Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: bob.dent on 22 June 2012, 15:28:27
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A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price
He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs put it on and model it for him
Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea.
It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing.
I won't put it on - do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow and get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'.
So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.
The husband says 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'.
His funeral is this Thursday.
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;D ;D ;D
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Nice one Mr Dent(https://dl.dropbox.com/u/43954633/rofl.gif)
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Very funny. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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A woman is chatting to her friend about how boring and mundane her sex life has become.
"do what I did" replies her friend, " when he comes home from work tonight, run him a nice hot bath, when hes having a nice relaxing soak cook him a lovely big steak with all the trimmings and when he's finished that give him a few quid and tell him to go for a couple of beers and watch the footy at the pub, and tell him not to be too late as you have a nice surprise waiting for when he returns"
"whats the surprise?" she asks
"well when he comes home, be waiting for him with your sexiest skimpiest underwear on and a big smile, works every time!"
The wife is skeptical but agrees to try it.
Sure enough after hubby has his bath his huge steak and has been for a few he appears back home. He walks in and says " right, I want you to go upstairs right this minute, and do a handstand right up against that full length mirror in the bedroom!"
Wow!!!! Hes NEVER been like this before, Thinks the wife and shoots upstairs into the room and handstands at the mirror as requested.
Hubby comes in and strides straight over to her, and places his chin right between her legs.
"what are you doing!?" Says the wife
"well" he says, " jim at the pub says I would suit a beard"
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Just what i needed after a hard week..a good laff Thanks :y :y
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;D ;D ;D ;D
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A husband returns home, after doing his stint with the Olympic torch.
Beaming from ear to ear, he tell his wife they even give you a pack of Olympic medal condoms.
He says, lets go up stairs, as I can't wait to use the gold one.
She replies, why don't you use the silver and come second for a change.
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nice bit of humour on a friday night ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y
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A pervert makes a phone call and a women answers
The pervert, with heavy breathing says
'ooohh I bet you have a tight arse with no hair'
Women replies
'Yes' he is watching the football, who shall I say is calling...... :y
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y