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Messages - Kevin Wood

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1
General Discussion Area / Re: Visa - Amazon
« on: 20 November 2021, 08:45:17 »


And my mortgage has been paid off years ago  ;)

I paid off a mortgage earlier in the month and cancelled the direct debit.  Two days later I get a letter.

Your bank has informed us that you have cancelled your direct debit.

Big red letters like this.  >:(  So? I thought. Then I wondered whether the solicitor had made off with the cash!  :o  ;D 

So I phoned in.  ::)

Oh it's just computer generated the lady said. 

I thought I might get a computer generated letter thanking me for paying off the mortgage said I.

It takes a few days to close down the account.... she replied

In the event it was nearly two weeks later that I finally got the letter informing me that the mortgage account had been closed, and the bastards didn't even thank me for the thousands of interest I paid them!  ::)  >:(

Funny, isn't it? I had a purge of old direct debits a while ago.
Found a couple of policies I no longer needed that I was still paying for by DD. In some cases I'd had no policy details through the post for years so just dumped them.

It's funny how these people who've been merrily sucking your blood for years and never communicating with you suddenly get all uppity when you disconnect them from the vein. ;D

I had a mobile phone company set the debt collectors on me because they tried to take a monthly payment a month after I'd cancelled. That didn't go too well for them. ::)

Charities always get told to foxtrott oscar if they want a direct debit set up too.

2
General Discussion Area / Re: Churchill
« on: 19 November 2021, 17:57:24 »
The 2021 version would read something like " It hasn't got a winkle but that doesn't necessarily make it a girl. We'll need to wait and see" ...... ;D

Indeed. "Gender assignment" is not as simple any more. ;D

3
General Discussion Area / Re: Churchill
« on: 19 November 2021, 17:01:00 »
This all reminds me of a text a colleague of mine sent me back in the 90's after rushing off to the local maternity ward.

"Well, it hasn't got a winkle so it must be a girl"

How simple life used to be. ;D

4
General Discussion Area / Re: A bit of good news at last
« on: 19 November 2021, 10:48:01 »
They should have been made to sweep the roads for a year each,  seems as they fkg like it so much, bloody idiots

Eh? They'd just sit down!  ;D

I think they should be put in stocks on roundabouts, central reservations or by the roadside.  :)

Good idea. Then we could use them to recycle food waste. :y

5
General Discussion Area / Re: A bit of good news at last
« on: 17 November 2021, 22:29:27 »
...
maybe they should make them do a couple of hundred hours community service when they get out ......
fitting insulation
the old fashioned itchy stuff  :)

There are enough complete idiots in that game already. The last thing we need is more! ;D

Maybe they could be used as balancing weights for wind turbine blades?
Or perhaps we could recover the carbon in their structures and lock it away somewhere? Fire it into the sun, maybe? ;)
I'm sure there are a multitude of uses for soap-dodgers if you put your mind to it.

6
General Discussion Area / Re: Poland/Belarus.
« on: 14 November 2021, 09:54:35 »
Build a moat!  ;D
Oh, wait......ours doesn't work. :(

Looks like it's back to battlements and boiling oil.
Oh, wait......oil isn't eco friendly  :(

Looks like it's house them and give them benefits.

We could always try melting down loads of "Vegan block". ;D

It's got to be better than eating the sh1te. ::)

7
General Car Chat / Re: No no definitely no.
« on: 14 November 2021, 09:44:36 »
The thing with the MX-5 is that it's got a chassis that just makes you want to thrash the living daylights out of it and at the sort of power levels they have as standard (160 odd BHP from the 2.0 NC we have) you can do that all day long without it ever getting seriously out of shape or losing your licence. There'll always be long straight bits of road where you wish for a bit more grunt, but on the twisty bits where it counts it's more satisfying to have to stir the stick a bit to keep it going rather than have a big V6 where you just leave it in 4th and use the torque.

I think if I were going to upgrade one, I'd go forced induction. In fact, the ecoboost I've got in the Jag started off as the Mazda L series anyway, so I wouldn't mind betting it would drop straight in and give you 240 BHP. Why you'd mess about with a V6 I don't know.

8
General Car Chat / Re: No no definitely no.
« on: 08 November 2021, 22:19:39 »
Anyway, the answer's an MX 5. It's always an MX 5. :y

9
Another episode to be shown soon featuring Rachel Riley visits a restaurant / antique centre, which was formerly a pub / restaurant.
Goes by the name of The shoulder of Mutton.
About 10 years ago we had an OOF meet at the pub, which is 10 minutes from where I live, and the landlord was like Basil Fawlty.
Told us all to far cough because he didnt want all those cars in his car park, and all those customers ordering drinks and food in a short space of time. 
We all went somewhere else and between us must have put a few hundred quid in the till of the place when we got there.  ::) ;D
I remember it well. Miserable bastard.

The other place was fine, though I seem to recall I got sunburnt ;D

I well remember you turning up a bit late in the silver bullet. It sounded like it was about to expire. I think it was Kevin Wood who said it sounds like a skeleton abusing itself in a biscuit tin.  ;D

Gixer and I did over-do it with the bag of nails while TheBoy wasn't looking that weekend we LPG'ed it. ::)

Still, it went on for a good few miles after that.

10
General Discussion Area / Re: McD
« on: 04 November 2021, 18:03:03 »

.....if scrotum and connective tissue of unspecified origin is your bag then go for it. :y

That would be a significant improvement on the reconstituted cardboard they currently sell. ::)

11
Omega General Help / Re: Which Petrol
« on: 26 October 2021, 19:23:37 »
SWMBOS Subaru is doing 4mpg more on the E10 round town not done a long run yet.

That's interesting - the general consensus is that the new E10 95  unleaded doesn't deliver the same economy as the 'old' standard E5 95 unleaded.

Indeed. The energy density of E10 petrol is lower than E5, so, if you get better economy, then the engine wasn't running well on E5 at all!

12
General Discussion Area / Re: Text Messages to EMAIL
« on: 25 October 2021, 21:18:25 »
That's part of the reason that i no longer go out for meals. There is no spontaneity in going out. Also i don't have a smart phone, so i suppose i'm a bit like LCO112G in that regard.  :D

.. and this was after 20 minutes waiting for a table, during which time it was apparently impossible to sit at one of the many empty tables in the premises and have a drink, so we waited outside in the rain and got patronised by the stream of "Excited yet? It's not long now! Your table is almost ready!" texts. Excited? About eating some manky chicken? Nope.


13
General Discussion Area / Re: Text Messages to EMAIL
« on: 25 October 2021, 18:51:17 »
Went to Nandos last night (not my first choice of eatery, but that's another story) and they expected me to scan a QR code to view the menu online on my phone. No paper menus any more.

Then you're expected to register as a user on the site to order your meal. At this point I told them they could take an order verbally or foxtrott oscar and they reluctantly did so.

I was probably sat at the table an extra 10 minutes as a result, but I was early for my film anyway, so thought I might just as well be wasting their time as my own. ;D

CBA to go through the hassle again to order a desert.

14
General Car Chat / Re: Think your omega is high mileage?
« on: 21 October 2021, 20:38:30 »
You'd have run out of bits of garage door to fix it with by now anyway. ;)

15
General Discussion Area / Re: Another lockdown coming ?
« on: 21 October 2021, 17:06:03 »
I am currently in France and you won't get anywhere near a restaurant or bar without a mask and a vaccine certificate.

They seem sensible precautions to me, it's really not that intrusive and, if not that effective themselves they are a constant reminder that it's not business as usual yet.

Besides, I'd rather not share a meal with flat-earth antivaxxers anyway. ;)


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