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Sticky for Jokes
Sir Tigger KC:
I went for a testicle check-up last week, and the little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure."
I said "I haven't got an erection."
She said "No but I have!"
Sir Tigger KC:
It was a calm, still day in Yarmouth,
The channel clear and wide,
As the last of the timber sailing ships
Sailed out on the evening tide.
They never saw that ship again;
They searched when it was light,
But that fine old timber vessel sank
That clear and peaceful night.
No one knows what happened
On that night in 1910;
But the crew and her cargo of woodpeckers
Were never seen again.
Les Barker - 2005
Sir Tigger KC:
Sir Tigger KC:
Husband: I'd like to report a missing wife. She went shopping and has not come back.
Police: What is her height?
Husband: I'm not sure.
Police: Skinny or fat?
Husband: Not skinny.
Police: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Police: Color of hair?
Husband: It kind of changes with the seasons.
Police: What was she wearing?
Husband: I'm not sure.
Police: Was she driving?
Husband: Yes
Police: Color of vehicle
Husband: Black 2020 F350 powerstroke diesel, 475 horsepower with 10-speed heavy-duty TorqShift automatic transmission. It has LED lights and a very small scratch on the rear door.
Police: Don't worry sir, we will find your truck.
Mr Skrunts:
MILLIONAIRE BORROWS FROM BANK
Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs a quarter of a million pounds.
“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.”
The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president, and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, and repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?"
The man replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?" ✍️
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