Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[dad1uk]

  A  nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks  down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with  frustration.
 
"What  troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother  Superior..
"I thought this was the day you spent with  your family." 

"It was," sighed the Sister. 
"And I went to play golf with my brother.
We try to  play golf as often as we can.
You know I was quite a  talented golfer before I devoted my life to  Christ." 

 
"I  seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed.
"So  I take it your day of recreation was not  relaxing?"

"Far  from it," snorted the Sister.
"In fact, I even took  the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness,  Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
"You  must tell me all about it!"
 

"Well,  we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, 
- 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and  a hidden green...
I hit the drive of my life.
I  creamed it.
The sweetest swing I ever  made.
it's flying straight and true, right along the line I  wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !"

 
"Oh  my!" commiserated the Mother.
"How unfortunate!
But  surely that didn't make you blaspheme,  Sister!"


"No,  that wasn't it," admitted Sister.
"While I was still  trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs  out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the  fairway!"
 
"Oh, 
that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized the  Mother Superior..
 
"But  I didn't, Mother!" sobbed the Sister.
"And I was so  proud of myself!
And while I was pondering whether  this was a sign from God,
this hawk swoops out of the  sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball  still clutched in his paws!"
 

"So  that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a  knowing smile.


"Nope,  that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, 
"because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the  squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him  right there on the green, and the ball popped out of  his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the  cup!"

 
Mother  Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across  her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and  said...













 
"You  missed the flippin' putt, didn't  you?"

[PhilRich]

Blimey mate, i've just reached this post & dbug stole your thunder by being nearer the top than you
Never mind, heard it before but a good laugh just the same, thanks for sharing 

[Amigo]

A young nun joins a convent. Upon her induction she is taken to see the Mother Superior who explains to her she must obey a vow of silence & may only utter two words every 5 years?
   After her first 5 years she is brought before the Mother Superior & says " hard bed" so is promised a softer mattress. After her 2nd 5 years she comes forward again & says "cold food" & is told her food will be brought to her quicker. After her 3rd 5 years she says "go home" To which the Mother Superior replies "You might as well, you've done nothing but moan since you got here"!
 

[PhilRich]

A young nun joins a convent. Upon her induction she is taken to see the Mother Superior who explains to her she must obey a vow of silence & may only utter two words every 5 years?
   After her first 5 years she is brought before the Mother Superior & says " hard bed" so is promised a softer mattress. After her 2nd 5 years she comes forward again & says "cold food" & is told her food will be brought to her quicker. After her 3rd 5 years she says "go home" To which the Mother Superior replies "You might as well, you've done nothing but moan since you got here"!
 

Another Oldie but a Goldie