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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Woke up to a flat battery this morning. I have charged it up for now and hope the battery is not terminally f*ucked.

I have also noticed the petrol gauge has stopped working......any connection?

[STEMO]

If there was a connection it would probably work. More like no connection 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

If there was a connection it would probably work. More like no connection 

I'm very fortunate to have such a knowledgeable member of the forum reply to my post. I could have been lumbered with a reply from a member who knows sweet f*uck all about motor cars.

[STEMO]

Ask a stupid question.........

[Marks DTM Calib]

which car?

[Andy H]

which car?

Doesn't Opti run a fleet of tractors for grounds maintenance?

[henryd]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I speak of the highly desirable and much sought after Signum 2.8T

[VXL V6]

I speak of the highly desirable and much sought after Signum 2.8T

Have to use the cranking handle

[STEMO]

I speak of the highly desirable and much sought after Signum 2.8T

Have to use the cranking handle

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I speak of the highly desirable and much sought after Signum 2.8T

Have to use the cranking handle

....only available on later models.

[Sir Tigger KC]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

[Rangie]

Just had to replace the leisure battery on our caravan, got 10 years out of it though the motor mover was struggling so seemed obvious that the battery was kaput.

[STEMO]

So.....the question on everyone's lips is......did it hold a charge or did the poor old lad have to fork out for a new one?
A new battery on top of the cost of living crisis......it doesn't bear thinking about 

[Sir Tigger KC]

So.....the question on everyone's lips is......did it hold a charge or did the poor old lad have to fork out for a new one?
A new battery on top of the cost of living crisis......it doesn't bear thinking about 

I think we can assume that it held a charge, otherwise he'd have been on asking for the cheapest place to buy a battery. 

Of course we'd have recommended Halfords! 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Yep.....seems to be holding it's charge now.

Why it went flat may remain as much of a mystery as the Roswell crash in 1947.

Battery is a Bosch and was on the car when I bought it about 6 years ago.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

So.....the question on everyone's lips is......did it hold a charge or did the poor old lad have to fork out for a new one?
A new battery on top of the cost of living crisis......it doesn't bear thinking about 

I think we can assume that it held a charge, otherwise he'd have been on asking for the cheapest place to buy a battery. 

Of course we'd have recommended Halfords! 

No money for a new battery.

A new fridge arrived yesterday  finished in a puke inducing shade of pastel green (much like the STMO's old Astra). It cost silly money, but as it came from Mrs Opti's personal stash of cash  I have very little say on the matter.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

No need for a pacemaker when you own something as uninspired as a  Mondeo Titty X. Your pulse will never get above 40 BPM.

[Sir Tigger KC]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

No need for a pacemaker when you own something as uninspired as a  Mondeo Titty X. Your pulse will never get above 40 BPM.

Clearly you'd be surprised then.    The Transit engine drags it around quite quickly and it handles very well with the sports suspension. 

It probably doesn't get the pulses of 19 year old blondes with long legs and big titties racing though, I concede.                                                   

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

No need for a pacemaker when you own something as uninspired as a  Mondeo Titty X. Your pulse will never get above 40 BPM.

Clearly you'd be surprised then.    The Transit engine drags it around quite quickly and it handles very well with the sports suspension. 

It probably doesn't get the pulses of 19 year old blondes with long legs and big titties racing though, I concede.                                                   

You need a Ferrari, Porsche, Aston, Lamborghini, or Morris Marina 1.8TC coupe to make the girlies moist and attentive.

[Sir Tigger KC]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

No need for a pacemaker when you own something as uninspired as a  Mondeo Titty X. Your pulse will never get above 40 BPM.

Clearly you'd be surprised then.    The Transit engine drags it around quite quickly and it handles very well with the sports suspension. 

It probably doesn't get the pulses of 19 year old blondes with long legs and big titties racing though, I concede.                                                   

You need a Ferrari, Porsche, Aston, Lamborghini, or Morris Marina 1.8TC coupe to make the girlies moist and attentive.

I think that the marvellous Morris Marina 1800TC Coupe would only make girls from a certain generation moist and attentive, and they might be a bit saggy these days!   

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

which car?

Gotta be the rare Signum as the Tata is long gone

I assumed it was the battery on his pacemaker! 

No need for a pacemaker when you own something as uninspired as a  Mondeo Titty X. Your pulse will never get above 40 BPM.

Clearly you'd be surprised then.    The Transit engine drags it around quite quickly and it handles very well with the sports suspension. 

It probably doesn't get the pulses of 19 year old blondes with long legs and big titties racing though, I concede.                                                   

You need a Ferrari, Porsche, Aston, Lamborghini, or Morris Marina 1.8TC coupe to make the girlies moist and attentive.

I think that the marvellous Morris Marina 1800TC Coupe would only make girls from a certain generation moist and attentive, and they might be a bit saggy these days!   

Well, you're too old to be lusting after girls young enough to be your granddaughter.

But the sepia toned memories off Marina sex will never fade.

[Raeturbo]

I wouldn’t trust the gearstick in any marina👀

[dave the builder]

I wouldn’t trust the gearstick in any marina👀

at least you didn't need a specific key to open a marina ,any key would work 

[Raeturbo]

Yes but why would you ever want to get in one in the first place🤣🤣 (sorry Tig)🥊

[Sir Tigger KC]

I wouldn’t trust the gearstick in any marina👀

at least you didn't need a specific key to open a marina ,any screwdriver would work 

Fixed that for you Dave. 

[Sir Tigger KC]

Yes but why would you ever want to get in one in the first place🤣🤣 (sorry Tig)🥊

Pffft where to start! 

[Raeturbo]

They hardly ever did🤣