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Sticky for Jokes

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geoffr70:
The mother in law went to the butchers and said: "I'll have that sheeps head on the counter please."

The butcher replied: "It's a mirror not a sheeps head!"

geoffr70:
Paddy was trying to sell his car, and Mickey asked why he hadn't sold it yet. "It's got 120,000 miles on the clock" Paddy said.  Mickey told him to turn the clock back. "Ahhhhh good idea!" said Paddy.

A week later Mickey saw Paddy and asked if he had sold the car yet. Paddy replied: "No, I'm keeping it, it's only done 40,000 mile!"

albitz:
The bloke behind her in the queue said to the butcher "have you got a pigs head ?" butcher said "yes", bloke says "well,Ill have a pound of beef suasages ya porky faced tinker". :D

paul.lovejoy:

--- Quote from: Albs on 05 March 2012, 22:33:54 ---The bloke behind her in the queue said to the butcher "have you got a pigs head ?" butcher said "yes", bloke says "well,Ill have a pound of beef suasages ya porky faced tinker". :D

--- End quote ---

and that was a party political broadcast by the raving Albs Party :y

dbug:
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car  salesroom.  Taking off down Highway 1 he  floored it to 100mph, enjoying the wind blowing  through what little hair he had  left.

"Amazing!" he thought as  he flew down the highway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the  metal even more.  Looking in his rear view  mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights  flashing and siren blaring.

"I can  get away from him - no problem!"  he thought as he floored it to 120mph, then 130mph  then 140mph   Suddenly, he thought, "What on  earth am I doing? I'm too old for this  nonsense!"  So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with  him.

Pulling in behind him, the  police officer walked up the driver's side of the BMW,  looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes, today is Friday and I'm taking  off  for the weekend.  If you can give me a  reason why you were speeding that I've never  heard before, I'll let you  go."

The old man, looked very  seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago,  my wife ran off with a policeman.   I  thought you were bringing her  back."

"Have a good day, Sir",  said the policeman .

 

 

 

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