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Author Topic: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.  (Read 2844 times)

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dave the builder

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #15 on: 27 January 2021, 21:09:11 »


That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
"tena" for a woman  is about all I'd pay ,including 12" of fuel hose  :P
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Doctor Gollum

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #16 on: 27 January 2021, 21:25:43 »

You'll get what you're given and say thank you afterwards  :D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #17 on: 28 January 2021, 13:38:28 »

I've been using the main dealer, but now the car is 5 years old I may not bother.

Yearly service  (yes, it is essentially an oil change and SFA else) has been around £200-£250 using the 3+ service plan.

To be fair, there's probably about £90 of parts in an oil change on one of those, so not the worst value in the world at £200.

Have you given up on your idea of swapping it for an XJ supercharged 575?

I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)
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Viral_Jim

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #18 on: 28 January 2021, 14:23:56 »


I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)

A very good point. Much like new Range rovers sadly. Every Kim Kylie and Courtney seems to have one. Not like the rare and majestic signum  :y

What is yours putting out now you've had the remap? I still get tempted by the previous generation XJR & s-type R, although down on Cc's, 430bhp is likely to be adequate I would imagine.
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ronnyd

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #19 on: 28 January 2021, 14:29:26 »


That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
You've spelt incontinent wrong.  ;)
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Doctor Gollum

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #20 on: 28 January 2021, 15:32:40 »


That's why they have attractive receptionists with big tits, so in a trance you go along with whatever they say!  :)

For 300 quid I'd expect the "attractive receptionists with big tits" to MAKE my "pipe" leak
and get the car sorted too

You probably have to have a brand spankers top of the range XJ or FF Range Rover for that kinda service!  :D
My pipe leaks most of the time, very inconvenient. Or at least it was, until I discovered tena for men. ;D
You've spelt incontinent wrong.  ;)
No, it's always beem incontinent, only now he has Tena for Men, it's alot less inconvenient  ;D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #21 on: 28 January 2021, 15:46:29 »


I did toy with idea but I think it is simply too big.

Besides, TB owns an XJ so obviously the car has an image problem. :)

A very good point. Much like new Range rovers sadly. Every Kim Kylie and Courtney seems to have one. Not like the rare and majestic signum  :y

What is yours putting out now you've had the remap? I still get tempted by the previous generation XJR & s-type R, although down on Cc's, 430bhp is likely to be adequate I would imagine.

As stock Jaguar quote 510 BHP and 461 ft lb.

According to Viezu the remap will add another 50-60 BHP and another 50-60 ft lb.....(my mind won't work in NM)

Once moving and into it's stride it's as quick as a 2020 M5, RS6 or E 63S....and they all have 600 BHP.

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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #22 on: 28 January 2021, 16:59:31 »

One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #23 on: 28 January 2021, 17:12:22 »

https://youtu.be/D5HJd3Pwtys

Not exactly sure what they did to this 2008 XFR 5.0 V8 prototype to make it hit 225 MPH...... :)
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STEMO

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #24 on: 28 January 2021, 17:17:36 »

One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup
That must have been one big lockup.  ;D
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STEMO

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #25 on: 28 January 2021, 17:18:39 »

Oh......engines, not cars  :-[
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Viral_Jim

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Re: This is a bit naughty, Jaguar.
« Reply #26 on: 28 January 2021, 18:25:39 »

One of our Seniors often talks about when the 5litre supercharged was first introduced.

There was one for sale via one of the magazines, so business protection popped around to buy it.............with the Police, and when the guy answered the door they asked where the other 9 were as the engine had not been launched and a truck load of protos had disappeared enroute from darkest Wales.....they were in his lockup

I remember hearing about that. The theft I mean, not the recovery. Guess that bit isn't as interesting. Amazingly stupid though, to sell something which can't yet be bought, and openly advertise it.  ::)
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