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Topics - ARCHIE

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Omega General Help / Omega power upgrade?

« on: 07 August 2009, 21:43:45 »

Need a bit more power out of my 2.2 dti manual for towing. Chipping seems to be the way forward or is it? Trawling the web everyone claims their product is better than everybody elses. I don't fancy posting my ECU off to some faceless spotty nerd with a laptop in his garden shed!
Any advice/testimonials would be much appreciated :-/ :-/

General Discussion Area / University Study (joke)

« on: 11 August 2009, 23:47:49 »

An english university has conducted a survey as to why the bell end of the aroused male member is of a larger diameter than the remainder of the shaft.

Some concluded that it was to increase the pleasure of the female.

Others thought that it was to increase the pleasure of the male.................................................................................................................................................................................................they finally discovered that it was to stop young lads from punching themselves in the face!!!!
:-/

General Discussion Area / Geriatric Romance (joke)

« on: 07 August 2009, 22:42:38 »

Old Tam had been an item with Wee Aggie at he old folks home for several years when without any warning he announced that he was finishing with her.

Wee Aggie was quite shocked at the sudden announcement and, with a tear in her eye, asked him why?

Well said Old Tam, I am going to be seeing Big Betty in room 13.

Ohh Tam! said Wee Aggie, you can't, she is fat, pot ugly and smelly!

Aye, said Tam, but she has Parkinsons!!!!

General Discussion Area / Hello everyone

« on: 03 August 2009, 23:40:23 »

Bought an '02 2.2 dti elite estate as a tug for my caravan. I absolutely LOVE it. Comfortable, economical (not towing) and very stable when towing. Could do with a bit more grunt with the 'van on the back though. A 3.2 would be the obvious answer but, alas, I do not have shares with Shell.
In answer to those who slag off caravans, I run with the herd when in traffic so not to hold anyone up and when on the open road sit at the legal maximum speed (ish).
Tip for those who MUST overtake a caravan - there is always space in front of the towing vehicle for you to cut in as the caravanner likes to brake gently so as not to smash the booze in his cocktail cabinet!

General Discussion Area / Golf Joke

« on: 03 August 2009, 22:32:25 »

Question:- What is the difference between a golf ball and the 'G Spot'

Answer:- A man will spend hours looking for a golf ball !!! [smiley=cheesy.gif]