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[STEMO]

After not getting the bastard the last four times wifey has had it, it's fifth time unlucky. Mo is a trooper, she really is, been bad with it all week but still been into work. I tested at tea time after shivering and shaking all day and it was positive. Hope it's a short term thing, doggie is not very understanding when he needs a crap.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Sure it's Covid? 

It could be Man Flu, in which case I hope Mo has taken out Life Insurance on you!     

[STEMO]

Sure it's Covid? 

It could be Man Flu, in which case I hope Mo has taken out Life Insurance on you!     

"I tested at tea time......." 

If it was manflu, I would have been dead this morning. Although, I must admit, I've had a rough night..

[Sir Tigger KC]

Sure it's Covid? 

It could be Man Flu, in which case I hope Mo has taken out Life Insurance on you!     

"I tested at tea time......." 

If it was manflu, I would have been dead this morning. Although, I must admit, I've had a rough night..

Give it time.  It might be Long Manflu! 

[STEMO]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

[STEMO]

I spoke too soon, I had a really bad night last night. Sweating and shouting out nonsense (don't). The Mrs helped me by getting me a glass of water and pissing off to another bedroom.

[Rangie]

Our neighbours along the road have had the same for over a week now, not good at all .

[STEMO]

The Mrs is taking the dog out this morning, first time I've missed since we got him a year ago. 
Feel as if I'm letting him down, silly old fool.

[redelitev6]

Can we still call it Man Flu , should it not be "non specific gender Flu" ? 

[Doctor Gollum]

Can we still call it Man Flu , should it not be "non specific gender Flu" ? 

That sounds a bit, er, gay.

[STEMO]

Don't believe this fùckin Covid. Been in bed all afternoon, sweating and shaking again, only this time being sick and peeing out the wrong hole. I could put it down to another bug, as we did when the wife was bad three weeks into Covid, but too much of a coincidence. Getting pissed off with it now, the only saving grace (for me) is that wifey is on half term, so can take the dog out.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Can't you just die quietly FFS? 

[STEMO]

Can't you just die quietly FFS? 

Sorry,Tigger, I woke up still alive  Never mind, I'm sure I'll die of old age soon 

[TheBoy]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I've had the Chinese sniffle but other than feeling slightly out of sorts it didn't cause much of a problem.

........but then I'm much younger than most on here.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

TMI.

[Sir Tigger KC]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

TMI.

Sounds like it was lucky he didn't have a prolapse! 

[STEMO]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

TMI.

Sounds like it was lucky he didn't have a prolapse! 

As I said, wifey is off for half term. She would have to don the marigolds and shove it all back in. She watches The Yorkshire Vet, so she knows how it's done.

[Sir Tigger KC]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

TMI.

Sounds like it was lucky he didn't have a prolapse! 

As I said, wifey is off for half term. She would have to don the marigolds and shove it all back in. She watches The Yorkshire Vet, so she knows how it's done.

Your Mrs is obviously a practical kinda gal!                                 

[ronnyd]

After a megadump in the bowels department this morning, I have been out with doggie for a couple of hours and don't feel bad at all. Fingers crossed 🤞

TMI.

Sounds like it was lucky he didn't have a prolapse! 

As I said, wifey is off for half term. She would have to don the marigolds and shove it all back in. She watches The Yorkshire Vet, so she knows how it's done.

Your Mrs is obviously a practical kinda gal!                                 

What the hell's she doing marrying him then? 

[STEMO]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

How many bags of sugar is that?  Three? 

[Doctor Gollum]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

How many bags of sugar is that?  Three? 

Er, 6

[STEMO]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

How many bags of sugar is that?  Three? 

Er, 6

6 1lb bags, 3 2lb bags or 1 6lb bag. 

[countrywoman]

Or a big box of doughnuts---------

[Sir Tigger KC]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

How many bags of sugar is that?  Three? 

Er, 6

6 1lb bags, 3 2lb bags or 1 6lb bag. 

I was thinking of the bags of sugar that are roughly about the size of a house brick. The bag at the back of my cupboard is 1KG or 2.2lbs, although I suppose they would have used fractions in the olden days. 2 and 1/5 lb, or more likely the bags were just 2lbs pre the metrification of weights and measures.

I'm too young to know about this you see. 

[STEMO]

Yeah, yeah... you and opti 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

[STEMO]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

Also....people generally weigh quite a bit more in the late evening when compared to first thing in the morning.

4-10 lb is not unusual (especially if consuming fine ale)

[STEMO]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

Also....people generally weigh quite a bit more in the late evening when compared to first thing in the morning.

4-10 lb is not unusual (especially if consuming fine ale)

Correct, that's why I get weighed in the morning before I get dressed and before I have anything to eat. The stupid nurse up at the doctors told me I was overweight after jumping on her scales fully dressed, straight after lunch with pockets full of crap. I told her.......well, you know what I told her 

[ronnyd]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

Also....people generally weigh quite a bit more in the late evening when compared to first thing in the morning.

4-10 lb is not unusual (especially if consuming fine ale)

Correct, that's why I get weighed in the morning before I get dressed and before I have anything to eat. The stupid nurse up at the doctors told me I was overweight after jumping on her scales fully dressed, straight after lunch with pockets full of crap. I told her.......well, you know what I told her 

Usually, the nurse who weighs me at our practice is twice my size. 

[STEMO]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

Also....people generally weigh quite a bit more in the late evening when compared to first thing in the morning.

4-10 lb is not unusual (especially if consuming fine ale)

Correct, that's why I get weighed in the morning before I get dressed and before I have anything to eat. The stupid nurse up at the doctors told me I was overweight after jumping on her scales fully dressed, straight after lunch with pockets full of crap. I told her.......well, you know what I told her 

Usually, the nurse who weighs me at our practice is twice my size. 

Yes, Ron, the NHS seems to take great delight in embarrassing these poor nurses. When they call your name and you follow them in, you're usually following a massive arse swaying from side to side 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I think when I had it last year I got off quite lightly, as it just knocked me out for about 2 weeks.

It was better than any fad diets as well, I lost loads of weight

You're spot on, Jaime, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 6lbs over the last couple of weeks.

Most of that will be due to dehydration. Lots of pissing, shitting, and sweating, I imagine.

Yep, plus food tasting like, well, nothing. Just a blob of something in your mouth 

Also....people generally weigh quite a bit more in the late evening when compared to first thing in the morning.

4-10 lb is not unusual (especially if consuming fine ale)

Correct, that's why I get weighed in the morning before I get dressed and before I have anything to eat. The stupid nurse up at the doctors told me I was overweight after jumping on her scales fully dressed, straight after lunch with pockets full of crap. I told her.......well, you know what I told her 

Usually, the nurse who weighs me at our practice is twice my size. 

Yes, Ron, the NHS seems to take great delight in embarrassing these poor nurses. When they call your name and you follow them in, you're usually following a massive arse swaying from side to side 

The nurse I see weighs roughly the same as an ocean going liner. Yet she still has the cheek to say I should weight about a stone and a half less so my 15 stone 6' 1" frame can cope better.

I really should say "have you looked in the mirror lately because you look like a beached whale"......but I'm too polite.

[TheBoy]

The nurse I see weighs roughly the same as an ocean going liner. Yet she still has the cheek to say I should weight about a stone and a half less so my 15 stone 6' 1" frame can cope better.

I really should say "have you looked in the mirror lately because you look like a beached whale"......but I'm too polite.

Plus you probably want to shag it

[Sir Tigger KC]

The nurse I see weighs roughly the same as an ocean going liner. Yet she still has the cheek to say I should weight about a stone and a half less so my 15 stone 6' 1" frame can cope better.

I really should say "have you looked in the mirror lately because you look like a beached whale"......but I'm too polite.

Plus you probably want to shag it

At his age I expect Lord Opti likes a bit of cushion for the pushin! 

Might as well be comfortable! 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

The nurse I see weighs roughly the same as an ocean going liner. Yet she still has the cheek to say I should weight about a stone and a half less so my 15 stone 6' 1" frame can cope better.

I really should say "have you looked in the mirror lately because you look like a beached whale"......but I'm too polite.

Plus you probably want to shag it

At his age I expect Lord Opti likes a bit of cushion for the pushin! 

Might as well be comfortable! 

It would be more like shagging a bouncy castle.

I don't mind an extra bit of womanly flesh, but I draw the line when she has a sagging apron of flesh that covers her fanny......and can almost reach her knees. 

[STEMO]

The nurse I see weighs roughly the same as an ocean going liner. Yet she still has the cheek to say I should weight about a stone and a half less so my 15 stone 6' 1" frame can cope better.

I really should say "have you looked in the mirror lately because you look like a beached whale"......but I'm too polite.

Plus you probably want to shag it

At his age I expect Lord Opti likes a bit of cushion for the pushin! 

Might as well be comfortable! 

It would be more like shagging a bouncy castle.

I don't mind an extra bit of womanly flesh, but I draw the line when she has a sagging apron of flesh that covers her fanny......and can almost reach her knees. 

It all goes sideways when they lie down, like shagging a jellyfish.