Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Entwood on 21 March 2013, 11:27:53
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Posted on another forum
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
Edit .. OOPS .. not sure how that happened .. if a mod could move it please .... (sorry) :(
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very good and very close to the truth :y :y :y :y
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Welsh Corporations
Think Cow owners are perverts, sheep are the only true currency
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Brilliant Nigel! :y :y :y :y
So, so true!! :D :D :D :D :y
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I will add to your list
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.
Nobody drinks milk.
You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro
A CYPRIOT CORPORATION
You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them
using borrowed money.
You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They
sell the future milk production of the 60 cows and fund your
lifestyle.
You retire to anywhere that doesn't use the Euro.
AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows except the Botox one.
But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour.
An IRISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows and don't understand why they aren't producing calves.
A DYSLEXIC CORPORATION
You have two crows :-[
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I will add to your list
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.
Nobody drinks milk.
You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro
A CYPRIOT CORPORATION
You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them
using borrowed money.
You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They
sell the future milk production of the 60 cows and fund your
lifestyle.
You retire to anywhere that doesn't use the Euro.
AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows except the Botox one.
But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour.
An IRISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows and don't understand why they aren't producing calves.
A DYSLEXIC CORPORATION
You have two crows :-[
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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GERMAN CORPORATION
Have 2 cows that productively produce 16 calves.
They lend 16 Euro countries the money to buy the calves, build a fully German equipped milking centre and a six lane motorway to the capital city for efficient distribution.
Farmer can't afford to use the equipment, so motorway gets unused and the country runs out of money, so all 16 farmers, travel to Germany and milk the 2 original cows dry.
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all very good ;D ;D ;D :y
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I will add to your list
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.
Nobody drinks milk.
You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro
A CYPRIOT CORPORATION
You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them
using borrowed money.
You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They
sell the future milk production of the 60 cows and fund your
lifestyle.
You retire to anywhere that doesn't use the Euro.
AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows except the Botox one.
But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour.
An IRISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows and don't understand why they aren't producing calves.
A DYSLEXIC CORPORATION
You have two crows :-[
;D ;D