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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

This looks identical to the fuel pump I have removed from the car, but the advert states Corsa B rather than Corsa C. Is the same pump used for both cars?.....I have offered £10 which the seller has accepted including P and P.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Fuel-Pump-fits-VAUXHALL-CORSA-B-In-tank-1-0-1-2-1-4-1-6-FPUK-815037-9120218-New/264993296769?_

[dave the builder]

you've enjoyed the job so much that you want to buy the cheapest, non branded pump ,from a seller based in China .
I hope it turns up quickly  ,so you can fit the first pump of many 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

you've enjoyed the job so much that you want to buy the cheapest, non branded pump ,from a seller based in China .
I hope it turns up quickly  ,so you can fit the first pump of many 

I'm thinking of selling the mighty Corsa.

No need to spend more than necessary.

Unaware it may come from the land of the slitty eye though.

[dave the builder]

Unaware it may come from the land of the slitty eye though.

OK 
scroll to the bottom of the listing .....

Business seller information
OUTONG AUTO SPARE PARTS.,LTD
ruibiao dai
Dai Ancestral Temple Baoyi Tang xia
325204 Wenzhou
China
though it does have a UK VAT number showing 

shipping "Economy Delivery (Other Courier 5 days)"  should mean it's drop shipped from a UK warehouse
Item location:   Walsall, United Kingdom

sometimes Ebay sellers tell fibs 

it states "delivery On or before Mon. 18 Jan" though ,so there's that in your favour 

you could of had one delivered and fitted by now ,had you used my original links on another thread and had it listed,
possibly even sold to some spotty ,unsuspecting teenager by now

don't forget to show the buyer where you "welded" the scuttle ,fitting the battery 

[STEMO]

Would you buy a used car from this man? 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

You can have it for a couple of grand, Dave.

Just needs an MOT.

The women will be all over you.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Would you buy a used car from this man? 

That line doesn't quite work when it comes from a scouser.

[dave the builder]

You can have it for a couple of grand, Dave.

2000 Gambian Dalasi I assume you mean ,which is about £28.50

Just needs an MOT.

OK you need to deduct £56 form the £28.50 for the MOT
which means you would owe me £27.50 (if i decided not to haggle ,which I always do when buying a car)

The women will be all over you.

Hardly a selling point 
I have women all over me as it is   
wanting jobs doing

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Don't be such a tight bastard.

You're a builder.......you charge £2000 to clip a bit of loose guttering into place.

[dave the builder]

Don't be such a tight bastard.

You're a builder.......you charge £2000 to clip a bit of loose guttering into place.

Tight yes ,but my birth certificate clearly states in the name of father section "some soldiers" 

guttering is important, if it leaks ,water can wash away ground around the foundation.
subsequent underpinning and making good, redecoration etc can cost tens of thousands 
therefore, my repair skills justify the reasonable charges 

It's not cheap buying a ladder ,rusty van and calling yourself a builder you know 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Don't be such a tight bastard.

You're a builder.......you charge £2000 to clip a bit of loose guttering into place.

Tight yes ,but my birth certificate clearly states in the name of father section "some soldiers" 

guttering is important, if it leaks ,water can wash away ground around the foundation.
subsequent underpinning and making good, redecoration etc can cost tens of thousands 
therefore, my repair skills justify the reasonable charges 

It's not cheap buying a ladder ,rusty van and calling yourself a builder you know 

Seriously though.......a good builder or DIYer can be worth his weight in gold.

I added 3 complete bathrooms to another house. Sorted out the the flow of the water and it's escape route. The only thing I paid for was a qualified electrician.

Anything I can do myself I will do myself.

[Doctor Gollum]

Don't be such a tight bastard.

You're a builder.......you charge £2000 to clip a bit of loose guttering into place.

Tight yes ,but my birth certificate clearly states in the name of father section "some soldiers" 

guttering is important, if it leaks ,water can wash away ground around the foundation.
subsequent underpinning and making good, redecoration etc can cost tens of thousands 
therefore, my repair skills justify the reasonable charges 

It's not cheap buying a ladder ,rusty Omega and calling yourself a builder you know 

Are you sure? 

[dave the builder]

It's not cheap buying a ladder ,rusty Omega and calling yourself a builder you know 

Are you sure? 

I'll let you know when i've saved up enough pocket money to buy a ladder 

I added 3 complete bathrooms to another house. Sorted out the the flow of the water and it's escape route. The only thing I paid for was a qualified electrician.

Anything I can do myself I will do myself.

Great 

though I do make used to make  a fair bit fixing DIY and failed attempts 

[Doctor Gollum]

How much to decorate stairs and landing? Asking for a friend... 

[dave the builder]

How much to decorate stairs and landing? long is a piece of string ? Asking for a friend... 

****sucks through teeth and sparks rolly fag back up ****
prepped, painted, wallpapering
bag of sand plus
(£1000+ in victim talk) 
a good decorator won't be using B&Q DIY quality paint etc and if you supply it ,he'll charge you more to use it 
if you have the time and skills then DIY 

[Doctor Gollum]

Time and ability are overwhelmed by a complete lack of motivation 

Presumably use of the word 'anaglypta' doubles the guesstimate...

[Nick W]

Time and ability are overwhelmed by a complete lack of motivation 

Presumably use of the word 'anaglypta' doubles the guesstimate...

As does artex on walls

[Doctor Gollum]

Not sure if laughing or crying is the appropriate response to that... 

[dave the builder]

Time and ability are overwhelmed by a complete lack of motivation 

Presumably use of the word 'anaglypta' doubles the guesstimate...

it's not as bad as the other swear word beginning with A

Art*x  (pre 1990 ,though it's not definitive)

the anaglypta may come off easy or may not ,test it 
get the can of worms open 
sometimes cheaper to bite the bullet and re-plaster if it's hard to remove,
 steam strippers sometimes blow the finishing plaster off 

or just live with it, slap some dulux on
no one's going to be visiting anytime soon to notice       

As does artex on walls

beat me too it 

[Andy B]

How much to decorate stairs and landing? Asking for a friend... 

to paper mine last year was £600 ....  he made a reasonable job of it and in only 3 or 4 days

[Nick W]

Time and ability are overwhelmed by a complete lack of motivation 

Presumably use of the word 'anaglypta' doubles the guesstimate...

it's not as bad as the other swear word beginning with A

Art*x  (pre 1990 ,though it's not definitive)

the anaglypta may come off easy or may not ,test it 
get the can of worms open 
sometimes cheaper to bite the bullet and re-plaster if it's hard to remove,
 steam strippers sometimes blow the finishing plaster off 

or just live with it, slap some dulux on
no one's going to be visiting anytime soon to notice 

As does artex on walls

beat me too it 

Deb bought her house 26 years ago, and a previous owner had artexed the top half of the corridor and stairs. You probably don't need me to tell you that anyone stupid enough to do that didn't do it very well. So it's been painted a couple of times.


Every few years when she's had a few drinks, she asks me if I'd replaster it. As that's one of the jobs that I would happily pay somebody who knows what they're doing to do, my answer is always:


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  NO!

[dave the builder]

If only there was some sort of easily applied textured finish that could go over the top to hide it all      
 

[Andy B]

...
Every few years when she's had a few drinks, she asks me if I'd replaster it. As that's one of the jobs that I would happily pay somebody who knows what they're doing to do, my answer is always:


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  NO!

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

[dave the builder]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

[Andy B]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

If I have it, it'll be from 30+ years ago when the dock yard workers used to knock 7 colours out of the lagging on board & fill the engine/boiling room and half  the ship with the stuff before they came back to re-lag it  all.

And anyway, when it's gooey, are there any airborne particles to inhale? 

[STEMO]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

Asbestos fibres don't ususally cause problems until many years after inhalation. Most of us on here would die of old age first 

[STEMO]

X TEX is probably best but, if it's been painted a good few times, it may not penetrate.

[dave the builder]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

If I have it, it'll be from 30+ years ago when the dock yard workers used to knock 7 colours out of the lagging on board & fill the engine/boiling room and half  the ship with the stuff before they came back to re-lag it  all.

And anyway, when it's gooey, are there any airborne particles to inhale? 

true, but even particles in steam which you inhale won't be helping any unless you wear a mask etc
I sincerely hope you don't have it from your younger days    I've probably breathed in a few kilo in my time too 
you live and learn

[Nick W]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

Asbestos fibres don't ususally cause problems until many years after inhalation. Most of us on here would die of old age first 

Asbestosis might make that a bit sooner. And it's a horrible thing to have

[dave the builder]

Most of us on here would die of old age first 

Happy thought for the day 

[STEMO]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

Asbestos fibres don't ususally cause problems until many years after inhalation. Most of us on here would die of old age first 

Asbestosis might make that a bit sooner. And it's a horrible thing to have

Yes, but you can claim you worked in a school and leave a nice few bob to the kids 

[dave the builder]

Was the slabs outside the school uneven too Uncle Stemo 

[STEMO]

Was the slabs outside the school uneven too Uncle Stemo 

No. I used to spend most of my time smoking in the boiler house, lagging everywhere.

[dave the builder]

Was the slabs outside the school uneven too Uncle Stemo 

No. I used to spend most of my time smoking in the boiler house, lagging everywhere.

I guess the nicotine blocked most of the asbestos particles from getting into your lungs
great forward planning , well done 

[dave the builder]

Opti seems to have lost all interest in this thread of his   

[STEMO]

Opti seems to have lost all interest in this thread of his   

Lightweight 

[Nick W]

Was the slabs outside the school uneven too Uncle Stemo 

No. I used to spend most of my time smoking in the boiler house, lagging everywhere.

I guess the nicotine blocked most of the asbestos particles from getting into your lungs
great forward planning , well done 

He's a scouser: the cigarettes were made from stolen lagging. Not only were they free, but once they were eventually lit they lasted for hours

[dave the builder]

Opti seems to have lost all interest in this thread of his   

Lightweight 

probably searching for youtube videos for us 

[Doctor Gollum]

I removed Artex from a few ceilings in my house using a steam stripper ..... it just makes it gooey but easily removable.

How IS your asbestosis these days 

Asbestos fibres don't ususally cause problems until many years after inhalation. Most of us on here would die of old age first 

Asbestosis might make that a bit sooner. And it's a horrible thing to have

All jest aside, I can only agree with you on that. As would my Grandfather (an electrician at Chatham Dockyard) if he hadn't died from it...

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

This thread was about the mighty Corsa C and it's Donald ducked fuel pump,

Instead, it has turned into a discussion about wallpaper, by a bunch of old women.

[Doctor Gollum]

Less of the old

Besides we were waiting for you to update on progress

[dave the builder]

Less of the old

Besides we were waiting for you to update on progress

Opti will have to start several new threads about the pump long before the corsa is running 

why hasn't my parcel arrived
why does the interior of the corsa smell of petrol
the pump turned up
how do you connect the wires
why is petrol leaking all over the floor
etc etc 

[Doctor Gollum]

 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Less of the old

Besides we were waiting for you to update on progress

Opti will have to start several new threads about the pump long before the corsa is running 

why hasn't my parcel arrived
why does the interior of the corsa smell of petrol
the pump turned up
how do you connect the wires
why is petrol leaking all over the floor
etc etc 

This would be a TB thread.....

[Sir Tigger KC]

Less of the old

Besides we were waiting for you to update on progress

Opti will have to start several new threads about the pump long before the corsa is running 

why hasn't my parcel arrived
why does the interior of the corsa smell of petrol
the pump turned up
how do you connect the wires
why is petrol leaking all over the floor
etc etc 

Why has my Corsa spontaneously combusted? 

[dave the builder]

Why has my Corsa spontaneously combusted? 

He'll have to drain the mower for enough petrol first and get the value increased on the insurance before he torches it so expect more mower related threads 

I imagine the Opti household is running low on supplies now if Mrs Opti hasn't had the Corsa to go out in to collect turnips and swede 

[STEMO]

Why has my Corsa spontaneously combusted? 

He'll have to drain the mower for enough petrol first and get the value increased on the insurance before he torches it so expect more mower related threads 

I imagine the Opti household is running low on supplies now if Mrs Opti hasn't had the Corsa to go out in to collect turnips and swede 

Lord Opti insists he is a carrot head, not a turnip head.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Why has my Corsa spontaneously combusted? 

He'll have to drain the mower for enough petrol first and get the value increased on the insurance before he torches it so expect more mower related threads 

I imagine the Opti household is running low on supplies now if Mrs Opti hasn't had the Corsa to go out in to collect turnips and swede 

I expect poor Mrs Opti is expected to walk to Waitrose. 

[dave the builder]

Why has my Corsa spontaneously combusted? 

He'll have to drain the mower for enough petrol first and get the value increased on the insurance before he torches it so expect more mower related threads 

I imagine the Opti household is running low on supplies now if Mrs Opti hasn't had the Corsa to go out in to collect turnips and swede 

Lord Opti insists he is a carrot head, not a turnip head.

I think there's some tinned carrots going spare on the panettoni thread 
maybe we could knock up a food parcel ,he's had to splash out on that "cheapest pump he could find" after all   

[TheBoy]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

[dave the builder]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

I don't think confectionary/sweets/chocolate has reached that far north yet ,they suck twigs and chew grass 

[STEMO]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

I don't think confectionary/sweets/chocolate has reached that far north yet ,they suck twigs and chew grass 

I think you'll find you're further north than Opti.

[Nick W]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

Whaaaat?

[dave the builder]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

I don't think confectionary/sweets/chocolate has reached that far north yet ,they suck twigs and chew grass 

I think you'll find you're further north than Opti.

I live in the middle of the known world (Staffordshire/Derbyshire/Leicestershire/Warwickshire intersection)
Lincolnshire is north east 
we've had electric and running water for over 30 years here 

[BazaJT]

Pah,we've had running water here for a lot longer than 30 years.Every time it rains it runs down the walls and puddles on the floor of the mud huts[handy for getting a bath]

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I'm not a native of Lincolnshire. I was born in Ulaanbaatar.

[ronnyd]

So you're a Mongol. Apologies if reqd. 

[STEMO]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

I don't think confectionary/sweets/chocolate has reached that far north yet ,they suck twigs and chew grass 

I think you'll find you're further north than Opti.

I live in the middle of the known world (Staffordshire/Derbyshire/Leicestershire/Warwickshire intersection)
Lincolnshire is north east 
we've had electric and running water for over 30 years here

I think you'll find South Lincs area is well south of you.

[dave the builder]

maybe we could knock up a food parcel

Containing Creme Eggs?

I don't think confectionary/sweets/chocolate has reached that far north yet ,they suck twigs and chew grass 

I think you'll find you're further north than Opti.

I live in the middle of the known world (Staffordshire/Derbyshire/Leicestershire/Warwickshire intersection)
Lincolnshire is north east 
we've had electric and running water for over 30 years here

I think you'll find South Lincs area is well south of you.

possibly ,i'm pretty level with melton mowbray on my scrolls ,so parts of Lincolnshire are lower ,but only by about half an inch 

[STEMO]

Ah, you're in the finger that goes between Staffordshire and Nottinghamshire, not really Derbyshire at all. In that case, you are further south, but not far enough to have running water.

[dave the builder]

not far enough to have running water.

I've got a big long hosepipe ,run off my mum's outside tap in Staffordshire 

[STEMO]

not far enough to have running water.

I've got a big long hosepipe ,run off my mum's outside tap in Staffordshire 

I don't wish to know about your big, long hosepipe, young man. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

not far enough to have running water.

I've got a big long hosepipe ,run off my mum's outside tap in Staffordshire 

I don't wish to know about your big, long hosepipe, young man. 

.......especially if it tend to drip.