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JasonH:
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

JasonH:
"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman. "No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of the question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."

Migv6 le Frog Fan:
My wife crashed the car recently and had to go to court over it.
She told the judge it was the fault of the man she collided with, as he was on his phone at the time of the accident and was also drinking a can of beer with the other hand.
The judge dismissed her argument on the grounds that the man is entitled to do exactly as he wants in his own back garden.

STEMO:
A priest, a vicar and a rabbit walk into a bar. What are you having, the bartender asked the rabbit. I don't know, he says, I'm only here because of auto correct.

Migv6 le Frog Fan:
A man was admitted to hospital yesterday with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors said his condition is stable.

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