A key cause of valve seat recession is the tendency of a hot valve and seat to weld themselves together and then for the seat to be eaten away as little bits get pulled off
Tetraethyl lead was originally added to petrol to improve the octane rating and allow higher compression ratio without pinking / pre-ignition. A side benefit was that the lead binds with the metal of the valve seats and somehow acts to prevent the valve and seat from welding together.
I am puzzled by the reference to looser valve clearences on modern engines
My experience of engine rebuilds is limited to1960's Royal Enfields (pushrod) 1980's Suzukis (DOHC) 1970/80s Rover V8 (pushrod) and my 1994 Omega 2.5 V6 (Quad cam). Generally the oldest engines had big valve stems with massive clearances and the newest engines have dainty little precision machined valve stems
AndyB or Marks DTM might be able to throw some more light on that one