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Sticky for Jokes

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78bex:
Our oldest asked me how it feels to be married  :-\

So I told her to throw all her console games away & just keep her favourite one   :-*



JasonH:
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.




The husband turned to his wife and said, Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you cant tell me anything that will make me both happy and sad at the same time.



She said: Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis.

JasonH:
A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

After a while the husband said to his wife: Honey in all the years together, was there ever a time when you were unfaithful to me?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one time early in our marriage. Remember when you had lost your job and the bank was going to foreclose on the house. I made a trip to town, saw the banker and we got the loan extended until you returned to work.

The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved our home; I guess I can't really hold it against you for being unfaithful that one time. Was there ever another time?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one other time. Remember when you had gotten sick and needed an operation or you would die, but we didn't have any insurance. I made a trip to town, saw the doctor and you got the operation..

The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved my life; I guess I can't really hold it against you for being unfaithful that time either. Was there another time?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Well there was just one other time. Remember when you were running for club president and you only needed 58 more votes!!

Migv6 le Frog Fan:
I went to the bank the other day to ask about a loan. I noticed the bloke in front of me in the queue was standing on one leg.
I asked him what he was doing and he said he was just checking his balance.


I,ll get me coat.  :D

Mr Skrunts:
Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds.
“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.”
The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?"
The man replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"

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