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Please play nicely.  No one wants to listen/read a keyboard warriors rants....

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Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 507481 times)

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Raeturbo

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1140 on: 15 November 2023, 00:10:19 »

Old but priceless   ;D
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dave the builder

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1141 on: 02 December 2023, 18:21:32 »

No salting the roads or gritters this year

"BLACK ICE matters"
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dave the builder

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1142 on: 24 December 2023, 10:41:21 »

During the Covid 19 lock-down ,If you had family round at Christmas , Police could force entry and make them go home .

Does anybody know if this service is still available , and if you have to book in advance ?   :-\
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Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1143 on: 28 December 2023, 23:52:08 »

Did you heaar about the dyslexic Devil Worshipper who sold his soul To Santa
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The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they arenít a robot.

Varche

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1144 on: 03 January 2024, 23:59:41 »

Dry January is dragging on a bit
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The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they arenít a robot.

Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1145 on: 06 January 2024, 11:54:22 »

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JasonH

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1146 on: 05 March 2024, 19:29:00 »

Itís now been six months since I joined the gym and still I see no improvements. Iíll have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what the problem is.
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JasonH

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1147 on: 10 March 2024, 17:53:07 »

I joined a nudist colony a few weeks agoÖ first few days were the hardest.

The owner of Dulux has been found dead from hypothermiaÖ police said he needed another coat.
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1148 on: 15 March 2024, 13:24:56 »

A blonde goes to the Doctors.

Doctor, why do I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina?

The amused Doctor replied, Those aren't postage stamps, they're the stickers you'll see on bananas!
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Politically homeless ......

Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1149 on: 30 March 2024, 14:00:37 »

This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterward, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."
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RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......

ronnyd

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1150 on: 30 March 2024, 18:00:09 »

She was being a bit hard boiled.  ;)
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STEMO

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1151 on: 30 March 2024, 18:36:25 »

This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterward, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."
A twenty second boiled egg? Yuk.
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Raeturbo

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1152 on: 30 March 2024, 18:46:19 »

Pity she wasnít cooking a Christmas pudding🤣
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JasonH

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1153 on: 17 April 2024, 14:27:37 »

I applied for a job in an ice cream parlour.. They turned me down when I said I canít do Sundays


My doctor told me that Iím suffering from paranoia. Well, he didnít actually say that, but I could tell thatís what he was thinking.


I had a pelican curry for lunch, it tasted nice, but the bill was enormous.


There was a woman selling batteries down the park. She sells C cells by the seesaw...
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1154 on: 26 April 2024, 10:54:26 »

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed...

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...
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RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......
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