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[bob.dent]

This hit my e-mail this afternoon and had me in stiches. Hope it doesn't upset our Chinese newbie :-?

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder,

"You Sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens itthe little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You
sign!"

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard and says:


(It's a beauty)


(wait for it)


(Get your best Chinese accent ready)


"You not Nissan Main Deala?"

 

[Markie]

pmsl      

[Shangai_Ste]

You pig Bob Dent!

[bob.dent]

You pig Bob Dent!

Methinks you got a problem mate

[theolodian]

You pig Bob Dent!

Methinks you got a problem mate

Leave it to Bob to bring down international relations!  

Hey, how about giving Awantyourmommydead in Iran a call?  

[Tony H]

 :yClass

[Elite Pete]

Nice on Bob

[Del Boy]

Lol  

[Bo Bo]

It's good  , seen it before though!

[MikeDundee]

Ha ha ha LOL nice one

[Chopsdad]

The wife even broke into a grin with that one -  despite trying her hardest not to  

[Del Boy]

The wife even broke into a grin with that one -  despite trying her hardest not to  

 

[Timbuk]

Class

[Gwilym]

Like It

[supermop]

Quality joke. Had me in stitches at work too!  

You pig Bob Dent!

Says the guy who can't spell Shanghai!

I hear Ikea sell senses of humour in flatpacks these days. Didn't know they were that bad though!  

[nixoro]

Quality joke. Had me in stitches at work too!  

You pig Bob Dent!

Says the guy who can't spell Shanghai!

I hear Ikea sell senses of humour in flatpacks these days. Didn't know they were that bad though!  

Pmsl

[Markjay]

Apparently some people actually think this is funny:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

[The Barge Captain]

nice  

[Elite Pete]

Apparently some people actually think this is funny:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

[MikeDundee]

Ha ha ha!!!!!

Apparently some people actually think this is funny:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

[bob.dent]

Apparently some people actually think this is funny:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

 [smiley=lolk.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Nice one Mark

[Markjay]

OK, since we are on the topic of silly jokes, here goes another one:

A guy walks into a piano bar and sees a monkey sitting on the end of the bar with a glass filled with whiskey. Now ... every few minutes the monkey dips
his balls into the whiskey ...

He walks to the pianist and asks him : "Do you know the monkey who dips his balls into the whiskey ?"

and the pianist replys : " nope, but hummm along and i'll try to catch up..."

[TheBoy]

Apparently some people actually think this is funny:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

Yes, don't give up the day job....

[TheBoy]

OK, since we are on the topic of silly jokes, here goes another one:

A guy walks into a piano bar and sees a monkey sitting on the end of the bar with a glass filled with whiskey. Now ... every few minutes the monkey dips
his balls into the whiskey ...

He walks to the pianist and asks him : "Do you know the monkey who dips his balls into the whiskey ?"

and the pianist replys : " nope, but hummm along and i'll try to catch up..."

oh dear....  

[Auto Addict]

OK, since we are on the topic of silly jokes, here goes another one:

A guy walks into a piano bar and sees a monkey sitting on the end of the bar with a glass filled with whiskey. Now ... every few minutes the monkey dips
his balls into the whiskey ...

He walks to the pianist and asks him : "Do you know the monkey who dips his balls into the whiskey ?"

and the pianist replys : " nope, but hummm along and i'll try to catch up..."

Never mind, go and have a lie down MJ :-?