Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Auto Addict on 22 October 2006, 21:32:36

Title: New European Directive
Post by: Auto Addict on 22 October 2006, 21:32:36
European Union Directive




The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has been finally reached to adopt a single language for the European Union. The preferred language for all European communications will now be English, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the final negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five – year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, the letter ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, Sivil Servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k’.

Ther will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ some 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to attain a stage where more komplikated improvements are possible.

By the forth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and redusing ‘w’ by 50 persent to just ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar moves would be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl.

Ze drem of a truli akseptibil Englis languaj vil av finali kum tru.
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Baron Von Spongebob on 22 October 2006, 21:43:55
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was

rdanieg.



The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind.



Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a
cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia

Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: theolodian on 22 October 2006, 21:45:31
Quote
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was

rdanieg.



The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind.



Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a
cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia

Or we're just used to a bunch of bad spelling and typo's . . . gotta love the Internet!  ::)
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Del Boy on 22 October 2006, 22:03:13
Quote
Quote
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was

rdanieg.



The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind.



Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a
cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia

Or we're just used to a bunch of bad spelling and typo's . . . gotta love the Internet!  ::)

I have seen this before lol eye tricks or summin like that ;D
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Elite Pete on 22 October 2006, 22:36:12
Quote
European Union Directive




The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has been finally reached to adopt a single language for the European Union. The preferred language for all European communications will now be English, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the final negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five – year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, the letter ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, Sivil Servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k’.

Ther will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ some 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to attain a stage where more komplikated improvements are possible.

By the forth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and redusing ‘w’ by 50 persent to just ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar moves would be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl.

Ze drem of a truli akseptibil Englis languaj vil av finali kum tru.
I bet that took some typing ;D
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Martin_1962 on 22 October 2006, 23:49:19
Well it is easier to read than texting ;D
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: mijfife on 23 October 2006, 10:31:59
Not the best thing to read on a Monday morning either  ;D

Cheers Jim
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Markjay on 23 October 2006, 23:57:25
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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speed bird 206") after landing:

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt. Speed bird 206, clear of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speed bird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speed bird 206: "Stand by a moment ground. I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground: "With some arrogant impatience, "Speed bird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!"

Speed bird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944... But I didn't actually land."
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Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Doughboy on 24 October 2006, 00:01:48
Quote
Ground: "With some arrogant impatience, "Speed bird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!"

Speed bird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944... But I didn't actually land."

Class  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: Markjay on 24 October 2006, 00:04:22
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'Guten Tag und velcome zum Lufthansa flight 631 to Frankfurt. Zis is your captain spekaing. Bitte fasten your seat belts... und I vant to hear one click!'

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Title: Re: New European Directive
Post by: The Barge Captain on 26 October 2006, 16:03:52
Quote
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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speed bird 206") after landing:

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt. Speed bird 206, clear of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speed bird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speed bird 206: "Stand by a moment ground. I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground: "With some arrogant impatience, "Speed bird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!"

Speed bird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944... But I didn't actually land."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Seen that before - total kwality   ;D