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[kris9128]

bin 3 yrs since my mum died. still hurts like mad. think of her every day. no matter what i do just cant seem to get over it. it'sstartin to affect my everyday life. got a brilliant partner who understands everthing and tries her best to help me but just seem to stay in my own little world.  heads really f*ck*d

[Bandit127]

Sorry you feel like that. It's an awful place to be for 3 years.

My Dad died 6 weeks ago and, to be honest, I'm finding it hard. I haven't got any easy answers for you coz I haven't sorted it myself.

But, mate, if it's been that long, have a think about talking to someone who is preferably outside your current 'world'.

I am not embarrassed to say that I have spent time with a CPN and that it was a big part of being able to get over what I was dealing with at the time. Not right for some but it was someone I could talk to.

Have you though about your GP?

[Vamps]

I tried two or three times to think of a suitable response to you statement. Sorry for you loss but this was three years ago, however it seems that you have been unable to accept the loss which is preventing you from moving on. I would suggest that you need to talk this through with someone and that perhaps a visit to your GP for a referral to an appropriate counselling service that deals with issues surrounding bereavement,  your other half may also benefit from someone to talk through any of her issues too.
I attend a support group on a monthly basis, for a different matter, that happened 6 years ago, but it is about life changing loss and I find this very helpful, talking to others who have shared the same experiences with professional support added if needed.
Believe me, well all need to off load sometimes and our immediate family may not be the best people to do this with regardless of how sympathetic they are.
Psychnurse may be able to give better advice.

[albitz]

My mum died suddenly in 2000.it really knocked me sideways for a while .I still think about her often,but it doesnt affect my everyday life.
I think it would be an idea for you to have a talk with your G.P. who would hopefully arrange some helpful counselling.

[jimmas]

so sorry to hear that mate, lost my sister 3 years ago to cancer age 42 then last year lost my mothering law to cancer, then this year find out my wife has breast cancer, has knocked 6 barrels of crap out of me but you have to find a place to go to in your head for sanctuary or it will totally consume you, grief is a terrible terrible feeling, as said earlier may be talk to your GP, all the best mate.

[Entwood]

You are not alone, by any means, so don't think there is anything "wrong" with feeling the way you do.

I'm nowhere near good enough to do these things, however my brother is a trained "berevement counsellor", and he's just told me that 40% of his groups have long term issues - especially if they have never had help.

All I can offer is this, either through a GP,Church, Social Worker, or even a Funeral Director  ( might sound odd by they do have this info) find a bereavement councillor and have a chat .. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[Mr Skrunts]

You certainly arnt alone matey, lost my Mum to Bone Cancer in 2000, Lost my Dad 25 Years ago.

The feelings never go away, but they do get easier to deal with.  I am still sad over both my parent's losses, but I know they would both want me to grow and get stronger as each day passes, which I am doing, some days are not as easy, birthdays etc, but the fond memories will allways remain.

If you want to chat, PM me or add me to MSM, I am on most nights, would love to chat with you.    

[amigov6]

My parents are elderly now so am dreading the inevitable. It might seem strange but i've started telling them how much i love them & appreciate them putting up with me when i was young & silly.
    Sadly i have no advice to offer until the worst happens but my thoughts & wishes are with you. Guy.

[kris9128]

thanks for all the advice and comments. will try and  speake to my gp . it's not that she died that  is affecting me its how that oppsed me up. was in a long term relationship that ended. got with another partner wich my mum never aproved of, had a major falling out with mother about this and moved from manchester to kent. aftef 2 yrs started talking to mum again. sent her train tickets to come down to kent for her bday.day before she was due ti travel got phone call from police. mum colapsed in supermarket, taken to hospital, not looking good. jumped in car and set off up north. made it to hospital in bolton. she died whilst i was parking the fukin car. missed her by about 7 minutes. will spend the rest of my life wonderin, what if i'd driven faster. maybe i should've over taken that car. if i'd just gotten there on time. so much i wish i could of said to her. but most of all i just wish i could of said how much i loved her and thaked her for all she did forn me.

[Vamps]

All the more reason to talk to someone m8.

[amigov6]

thanks for all the advice and comments. will try and  speake to my gp . it's not that she died that  is affecting me its how that crappity smacked me up. was in a long term relationship that ended. got with another partner wich my mum never aproved of, had a major falling out with mother about this and moved from manchester to kent. aftef 2 yrs started talking to mum again. sent her train tickets to come down to kent for her bday.day before she was due ti travel got phone call from police. mum colapsed in supermarket, taken to hospital, not looking good. jumped in car and set off up north. made it to hospital in bolton. she died whilst i was parking the fukin car. missed her by about 7 minutes. will spend the rest of my life wonderin, what if i'd driven faster. maybe i should've over taken that car. if i'd just gotten there on time. so much i wish i could of said to her. but most of all i just wish i could of said how much i loved her and thaked her for all she did forn me.

For once i don't know what to say except given your posts i'm sure she left knowing you loved her so she was'nt alone really.

[craig]

sorry for your loss mate!!
think i made a mistake putting my problem on here!sorry

[amigov6]

We yak on about all sorts on here but tonight has really opened my eyes to what i guess we all have to face at some point. 25 is unfairly young to be afflicted with such ailments.
    Once again thoughts with you & yours.

[feeutfo]

thought processes can be changed, there are very
good professional programs that can deal with these,
you would be suprised, rangeing from pro
sports people to bi polar/manic depressives etc.
There is help to be had, very good help, you can
come out the otherside burning brighter and stronger
than you ever did before.
Be of no doubt, no doubt at all, it will get better.
Go for it!

[markey mark]

oh kris so sorry for your pain please talk to someone bud ! it will rip you apart ! rather hell life is too short matey ! you as well craig !