Friday.


* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

[VXL V6]

* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Try the M45

[Doctor Gollum]

Go with her from Bordon. Quality time and a pleasant stroll past StoneHenge

Trouble is, that just takes too long.  Last time I went that way to Cornwall, it took about 8hrs, compared to 4,5hrs normally (to around Hayle/Penzance part)

That's fair enough, but if you were going with people in, let's say, Alton, and they wanted to take one car, which way would you go?

The journey being as much a part of the holiday as the destination.

If Ray doesn't want to spend another few hours with the family, then the question might be asked if he actually wants to go... hypothetically speaking.

But he's not going to Alton. If he were, the A303 makes sense.  You wouldn't take the M40 to go from yours to Lincolnshire, for example.

The A303 is a crappy road, and not particularly picturesque.  Don't get me wrong, the M5 counts as one* of the most boring motorways, particularly once you clear Avonmouth and the hills there all the way to Exeter.  But you can usually trundle along that section at close to the speed limit, even on a Friday.


* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Bordon isn't a *million miles from. Alton and heading West, one might reasonably expect to head via Alton to join the A31.

*I would be very surprised if it is even 4 miles away. 

[TheBoy]

* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Try the M45

Thats far too short to be boring - you come off the roundabout at Dun-somthing? and by the time you're at full ramming speed, its time to slow down for the M1

That said, thats where I managed to max my old Astra GTE, banging it on the rev limiter in top gear all the way along. until PC Plod picked me up on the M1.

[TheBoy]

Bordon isn't a *million miles from. Alton and heading West, one might reasonably expect to head via Alton to join the A31.

*I would be very surprised if it is even 4 miles away. 

No idea where it is, would have to look at a map.  But if I was near Basingstoke for example, I think I'd be more inclined to go to Newbury and M4/M5 it, rather than sit with the handbrake on on the A303.


Though if I was in Basingstoke, a fast trip out in any direction to get as far away as I can would be a great plan.

[Doctor Gollum]

Bordon isn't a *million miles from. Alton and heading West, one might reasonably expect to head via Alton to join the A31.

*I would be very surprised if it is even 4 miles away. 

No idea where it is, would have to look at a map.  But if I was near Basingstoke for example, I think I'd be more inclined to go to Newbury and M4/M5 it, rather than sit with the handbrake on on the A303.


Though if I was in Basingstoke, a fast trip out in any direction to get as far away as I can would be a great plan.

Shared route
From Bordon to Brixham via A303.

3 hr 43 min (164 mi)
3 hr 43 min in current traffic
Avoiding motorways


1. Head south on Essex Rd
2. Turn right to stay on Essex Rd
3. Turn left onto Lamerton Rd
4. Turn right onto Budds Ln
5. Turn left onto Oakhanger Rd
6. Turn left onto Hartley Mauditt
7. Turn left at Blanket St
8. Turn right onto Selborne Rd/B3006
9. At the roundabout, continue straight onto Selborne Rd/A339
10. At the roundabout, continue straight onto Whitedown Ln/A339
11. Turn left onto Spain Ln
12. Turn right onto Red Ln
13. Turn left to stay on Red Ln
14. Turn left onto Berrydown Ln
15. Turn right onto B3046
16. Turn left onto Dummer Rd
17. Turn left onto A30
18. Use the left lane to take the A303 slip road to A30/Andover
19. Continue onto A303
20. At Countess Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Amesbury Byp/A303
21. Exit the roundabout onto Amesbury Byp/A303
22. At Longbarrow Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
23. Exit the roundabout onto A303
24. At Hazelgrove Roundabout, take the 3rd exit and stay on A303
25. Exit the roundabout onto A303
26. At Podimore Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
27. Exit the roundabout onto A303
28. At Cartgate Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
29. Exit the roundabout onto A303
30. At Hayes End Roundabout, take the 3rd exit onto Ilminster Byp/A303
31. Exit the roundabout onto Ilminster Byp/A303
32. At Southfields Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto A303
33. Exit the roundabout onto A303
34. At Moor Lane Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on Honiton Rd/A3015
35. Exit the roundabout onto Honiton Rd/A3015
36. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A3015
37. Slight left onto Hill Barton Rd/A3015
38. At Middlemoor Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Rydon Ln/A3015
39. Exit the roundabout onto Rydon Ln/A3015
40. Turn left onto Russell Way
41. At the roundabout, continue straight to stay on Russell Way
42. At the roundabout, continue straight to stay on Russell Way
43. Keep right to stay on Russell Way
44. Use the left lane to turn right onto A379
45. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for City Centre/Dawlish/A379/Marsh Barton/Topsham
46. At Countess Wear Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Bridge Rd/A379
47. Exit the roundabout onto Bridge Rd/A379
48. Slight right to stay on Bridge Rd/A379
49. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on Bridge Rd/A379
50. Exit the roundabout onto Bridge Rd/A379
51. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A379
52. Exit the roundabout onto A379
53. Take the A38 slip road on the right to Plymouth/Torquay/A380
54. Use the left 2 lanes to turn slightly left onto A380 (signs for Torquay)
55. Keep right to continue on Besigheim Way/Penn Inn Flyover/A380
56. At the roundabout, continue straight onto Hellevoetsluis Way/A380
57. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Marldon Way/A380
58. Exit the roundabout onto Marldon Way/A380
59. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Kings Ash Rd/A380
60. Exit the roundabout onto Kings Ash Rd/A380
61. Turn left onto Waterleat Rd
62. Turn right onto Dartmouth Rd/A379
63. Turn left onto Market St
64. Turn right towards Brewery Ln
65. Turn left onto Brewery Ln
66. Keep right
67. Turn right
68. Arrive at location: Brixham
For the best route in current traffic visit https://maps.app.goo.gl/o5vWzZ4BvRrbhN1aA

[Doctor Gollum]

For comparison:Shared route
From Alton to Brixham via A303.

3 hr 29 min (157 mi)
3 hr 29 min in current traffic
Avoiding motorways


1. Head south-west on Normandy St
2. At the roundabout, continue straight onto High St
3. Turn right onto Market St
4. At the roundabout, continue straight onto Basingstoke Rd/B3349
5. Turn left onto Spain Ln
6. Turn right onto Red Ln
7. Turn left to stay on Red Ln
8. Turn left onto Berrydown Ln
9. Turn right onto B3046
10. Turn left onto Dummer Rd
11. Turn left onto A30
12. Use the left lane to take the A303 slip road to A30/Andover
13. Continue onto A303
14. At Countess Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Amesbury Byp/A303
15. Exit the roundabout onto Amesbury Byp/A303
16. At Longbarrow Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
17. Exit the roundabout onto A303
18. At Hazelgrove Roundabout, take the 3rd exit and stay on A303
19. Exit the roundabout onto A303
20. At Podimore Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
21. Exit the roundabout onto A303
22. At Cartgate Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A303
23. Exit the roundabout onto A303
24. At Hayes End Roundabout, take the 3rd exit onto Ilminster Byp/A303
25. Exit the roundabout onto Ilminster Byp/A303
26. At Southfields Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto A303
27. Exit the roundabout onto A303
28. At Moor Lane Roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on Honiton Rd/A3015
29. Exit the roundabout onto Honiton Rd/A3015
30. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A3015
31. Slight left onto Hill Barton Rd/A3015
32. At Middlemoor Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Rydon Ln/A3015
33. Exit the roundabout onto Rydon Ln/A3015
34. Turn left onto Russell Way
35. At the roundabout, continue straight to stay on Russell Way
36. At the roundabout, continue straight to stay on Russell Way
37. Keep right to stay on Russell Way
38. Use the left lane to turn right onto A379
39. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for City Centre/Dawlish/A379/Marsh Barton/Topsham
40. At Countess Wear Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Bridge Rd/A379
41. Exit the roundabout onto Bridge Rd/A379
42. Slight right to stay on Bridge Rd/A379
43. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on Bridge Rd/A379
44. Exit the roundabout onto Bridge Rd/A379
45. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit and stay on A379
46. Exit the roundabout onto A379
47. Take the A38 slip road on the right to Plymouth/Torquay/A380
48. Use the left 2 lanes to turn slightly left onto A380 (signs for Torquay)
49. Keep right to continue on Besigheim Way/Penn Inn Flyover/A380
50. At the roundabout, continue straight onto Hellevoetsluis Way/A380
51. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Marldon Way/A380
52. Exit the roundabout onto Marldon Way/A380
53. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Kings Ash Rd/A380
54. Exit the roundabout onto Kings Ash Rd/A380
55. Turn left onto Waterleat Rd
56. Turn right onto Dartmouth Rd/A379
57. Turn left onto Market St
58. Turn right towards Brewery Ln
59. Turn left onto Brewery Ln
60. Keep right
61. Turn right
62. Arrive at location: Brixham
For the best route in current traffic visit https://maps.app.goo.gl/MjsGJ5Da17cefvMG6

[TheBoy]

We know thats a lie.  We know that around Amesbury, you'll do 10yrds, then handbrake on. Then 10 yrds, then handbrake on.  Life will ebb away.

[TheBoy]

Although it doesnt offer it by default, google reckons M4/M5 is quicker.  I'd agree.

[Doctor Gollum]

Apparently the A303 is quicker... By 40 minutes

[LC0112G]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".

If you know what you're doing you can avoid the heavy traffic on the A303. Plenty of local roads - but for locals only 

[Doctor Gollum]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".

If you know what you're doing you can avoid the heavy traffic on the A303. Plenty of local roads - but for locals only 

Sod the Grockles

[LC0112G]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".

If you know what you're doing you can avoid the heavy traffic on the A303. Plenty of local roads - but for locals only 

Sod the Grockles

Hint #1. As you go down the hill past Boscombe Down/Solstace Park Services look into the distance sort of straight ahead. You can see the A303 climbing up the hill in the distance away from the Amesbury/Countess Roundabout. If it's chokka with brake lights bail out into Solstace Services, and then make your way north to Bulford. Once there, turn left (west) onto The Packway, and then through Larkhill Camp. Once you get to Rolleston Camp you can turn left and head back down the A360 to rejoin the A303 at the Longbarrow Roundabout. That can easily save you 50 mins on a busy bank holiday Friday/Monday.

If you stay on the A303 past the Countess roundabout then you are doomed if it's busy - there is nowhere to turn around and it  can take an hour to get past Stonehenge to Longbarrow.

[ronnyd]

* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Try the M45

Thats far too short to be boring - you come off the roundabout at Dun-somthing? and by the time you're at full ramming speed, its time to slow down for the M1

That said, thats where I managed to max my old Astra GTE, banging it on the rev limiter in top gear all the way along. until PC Plod picked me up on the M1.

Dunchurch. 

[Rangie]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

[STEMO]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

Yes, Mick, but the old bladder can make you appreciate a swift journey 

[ronnyd]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

Yes, Mick, but the old bladder can make you appreciate a swift journey 

Sad but true. 

[Rangie]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

Yes, Mick, but the old bladder can make you appreciate a swift journey 

Sad but true. 

.   


It's very strange that you mentioned that, long journeys present no problems, but if I pop into town for an hour or so by the time I return home I'm busting for a pee..😄

[LC0112G]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

Yes, Mick, but the old bladder can make you appreciate a swift journey 

Sad but true. 

.   


It's very strange that you mentioned that, long journeys present no problems, but if I pop into town for an hour or so by the time I return home I'm busting for a pee..😄

We call that "The Queen Camel's".

Queen Camel is a small village on the road from the A303 into Yeovil - about 5 miles from home. The number of times we've been on the way home from a trip abroad, and we've got to Queen Camel at midnight with a bladder (or worse bowel) ready to burst is incalculable.

[STEMO]

I try to train my brain not to tell my bladder it's time to let go five yards from the bog  This can be after a two/three hour journey, the brain is just three or four seconds ahead of itself.

[ronnyd]

I find that the great thing about being retired is I don't give a damn how iong any journey takes, time is no longer a matter, the day I finished work I gave up wearing a watch as I am no longer answerable to anybody.

Yes, Mick, but the old bladder can make you appreciate a swift journey 

Sad but true. 

.   


It's very strange that you mentioned that, long journeys present no problems, but if I pop into town for an hour or so by the time I return home I'm busting for a pee..😄

We call that "The Queen Camel's".

Queen Camel is a small village on the road from the A303 into Yeovil - about 5 miles from home. The number of times we've been on the way home from a trip abroad, and we've got to Queen Camel at midnight with a bladder (or worse bowel) ready to burst is incalculable.

Bet that gives you the hump,

[Sir Tigger KC]

I try to train my brain not to tell my bladder it's time to let go five yards from the bog  This can be after a two/three hour journey, the brain is just three or four seconds ahead of itself.

It's strange how your bladder seems to know that you are approaching the loo and the urge to go gets stronger the closer you get. 

Is this an age thing?                                         

[Rangie]

I try to train my brain not to tell my bladder it's time to let go five yards from the bog  This can be after a two/three hour journey, the brain is just three or four seconds ahead of itself.

It's strange how your bladder seems to know that you are approaching the loo and the urge to go gets stronger the closer you get. 

Is this an age thing?                                         

. 


I'm not the only one then..😂😂😂

[ronnyd]

I have to drink loads of water as i suffer from kidney stones. That in turn makes me need to pee a hell of a lot. If pissing was an Olympic sport, i'd be the favourite for gold.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I have to drink loads of water as i suffer from kidney stones. That in turn makes me need to pee a hell of a lot. If pissing was an Olympic sport, i'd be the favourite for gold.

They could call it the Piss Off! 

[raywilb]

I try to train my brain not to tell my bladder it's time to let go five yards from the bog  This can be after a two/three hour journey, the brain is just three or four seconds ahead of itself.

It's strange how your bladder seems to know that you are approaching the loo and the urge to go gets stronger the closer you get. 

Is this an age thing?                                         

  funny how an enquiry re the A5 has turned into a peeing thread , tho having a enlarged prostrate I know all about the urgency problem . yes re my trip to Brixham my daughter has contacted me about our planned stay in Devon , I thought it was in the near future but its not whilst the 28th June, her birthday is on the 29th & she happens to share it with one of my sons .A yesr between both of them. the lad being the elder.   

[ronnyd]

I try to train my brain not to tell my bladder it's time to let go five yards from the bog  This can be after a two/three hour journey, the brain is just three or four seconds ahead of itself.

It's strange how your bladder seems to know that you are approaching the loo and the urge to go gets stronger the closer you get. 

Is this an age thing?                                         

  funny how an enquiry re the A5 has turned into a peeing thread , tho having a enlarged prostrate I know all about the urgency problem . yes re my trip to Brixham my daughter has contacted me about our planned stay in Devon , I thought it was in the near future but its not whilst the 28th June, her birthday is on the 29th & she happens to share it with one of my sons .A yesr between both of them. the lad being the elder.   

Plenty of time to plan then Ray.

[TheBoy]

* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Try the M45

Thats far too short to be boring - you come off the roundabout at Dun-somthing? and by the time you're at full ramming speed, its time to slow down for the M1

That said, thats where I managed to max my old Astra GTE, banging it on the rev limiter in top gear all the way along. until PC Plod picked me up on the M1.

Dunchurch. 

Yeah, thats the place.  Bloody great reservoir nearby, but not really visible from the road....

[ronnyd]

* Nothing beats the M11 for boredom though.  At least its short.

Try the M45

Thats far too short to be boring - you come off the roundabout at Dun-somthing? and by the time you're at full ramming speed, its time to slow down for the M1

That said, thats where I managed to max my old Astra GTE, banging it on the rev limiter in top gear all the way along. until PC Plod picked me up on the M1.

Dunchurch. 

Yeah, thats the place.  Bloody great reservoir nearby, but not really visible from the road....

The Dun Cow in the village centre is not bad.
My daughter in law takes her doggy for walks around Dracote Water.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

This means  you'll need to mix with the great unwashed.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

This means  you'll need to mix with the great unwashed.

That can be a education... 

[dave the builder]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

This means  you'll need to mix with the great unwashed.

That can be a education... 

I doubt you'd gleam any education from using busses or trains 
inless you didn't know what stale p155 and puke smelt like 

[ronnyd]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

This means  you'll need to mix with the great unwashed.

That can be a education... 

I doubt you'd gleam any education from using busses or trains 
inless you didn't know what stale p155 and puke smelt like 

You can actually type piss now Dave. 

[dave the builder]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Book your tickets as far in advance as possible and you can do a return to Paignton from York for Ł157.90 and it takes about 6 hours via Londinium. York - Ldn King X - Ldn Paddington - Exeter - Paignton.

The more direct and sensible route, York - Exeter - Paignton takes about the same time but costs Ł406.50 return! 

https://ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/service/timesandfares/YRK/PGN/120523/0800/dep/180523/0800/dep

This means  you'll need to mix with the great unwashed.

That can be a education... 

I doubt you'd gleam any education from using busses or trains 
unless you didn't know what stale p155 and puke smelt like 

You can actually type piss now Dave. 

I could  but I prefer to use the buttons a computer keyboard ,less messy   

[YZ250]

…………
I doubt you'd gleam any education from using busses or trains 
inless you didn't know what stale p155 and puke smelt like 

Pissing ON the train cubicle floor and toilet seat is easy. Pissing IN a train toilet is an art form. You have to get the old boy out, match your swaying to the clickety clack on the train track, when the rhythm is good you open fire and keep changing the direction of your pissing to the opposite direction of your swaying. Try the hovering squatting position and when your knees give way you may just end up sat on a toilet seat that a million other people have pissed on. 

[dave the builder]

…………
I doubt you'd gleam any education from using busses or trains 
inless you didn't know what stale p155 and puke smelt like 

Pissing ON the train cubicle floor and toilet seat is easy. Pissing IN a train toilet is an art form. You have to get the old boy out, match your swaying to the clickety clack on the train track, when the rhythm is good you open fire and keep changing the direction of your pissing to the opposite direction of your swaying. Try the hovering squatting position and when your knees give way you may just end up sat on a toilet seat that a million other people have pissed on. 

I think this is why ,in older pub toilets ,the entire wall is a urinal with a trough bellow 

[TheBoy]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Apparently the Chiltern Slug is one of the better services on the UK system.  Well, if that's the case, the rest must be unusable.


That reminds me, I must chase up that last lot of compo, as I still aint received it.  The monetary value is immaterial, it'll cost them loads to process it. Useless bunch of idiots.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Apparently the Chiltern Slug is one of the better services on the UK system.  Well, if that's the case, the rest must be unusable.


That reminds me, I must chase up that last lot of compo, as I still aint received it.  The monetary value is immaterial, it'll cost them loads to process it. Useless bunch of idiots.

My local train line, Exeter St Davids - London Waterloo is quite good, but bleddy expensive! 

Last time I went to Londinium by train I naively expected my return ticket to be thirty/forty quid. It was eighty five quid for a two and three quarter hour ride! 

[TheBoy]

I know it's an odd suggestion for a car forum.... (cue sharp intakes of breath!) .... but you could let the train take the strain.   

Apparently the Chiltern Slug is one of the better services on the UK system.  Well, if that's the case, the rest must be unusable.


That reminds me, I must chase up that last lot of compo, as I still aint received it.  The monetary value is immaterial, it'll cost them loads to process it. Useless bunch of idiots.

My local train line, Exeter St Davids - London Waterloo is quite good, but bleddy expensive! 

Last time I went to Londinium by train I naively expected my return ticket to be thirty/forty quid. It was eighty five quid for a two and three quarter hour ride! 

Its Ł80 return for me, and thats an hour each way.  Used to be 34mins each way, but Network Rail put paid to that to make HS2 look more viable.

Oh, and Ł8.50 a day to park, self-abusers.

[TheBoy]

Apparently it costs no more if you want a seat on the train.  But you're shit out of luck if you are south of Banbury in the morning, not because the rail system is overcrowded, but because Chiltern, being morons, run 2 and 3 carriage DMUs most of the time.  Fikkin morons.

[TheBoy]

And I have to go to central Londonium tomorrow morning.  Train and car are about the same time, similar price by the time you factor in the Mayor's "pulling down statues of non ethnic historical figures" tax and the parking charges at Baynard House NCP....

...which would make it a no-brainer, except the company prefer the use of public transport when it comes to expenses...

[YZ250]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".
………….

I’ve had some pretty good early hours (midnight onwards) runs down the M5 to South Devon and Cornwall. My Sat Nav always appears to wildly overestimate my ETA at night for some reason, sometimes by well over an hour. Not sure why that is as it’s fine in the daytime. 
I mostly travel at night as I got fed up with the daytime motorway ‘Phantom stops’, where you get caught in a two mile tailback with stop/start traffic, only for the traffic to suddenly take off at normal speed again with no obvious clue to why the tailback occurred in the first place. 

[STEMO]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".
………….

I’ve had some pretty good early hours (midnight onwards) runs down the M5 to South Devon and Cornwall. My Sat Nav always appears to wildly overestimate my ETA at night for some reason, sometimes by well over an hour. Not sure why that is as it’s fine in the daytime. 
I mostly travel at night as I got fed up with the daytime motorway ‘Phantom stops’, where you get caught in a two mile tailback with stop/start traffic, only for the traffic to suddenly take off at normal speed again with no obvious clue to why the tailback occurred in the first place. 

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Carlisle, there's a five mile tailback in Birmingham. I think that's right 

[LC0112G]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".
………….

I’ve had some pretty good early hours (midnight onwards) runs down the M5 to South Devon and Cornwall. My Sat Nav always appears to wildly overestimate my ETA at night for some reason, sometimes by well over an hour. Not sure why that is as it’s fine in the daytime. 
I mostly travel at night as I got fed up with the daytime motorway ‘Phantom stops’, where you get caught in a two mile tailback with stop/start traffic, only for the traffic to suddenly take off at normal speed again with no obvious clue to why the tailback occurred in the first place. 

If you're travelling from Brizzol to Exeter then there isn't really an alternative - just keep traffic alerts on and bail out at the first sign of aggro. But Brizzol to Yeovil there are two routes - M5 to Jct 23 then cross country, or avoid the M5 and straight down the A37. If I can get through Brizzol before 7am, or after 6pm, then A37 every time.

London to Exeter - I would always use A303/A30 rather than M4-M5.

Oxford to Exeter is a tricky one. A34 is the worst road I use regularly - although the junction with the A303 is a hoot if you can get a free run at it.

[Nick W]

I'm loathed to use the M5 south of Brizzol at all. In the summer there are upside down tin tents all over the place and rozzers hiding on every bridge. At nights the road is usually closed somewhere for no apparent reason - often a "Police incident" or "Emergency Road Works".
………….

I’ve had some pretty good early hours (midnight onwards) runs down the M5 to South Devon and Cornwall. My Sat Nav always appears to wildly overestimate my ETA at night for some reason, sometimes by well over an hour. Not sure why that is as it’s fine in the daytime. 
I mostly travel at night as I got fed up with the daytime motorway ‘Phantom stops’, where you get caught in a two mile tailback with stop/start traffic, only for the traffic to suddenly take off at normal speed again with no obvious clue to why the tailback occurred in the first place. 

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Carlisle, there's a five mile tailback in Birmingham. I think that's right 

If a butterfly has that effect, what causes the traffic on the Bristol bit of the M5? Dumbo flapping his ears?


I've never been around Bristol without being seriously delayed, which is one of several reasons why I don't use the M4/M5 to get to Plymouth. The worst traffic jam I've been in started when I got on the M4 at Bristol and ended when I joined the M25....


'Phantom Stops' are just a long queue of traffic reacting to something; it doesn't take much to create a block of traffic that takes several miles to speed up again.

[Nick W]

London to Exeter - I would always use A303/A30 rather than M4-M5.

Oxford to Exeter is a tricky one. A34 is the worst road I use regularly - although the junction with the A303 is a hoot if you can get a free run at it.

I have to agree with that, using the M4/M5 adds at least an hour for me if the traffic is good. Considering that means going past Heathrow and Bristol, it never is. That hour is simply due to the extra distance and is more if in a slower vehicle. Heading away from the M25 as soon as is practical has been my policy for years.


I've not had to go from Oxford to Exeter, but would probably not cross the M5 just to use the A303. Not the first time, anyway.

[countrywoman]

Usually it's a HGV "drag race" with the overtaking one doing 1/2 mph quicker. then you get the ones doing 60 on the inside lane overtaking (wasnt me this time in my 68 VW panel van!)

[TheBoy]

Oxford to Exeter is a tricky one. A34 is the worst road I use regularly - although the junction with the A303 is a hoot if you can get a free run at it.

Oxford to Exeter is probably quickest A40/M5, assuming you don't do it on a Bank Holiday Friday afternoon, as you'll shagged at Birdlip...   ...but get delayed so badly, all the traffic around Avonmouth will have cleared

Oxford to Exeter itself, A420/M4/M5 is usually far quicker nowadays than A34, although you can get stuck behind the tin tent brigade thats frustrating (and on the dual carriageway sections, you'll always get a knobjockey pull out and then continue at the same speed as what they are overtaking.


My trouble is to get to Oxford involves a particularly shitty bit of the A34, so I occasionally go M40/M42/M5 to Exeter...   ...every time I am daft enough to try A34/A303 I regret it, as it doubles the journey length.  Last time, it was 8.5hrs from Brackley to Penzance. Crazy.

[TheBoy]

And I have to go to central Londonium tomorrow morning.  Train and car are about the same time, similar price by the time you factor in the Mayor's "pulling down statues of non ethnic historical figures" tax and the parking charges at Baynard House NCP....

...which would make it a no-brainer, except the company prefer the use of public transport when it comes to expenses...

FFS, the 9:17 takes 1hr 21m (plus the usual Chiltern 5-10m late).  Jesus wept.

The 9:30 takes 52m, but you're lucking to get standing room on that one.

How do they make such a monumental mess of something so simple?

[countrywoman]

It was 5hrs, 3changes, a bus or walk to get to Wimbledon from Malvern. 2hrs 50 mins in car plus emission zone plus copping for a box junction fine (got hung out to dry on that one)

[Doctor Gollum]

That's what you get for going to Lundun

[TheBoy]

My last 3 driving fines have been poxy box junctions in that shithole.  Still, it pays to have all the historical statues pulled down....

[LC0112G]

M5 closed all day yesterday at Bristol. Apparantly a tipper lorry's tipper bit lifted up and smashed into one of the overhead speed camera gantries.

[Sir Tigger KC]

If you're travelling from Brizzol to Exeter then there isn't really an alternative - just keep traffic alerts on and bail out at the first sign of aggro. But Brizzol to Yeovil there are two routes - M5 to Jct 23 then cross country, or avoid the M5 and straight down the A37. If I can get through Brizzol before 7am, or after 6pm, then A37 every time.

The new bit of the Bristol ring road (A4174) at Long Ashdon is excellent if you're on the Southbound M5 or going south from South Wales as you don't have to go through Bristol to get to the the A38 or A37, although now there is the Clean Air Zone to contend with as they've put it on the end of the A4/Portway at Hotwells and over the Cumberland Basin down to Long Ashdon.

I think they are probably raising loads of cash from people going to the airport who didn't know about the CAZ and are finding the fine on the doormat when they get back from their hols!   

One step forward, one step back.... Sigh. 

[ronnyd]

M5 closed all day yesterday at Bristol. Apparantly a tipper lorry's tipper bit lifted up and smashed into one of the overhead speed camera gantries.

Pity it didn't wipe out all the rest. 

[YZ250]

M5 closed all day yesterday at Bristol. Apparantly a tipper lorry's tipper bit lifted up and smashed into one of the overhead speed camera gantries.

Looks like the gantry held up well in the photos, considering the tipper part got ripped off the truck. Good to see that the police didn’t miss an opportunity to nick drivers for filming the scene on their mobiles while at the wheel …….. and then ask if anyone has any footage that would be useful to their enquiries. 

[biggriffin]

Reading these replies, you'd all make brilliant planners or Logistics organisation routers. If traveling South from Tut north, going to Devonshire A303 not best way to go, use major routes as much as possible and be prepared to change on route traffic depending. Don't over think an easy route .

[Doctor Gollum]

Reading these replies, you'd all make brilliant planners or Logistics organisation routers. If traveling South from Tut north, going to Devonshire A303 not best way to go, use major routes as much as possible and be prepared to change on route traffic depending. Don't over think an easy route .

The original suggestion was to leave the car in Bordon, Hants, and travel with family to Kernow. The A303 is about the only viable way of doing this. (true the A31/35 also works).

From reet oops thar, Brum and down is a pretty straight line.